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... to be really upset he lost his wedding ring

(20 Posts)
vvviola Sat 23-Nov-13 06:21:54

DH was swimming with the DDs today while I hid out under my umbrella (heading towards summer here, not hardy souls braving the cold wink)

Somewhere in the jumping about in the waves his wedding ring slipped off sad

He's upset and annoyed about it, but has kind of shrugged his shoulders and said 'what can you do?'.

I'm a lot more upset than I thought I'd be. I've been oddly on the verge of tears all day. blush It wasn't that expensive but it was bought in Paris the same day we bought my engagement ring, and it'll be a good two years before we have a chance to get back there again. And just buying a new one feels wrong.

Bless him, he just tried to cheer me up by suggesting we use it as an excuse to get married again hmm

DaddyPigsMistress Sat 23-Nov-13 06:27:11

Well. Whats can he do? Its lost.

JeanSeberg Sat 23-Nov-13 06:28:10

YABU - it was an accident and it's only a ring. My (now ex-) husband lost his ring in similar circumstances and when we got the new one, we got the vicar who married us to bless it.

MumOfTheMoos Sat 23-Nov-13 06:29:33

It is sad, I agree with you, but it is only a symbol, not the marriage itself!

Rather than trying to replace it exactly, why don't you try and find him another ring with new connotations and meaning - can you go away for. A weekend somewhere closer and make it a special ring buying weekend?

Or maybe include the DCs in the whole process.

Make it special again, iyswim?

vtechjazz Sat 23-Nov-13 06:34:26

Why not wait, then when next in Paris buy you an eternity ring, him a new wedding ring and renew vows???

Hissy Brazil Sat 23-Nov-13 06:43:35

Love, he lost it larking around with your DC in the water, enjoying playing with his kids, being a dad, and a good husband.

Many of our kids haven't got a dad who'd ever bother doing any of that.

This is just a ring, it can be replaced. Being a good dad/husband in the first place can't be.

I lost my DH's wedding ring about 4 years ago blush he gave it to me to look after while he changed a tyre and it slipped off my thumb! Looked for ages but couldn't find it. Luckily he wasn't on the verge of tears though losing something worth a couple of hundred pounds is no small thing... I bought him a new one several months later, which he claims to like better...

You can't help emotions, but your DH is right IMO, at least he just lost an object...

redcaryellowcar Sat 23-Nov-13 06:56:57

i think i would feel sad too, and am sure my husband would respond in a similar way, he is so relaxed he us almost horizontal!
i think hissy has got it spot on in that he sounds Llike a great husband and dad. lost in very genuine circumstances!

MrsDavidBowie Sat 23-Nov-13 06:59:50

I lost my wedding ring a year ago...no idea where.
Dh keeps asking me if I want another one, but I actually don't.

I don't have an engagement ring either.

It doesn't really matter. At least he didn't remove it to imply he wasn't married grin

Longdistance Sat 23-Nov-13 07:07:47

Aww, never mind.

My dh takes his off when he plays rugby, goes swimming, or anything sporty, just in case he loses. At least your dh was doing something fun with the kids.

24again Sat 23-Nov-13 07:11:35

My husband doesn't even wear a wedding ring. I can understand that you are upset but I think you are taking this out of all proportion! It's a ring not your first born!

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Sat 23-Nov-13 08:16:10

DH and I have only been married two years and neither wear ours as they got took.off and misplaced and lost. We arent much for jewellry and as such spent a nominal amount on them.

Can appreciate the sentimentality of that particular ring, being from Paris, but it is just the way life goes.

vvviola Sat 23-Nov-13 08:16:57

Hissy, that's a lovely perspective, thanks grin

I was pretty sure IWBU about it. I was really surprised at myself at how I reacted. I'll put it down to the heat getting to me, and have a look at some of the lovely replacement ideas/plans you guys have suggested, secure in the knowledge I was being totally unreasonable before wink

Christelle2207 Sat 23-Nov-13 08:27:42

I lost my engagement ring recently. Was beside myself. I got over it though, and got a lovely replacement thanks to insurance.
Yanbu to be upset.

Purple2012 Sat 23-Nov-13 08:34:54

I don't think yabu. I would be upset too. Yes it isn't the end of the world but it is important to you so you are bound to be upset. My husbands ring is too big for him at the moment so he doesn't wear it to work as it slips off especially when it's cold.

kiwiscantfly Sat 23-Nov-13 08:35:26

My DH lost his less than a month after we got married while digging in the allotment. He is the third husband I know of who has lost their ring, seems quite common sadly.

My commiserations.

bakingaddict Sat 23-Nov-13 08:40:25

I lost my engagement ring a while ago and haven't worn my wedding ring for a good six months now. It just got too tight and was making wearing it uncomfortable. It is in no way representative of the state of my marriage and I probably wont even bother getting replacements.

BadRoly Sat 23-Nov-13 08:42:01

Dh lost his a few years ago on holiday at his Mum's apartment. We thought it lost forever and I was surprised that I too felt like you.

Don't know to this day why I was so upset because it didn't change anything - the ring is only a symbol not the actual marriage! But we went and got a pair of matching silver rings and that helped a bit.

12 months later mil found the lost ring while she was doing a deep clean of the apartment!!! grin

Ememem84 Sat 23-Nov-13 08:42:14

We've been married for 3 years and dh has lost his twice. Once it came back. The second time we had to get it replaced. Sad times. But it could have been worse.

Obviously I'm saying this now. When it happened again I was really angry and upset.

Make sure it's noted on your house insurance.

Hissy Brazil Sat 23-Nov-13 08:42:54

AND you get an excuse to keep going back to the beach to see if it turns up! smile

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