AIBU to tell ds head teacher that I am shocked only girls are in the choir ???

(72 Posts)
aldiconvert Fri 29-Nov-13 21:26:17

My ds1 age 7 joined choir at the start of the year and loved it .... He is not a great singer but enjoyed it and I was so glad he was joining in as it is good for his confidence etc .... However, after a term of 'ribbing ' for being the only boy, he has now had enough and dropped out .... I am proud that he lasted so long and went even though none of his friends did , but I am also disappointed that he has dropped out just before Xmas concert Etc ... However , why on earth was he the only boy in the choir ???? A I b u to tell the head that I am shocked that no boys are in the choir and the ones who were are not being retained ???? Surely a choir should be full of boys and girls these days ???!!!!! Raging !

aldiconvert Fri 29-Nov-13 21:27:20

My friends are telling me to leave it ... Hence the post !

IneedAwittierNickname Fri 29-Nov-13 21:28:29

My son is the only boy in ks1 choir, I assume that's because no other boys wanted to join

SecretNutellaFix Fri 29-Nov-13 21:29:34

Don't go in about the boys not being in the choir.

Approach it that you are concerned he has felt forced into dropping out because of taunts from certain other children in the class.

Was it the other boys in the class or was it the girls in the choir?

AgentZigzag Fri 29-Nov-13 21:29:46

Maybe the lads don't want to be in a choir? confused

Would you really make them?

Raging?

Hopefully you've just hyped that up a bit for the AIBU audience?

Euphemia Fri 29-Nov-13 21:29:54

When did he tell you about the ribbing?

AgentZigzag Fri 29-Nov-13 21:30:45

You're not raging at your DS dropping out are you?

But if no boys want to be in it, what can the school do? I bet they've bent over backwards to try and get boys to join the choir.

Annunziata Fri 29-Nov-13 21:31:14

Well they can't force them.

MissMillament Fri 29-Nov-13 21:31:33

So what do you suggest the HT does about it, OP. They would probably love to have more boys involved in the choir so I'm sure if you have some suggestions about how to encourage that participation the head would welcome your comments.

ChunkyPickle Fri 29-Nov-13 21:35:57

The school could clamp down on sexist bullying, the same way they would on any other kind of -ism or bullying.

Sexism really is far too acceptable still, and this is bad for everyone.

NoComet Fri 29-Nov-13 21:38:54

It seems to be par for the course at junior and senior school there are way more girls sing than boys. I don't think there are any boys in the primary choir at the moment and their have only ever been one or two.

DD1 sings in the county choir and that too is almost all girls. It's a real pity.

jamdonut Fri 29-Nov-13 21:39:09

Our school choir started off a just over a month ago with about 35 children, mostly girls and about ten boys.

By today about a third of the girls had dropped out and there is one year 6 boy and three determined year 3 boys left.

You can't make them come, it is voluntary.

The girls that dropped out were encouraged to by a Queen Bee type who decided it was boring and wanted everyone to follow her suit. Despite talking to the girls about it, the peer pressure was greater.sad

OrlandoWoolf Fri 29-Nov-13 21:40:46

That's really sad. My DS (8) is in the choir and is definitely in a minority. I really hope no one would tease him but children do - schools need to address sexism and sexist boys do this, girls do that attitudes.

I'm not sure how a school can attract boys to a choir and it's a vicious circle. Just like Billy Elliot. It needs boys to get more boys.

Children should be taught not to tease children for being different.

OrlandoWoolf Fri 29-Nov-13 21:42:57

The pressure to fit in must be awful on children. Things aren't cool, things are "nerdy" and they are boy / girls things.

How do we get children to be themselves without peer pressure?

Sunnysummer Fri 29-Nov-13 21:43:36

YANBU to be shocked, but YABU to blame the school. This is a much wider cultural issue, where singing has become a girly thing and for performance more than enjoyment. Boys only seem to be keen in choirs that are all-male (which have their own sexism issues!), as pps said, the school would probably love to balance out their choir.

If you want to raise concerns about the taunting that is absolutely reasonable, but is a separate issue.

AgentZigzag Fri 29-Nov-13 21:43:58

Hopefully they'll come back in dribs and drabs jammy, less attention on them that way.

There must have been something that drew them in in the first place, it'll draw them back again I'm sure.

ThistledownAndCobweb Fri 29-Nov-13 21:44:43

They aren't refusing to allow boys to be choir members, but as it appears to be a voluntary activity conversely they can't force them either

MammaTJ Fri 29-Nov-13 21:45:22

How is the HM meant to make boys join?

OrlandoWoolf Fri 29-Nov-13 21:48:13

Some aggressive Friday night posters here.

It might be worth just mentioning to the Head or the teacher concerned why your DS left. It is a voluntary activity but get the right songs and you can spark an interest in those who might not have thought about it.

Like the choir performing some pop songs in assembly.

EndoplasmicReticulum Fri 29-Nov-13 21:49:52

My son is one of two boys in the choir. (total about 20 I think?). No teasing that he has mentioned. I'd be more cross about the teasing.

Floggingmolly Fri 29-Nov-13 21:50:36

How do you suggest they retained your son when it was his decision to drop out?

CecilyP Fri 29-Nov-13 21:50:44

I would presume that all members of the choir are volunteers and your DS was the only boy volunteer. No different from many years ago when I was in junior school and a boy in my class was also the only boy in the choir and was happy to remain so for years. Agree with others you can't demand that other boys join the choir, but you can speak to the school about the ribbing that has put your DS off.

MamaMary Fri 29-Nov-13 21:51:25

Agree that it's a real shame there are no boys in the choir and that your DS had to drop out.

But...raging? What do you expect the school to do about it?

SatinSandals Fri 29-Nov-13 21:52:51

My boys would have hated to be in a choir, and since they can't sing in tune I doubt they would have been wanted! I can't see the sense of making them to equal it up.

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