To find it a bit odd that DP's ex still wears her wedding ring?

(119 Posts)
purpleroses Sat 30-Nov-13 08:02:55

That's it really. They've been divorced over 4 years and she lives with new DP too. Seems rather strange to me confused

MuffCakes Sat 30-Nov-13 08:04:10

That is odd, I bet she still has his last name to!

Morgause Sat 30-Nov-13 08:05:04

Maybe it's to ward off unwanted male attention. Or she feels that she wants it observed that her children were born to a married woman?

I wouldn't stress about it.

Fairylea Sat 30-Nov-13 08:05:18

Odd to me... I sold my old wedding ring to the pawn shop as soon as my divorce came through!

Having helps ward off unwanted male attention and comments.

What is it to you anyway?

purpleroses Sat 30-Nov-13 08:09:22

She does still have his surname too. But I can kind of see why she might want the same surname as her DCs. The ring wearing just seems more odd to me. DP and I are getting married next year. So they'll not only be 2 Mrs (DpPsurname) but we'll both be wearing rings he gave us. She left DP for another man ffs

ilovesooty Sat 30-Nov-13 08:09:46

I kept my ex's last name. I was used to it and liked it better than mine. I still have my wedding ring but don't wear it. I've recently started wearing my eternity ring again. It's by far the most attractive and expensive piece of jewellery I own and it seems a shame not to. I wear it on the little finger of my right hand.

ImaginativeNewName Sat 30-Nov-13 08:12:15

I'd be sad to give up my wedding ring too because I really like it but I wouldn't wear it if divorced. I can see why you feel uncomfortable, especially as you are getting married.

purpleroses Sat 30-Nov-13 08:13:19

I wouldn't have a problem with that at all Sooty but this is very obviosly a wedding ring worn on her ring finger. DP says yes it is the ring he gave her

Mayvis Sat 30-Nov-13 08:13:24

My mum still wears hers and my parents split 25 years ago. No idea why but it's not hurting anyone. She also kept her married name so it was the same as ours.

CuriosityCola Sat 30-Nov-13 08:15:32

It sounds like the ring doesn't have the emotional attachment that many people have with their wedding rings. It is probably just another piece of jewellery to her.

I would find it odd though.

deepfriedsage Sat 30-Nov-13 08:16:51

I kept my married name, same as the dc and a pita to change.

It's not your business and you need to leave the womanalone, even if she is a scumbag cheat.

Weegiemum Sat 30-Nov-13 08:17:33

My mil has been divorced 20 years, has kept her married name and still wears her rings.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Sat 30-Nov-13 08:18:57

I'd find it odd (and irritating) but meh, there's nothing you can do.

deepfriedsage Sat 30-Nov-13 08:20:24

A lot of single mums keep their married name as you may not realise the discriminateation they think you were a benefit scrounging teen mum otherwise if your not thirty when you have your first dc.

Ledkr Sat 30-Nov-13 08:20:38

It might just be that she doesn't want people to see her as an "unmarried mother" I kept my married name even tho I'm remarried because I thought my dd had enough to be dealing with with a new step dad so could do without me having a different name to her.
It was weird because when dh and I had our dd she was referred to as "baby ex's surname" luckily dh is extremely laid back about it.

purpleroses Sat 30-Nov-13 08:20:44

No you're right. There's not much I can do about it.

Kafri Sat 30-Nov-13 08:23:44

If she's happily shacked up with another fella then I really wouldn't be too worried

If things were different and she were chasing her xh left right and centre then maybe but as it is I don't see a problem. Leave her to it - she must have her reasons.

purpleroses Sat 30-Nov-13 08:24:15

As I've already said - I don't have a problem with the surname thing. Just the ring wearing

Wingspan123 Sat 30-Nov-13 08:27:15

YANBU, I would also find it odd and would possibly be a little upset too but there isn't really any need. The thing to remember here is that this is out of your control and if you can take a step back emotionally you would see it shouldn't matter to you. Their marriage broke down so that ring isn't a symbol of that any more. She may not have given it any real thought herself. Try not to worry and think of all the happiness you have and what you have got to look forward to - rings and surnames don't matter smile

Cutteduppumpkin Sat 30-Nov-13 08:37:48

I think that's very odd, but unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it.

Pooka Sat 30-Nov-13 08:41:37

My mother still wears her wedding ring and my parents divorced nearly 30 years ago. It's just a ring for her. No symbol. She kept her married name too.

Nomorepat Sat 30-Nov-13 08:43:03

Yes, in all honesty, I would find it odd, don't misunderstand me a widow doing this is completely normal but a divorcee? Not normal at all.

My neighbour in roughly the same position does so , too. I'm puzzled by it.

Are you on good (ish) terms with her? Is it the sort of relationship where you could ask her (guessing not, why ask here otherwise and not her directly).

I find it more odd that women still take their husband's name upon marriage

Pooka Sat 30-Nov-13 08:46:40

She might have moved it to her right hand at some point (my mother, that is). But I really can't recall.

Doesn't symbolise her hankering after my father (who remarried about 21 years ago).

Is a nice ring - heavy and solid. And I expect she was just so used to wearing it having been married for about 20 years that it didn't occur to her that she should have to take it off when there wasn't any reason to.

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