AIBU to think its fucking cruel...

(110 Posts)
chirpchirp Tue 26-Nov-13 12:33:31

To make a woman who is miscarrying and attempting to hold it together sit in a waiting room for over an hour surrounded by happy pregnant, bump rubbing women?

I probably am as I'm emotionally drained and haven't slept properly since I started bleeding on Sunday. I've been sent for a scan to confirm what I already know, I'm here on my own as DH can't afford to take time off work and my only friend who knows is looking after DS so I didn't have to bring him with me. My appointment was over an hour ago, apparently they are running late as it's a junior doctor but that's all they can tell me not how much longer I'll be here for.

There must be other women going through what I am, could they not gives us all appointments in the morning or at the end of the day so we can all sit here close to tears together rather than hearing the (understandable) excited giggle of women who aren't going through hell?

hermioneweasley Wed 27-Nov-13 14:44:28

Elfontheshelf, what OP is asking for doesn't cost anything. So many of the problems people experience are about standards of care and simple systems and process issues, easily fixed.

It would cost nothing to have women who are being seen for miscarriage to be seen first thing, or for the safe surgery checklist to be used, or for people to wash their hands between patients etc etc.

That's a terrible way to treat you, I'm so sorry.

When my DT's were born 8 weeks prem by EMCS they went straight to special care, and I went straight to the main ward and spent the next 48 hours surrounded by happy families (and crying babies) all the time not knowing whether my 2 were going to make it. When I asked if I could go to a side ward or single room there were raised eyebrows as if I were being ultra unreasonable, it was awful.

I can't imagine it's deliberate, just completely thoughtless.

Pawprint Wed 27-Nov-13 15:22:33

It's completely horrible, isn't it?

I hated, hated, hated that waiting room when I had miscarriages. Seeing all the women cooing over their scan pictures when I had just been told my baby had died sad

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage sad

mrsjay Wed 27-Nov-13 15:27:18

elf it doesnt take much for a miscarry scan or appointment to be done away from pregnant women it really doesn't all it is is a managing of a clinic,

I can still remember years ago when I was on antenatal ward women who had had miscarraiges and still births were in with all us still pregnant women and babies and new mums on the other side of the ward I hope it isn't like that nowadays

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers Wed 27-Nov-13 15:29:16

Horrible experience for you and my heart goes out to you.
At Kings there was a special unit for the Early Pregnancy scans, but I did wonder at the time if this would exist in smaller hospitals, as it would have been painful to be with the routine ones.
I had 2 miscarriages within 6 months, The doctor said 'Hello, nice to meet you again'. Er, not really. confused
dh could not come to either scan, and my pregnant friend came to one with me!

cosysocks Wed 27-Nov-13 15:30:56

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that. I also had to do it twice once to confirm miscarriage and again to say my womb was empty.
I hope you take care of yourself and I'm sorry for your loss x

chirpchirp Wed 27-Nov-13 16:41:26

Saddened by how many women have had the same experience, and often far worse experiences than me. My heart goes out to all of you.

KatieMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Nov-13 21:37:28

Hello everyone

So sorry to hear that so many of you are going through this or have recently gone through this.

We've drafted a template letter that those of you that want to can adapt and send to your local trust. This should be up on the site early tomorrow.

As Becky says it was a big part of our campaign, but frustratingly after central govt. (or other politicians) give warm words, they then say, 'so yes, do get involved with each hospital locally', which obviously is pretty tricky and some hospitals are better than others.

What everyone is talking about here, being able to wait and be treated in a separate space, is actually part of existing guidelines,but very clearly not everyone adheres to them. Following on from the campaign we asked each trust (in England) what they were doing. You can read the results of the trusts that responded to our 2012 FOI requests here. If you're happy to please do post any responses you receive from the trusts.

Best

MNHQ

nopanicandverylittleanxiety Wed 27-Nov-13 22:15:14

yanbu

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 29-Nov-13 14:55:34

Hi all,

Here is a link to the letter you can send to your local NHS Trust or practice.

Please do take the time to copy the letter and forward it on.

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