To throw a pack of wet wipes at my husband?

(74 Posts)
appletarts Sat 30-Nov-13 14:17:48

Well I didn't actually throw them at him! they didn't hit him! I threw them into the room past him! not even aiming at him! I feel the need to say that! I am so frustrated. Can you please tell me would you be wound up with this? Today we were having homemade pizzas and we always have mushroom, DS has food allergies so has to have lots of veg as no cheese. So DH does usual shop this morning and mushrooms are on the list but he comes home without them, I don't make any fuss, no big deal. So he makes pizzas (this is the only meal he makes each week, saturday morning) while I clean upstairs. Turns out he has put one of the pizzas on a pizza tray with holes flat on the bottom of the (not so clean) oven, not on a rack, flat on the bottom of the oven. Plus on DS pizza he has only put courgette and pepper, no other veg. So now I'm frigging irritated because the pizza for DS looks very sorry for itself and our pizza is flat on bottom of grubby oven. STILL I bite my tongue. Then he hoovers downstairs for 15 minutes to do a bad job and then when I come back down the sodding pizzas are burnt, he'll eat them but they're crap and burnt. I blew up and threw a pack of wet wipes at him and he's stormed out leaving DS upset not knowing where he's gone. GRRR He regularly does small bodge ups like this and I'm losing patience fast. Would you be pissed off? I've now spent 20 mins cleaning up kitchen after him and whole lot went in bin and I had to make another lunch which is all taking time away from reading I'm meant to be doing for my degree - ARSE>

Yabu

IslaValargeone Sat 30-Nov-13 14:22:09

I'm sure I'd be pissed off at burnt pizzas etc, however YABU to have thrown something in anger.
No matter where you post this, or however much you change the 'I threw them/I didn't actually throw them' YABU.
Try talking to him.

KrabbyPatty Sat 30-Nov-13 14:26:34

Throwing something in anger, regardless of what it is, would never be OK in my house.

YABU

Hercy Sat 30-Nov-13 14:27:00

I'm pretty sure that if anyone takes the time and effort to prepare a meal, they don't burn it on purpose. Plus you say he would have still eaten his (so not a complete write off, just a bit overdone?), yet you binned the whole lot. That seems rather mean.

He shopped, he cooked, he hoovered, but it seems that because he didn't do those things exactly as you wanted, you've thrown your toys out the pram.

Gruntfuttock Sat 30-Nov-13 14:27:53

Like * IslaValargeone* I also thought 'Try talking to him'. I wouldn't dream of behaving like this, because I would talk to my husband about such things, not 'blow up' and throw wet wipes at him! Good grief, aren't you supposed to be friends as well as husband and wife and behave accordingly? Mutual respect for example.

CailinDana Sat 30-Nov-13 14:37:24

YABU. Throwing things is childish and borders on abusive. I hope you're going to apologise for it.

Have you ever tried talking to him about this?

TobyLerone Sat 30-Nov-13 14:39:59

YABU. How ridiculous.

DIYapprentice Sat 30-Nov-13 14:42:50

YANBU - I hate the 'well I did it, that should be good enough for you' even though they did a completely and utterly crap job of it! What's the point of doing things if you're just going to do them really badly?!

I can see why you're upset, I think a pizza with just courgette and peppers would be completely and utterly rank IMO, and the bottom of the oven, unless cleaned on a weekly basis, is always yucky. But to then have yuck pizzas burnt as well.... well I wouldn't eat them either.

DoJo Sat 30-Nov-13 14:43:37

So instead of letting him sort out the situation which he caused (accidentally presumably!), you 'blew up' and threw something. I'd say that having to clean the kitchen and sort out an alternative meal is probably the minimum you should expect after that. YABU and treating him like a child - you're losing patience with his small bodge ups? It sounds as though you like being in control and are frustrated that he doesn't adhere to your standards, but he is an adult and entitled to do things the way he sees fit. Maybe you should just let your son complain if he doesn't like the way his food is prepared, let your husband eat the burnt bits of the pizza and try to see the positives rather than the negatives in these fairly minor incidents.

