To expect him to cash my cheque?!!

[Primadonnagirl]

I have family other end of country who we see a couple of times a year. We've long stopped doing presents , except for big occasions. six months ago my nephew turned eighteen so I sent a cheque in a card. Not v imaginative I know but I couldn't think of anything else plus thats what I did for his sister. Now his parents are quite comfortably off so I doubt he needed the cash but that's not the point. However, whats really irking me is he hasn't cashed it yet. He's definitely got it ..although I never got a thank you..cos his Mum told me. I've reminded them but it still hasn't been cashed. Now apart from the fact that I have to keep remembering its still I my account ( I'm usually down to zero at mend of month!) I think it's really rude and ungrateful..like rejecting my present. Or AIBU.? I don't really feel comfortable saying I need it to go out in case I forget and go overdrawn

[Sparklingbrook]

Are cheques still only valid for 6 months?

[WhoNickedMyName]

I think after 6 months it's at the discretion of the bank as to whether they will honour it or not.

YANBU.

Personally, I'd cancel it if he hasn't cashed it by now.

[Primadonnagirl]

Oops six weeks!!!!!!!!sorry

[SauvignonBlanche]

Does he have a bank account?

[Caitlin17]

My mother in law gives me cheques. I never cash them. I'm quite bad at cashing cheques generally.

So far as giving them I never notice if they're cashed, I don't check bank statements.

[Trifle]

We have a friend who always used to send ds1 and ds2 a cheque each every birthday. We always thanked him profusely but never cashed them. We knew he was always skint but appreciated the gesture.

[Sparklingbrook]

You won't get a new cheque book if the cheque that triggers it doesn't get cashed.

[Guitargirl]

Regarding 6 months being the limit for cheques. I don't think banks are that vigilant tbh. I remember taking a cheque to be cashed once that a distant relative had written, she had spelt both my names incorrectly and, because it was the new year and she had forgotten the year had changed she dated it January 2011 instead of January 2012 which is when I was actually cashing it. I stuck it at the bottom of some other cheques and it went through no problem.

[AnneEyhtMeyer]

Banks never really check anything on cheques. I have had loads of out-of-date cheques paid in without problem, and I had one cheque made out to me in my married name before I had changed it at the bank, the figures and the words were slightly different and it was one of my male cousin's cheques but signed by my aunt as Mrs Surname. The cashier didn't bat an eyelid.

I'm terrible for cashing cheques, it takes me months to get round to it.

[MerylStrop]

Its not rude or rejecting, don't be touchy.

I'd ring his mum and tell her that if he doesn't pay it in by x date you will have to cancel it.

[Sparklingbrook]

Banks charge you to cancel cheques.

[WhoNickedMyName]

Banks don't charge to cancel cheques if you say you've lost it, at least Nat West doesn't.

[WhoNickedMyName]

Ah just seen its 6 weeks, not months.

In that case I'd give them more time, I've been known to forget about a cheque for a month or two.

[FloozeyLoozey]

Internet transfer next time, leaves your account instantly.

[CustardOmlet]

This sounds like my DH, I have to dig cheques out of his wallet and cash them myself else they would expire!

Internet transfer is easier and safer

[Caitlin17]

Sparkling I'm sure that's not correct wise you'd have to tell them if you spoiled or tore up a cheque.

[Sparklingbrook]

Well it always used to be Caitlin, so you got a new cheque book when you were so far through the existing one. if you hadn't received it you could use the order slip when you got to it.

[mumteedum]

In same boat. It is a pita. Sent cheque for wedding gift ( they wanted money) as we couldn't attend wedding. It hasn't been cashed and Im bit worried about it going out and taking me overdrawn now in middle of Xmas expenses.

Perhaps it's them being kind as they might know we don't Have much money (& they do!).

[Primadonnagirl]

I don't have bank account details and I know he'd never give me them cos he'd say he doesn't need the money. But that's not the point - who really needs a gift? But I just feel rejected...and a bit patronised too

[Sparklingbrook]

I can't believe an 18 year old didn't cash it asap TBH.

[Primadonnagirl]

Me neither! Also to people who say a cheque is a PITA ..really? So someone gives you a gift and it's too much hassle to get it?

[toffeesponge]

Maybe they don't plan to cash it?

[Teeb]

A gift should be a gift, not a chore and inconvenience.