You have essentially thrown something at your dh for burning your tea. Sort yourself out and apologise to your husband.

Cluffyflump Sat 30-Nov-13 14:45:27

You need to apologise for throwing something at him!
What is wrong with you?!

TobyLerone Sat 30-Nov-13 14:46:24

Would it be ok if you prepared something for his dinner and it wasn't done to his standards so he threw something at you?

Budgiegirlbob Sat 30-Nov-13 14:46:47

YANU to throw anything. How would you feel if you had shopped, hoovered, and made lunch, only for your DH to throw things at you!!

It is irritating sometimes when your other half is a bit slap dash, but throwing is out of order

YABU. If the situation was reversed and he threw something at you in anger you would be seeking advice on domestic violence. No excuse. Take a deep breath and control you temper

I burn my youngest Pizza regularly, if she threw someth

Yabu. Reassure your ds, welcome dh home when he gets back and then have a conversation about what's really wrong when he gets home.

Sorry, if she threw something at me because of it, I would walk out to consider my response and let her calm down.

She wouldn't treat me like that, however.

I'm not always great at Housework, either, certainly not to some peoples standard.

Unless youvare absolutely skint, you are VBU.

You should of talked about it with him and let him put it right.

It isn't a gendered issue, tbh, my DD is the forgetful, less able one in her relationship, but her DP cuts her some slack and I would bury him under the patio if he took to throwing things at her.

AgentZigzag Sat 30-Nov-13 15:21:09

YABU, but I feel for you, emotions running high and things getting to both of you equally, although he was trying to help out by cooking/hoovering.

I don't think chucking a packet of wet wipes near someone is indicative of abuse, more that it's showing you need to try to get things in perspective and find some time for both of you to deal with the stress?

I've chucked things across the room in my time, (radio alarm when it wouldn't turn off was one), at anyone would be unacceptable, but not a packet of wet wipes, and not when it's not actually aimed at him.

ithaka Sat 30-Nov-13 15:27:18

YABU, throwing something at your husband because he burned your lunch. Reverse the genders & there would be cries of LTB.

You should learn to control your temper, for your husband & child's sake. No child should have to witness their parent flying off the handle & throwing things in anger.

mouldyironingboard Sat 30-Nov-13 15:27:19

YABU

Your DH tried to help out with shopping, cleaning and cooking and you threw a box of wipes at him because it wasn't good enough. [Shock]

You sound bad tempered and mean.

gobbynorthernbird Sat 30-Nov-13 16:18:16

I occasionally bugger up a meal, dunno if my cleaning is up to DH's preferred standard (he's not daft enough to complain if it isn't). Is it ok for him to throw stuff at me?

appletarts Sat 30-Nov-13 17:53:49

I didn't throw them at him I threw them across the room onto the floor. I have decided to give up trying to share domestic chores with him and am now going to do the whole lot myself, I honestly think it will end in divorce otherwise. He burns everything, forgets to put central ingredients in, like will make spag Bol and tell me it's done and everyone to sit at table and we all sit and he's forgotten to do the spaghetti. Last week we had a dinner party and because I had to sit and feed the baby and he was left on his own for 5 minutes he served up the main course and completely left the starter and told everyone to start, so they did. I had spent an hour earlier in the day preparing this amazing starter and had put it in the fridge, he knew it was there but he forgot. He takes the kids out without their coats on in frigging winter and takes them in his car in cold and doesn't put heater on in the car, because he forgets. He fed ds food he is allergic to because he forgot to read the ingredients on a packet. I feel I am the only responsible adult in the house and I have no family to help and I get no sort of break ever. I was so exasperated today that I wanted to sit and weep but instead threw the wet wipes across the room. I have apologised to him for that, he thinks all the things he forgets Are no big deal but he has even forgotten to give kids snacks when out etc and I think all these little things mount up and equal a responsible parent. I'm exhausted by it.

How on earth does he function in his work life?

He must get fired from every job for being totally incompetent, surely? Or is it only on the domestic front that he is 'incapable'

veee123 Sat 30-Nov-13 18:01:16

It's not really a big deal. Pick your battles. Throwing things is very unreasonable.

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