I'm currently pregnant with baby #2. My in laws live far away and have to fly to come and visit (45 min flight). When DS was born, they came when he was a week old and stayed for almost 3 weeks. I found them staying so close to his arrival a massive strain and feel it affected our bond in those early weeks. MIL is a nanny and total know it all which didn't help my confidence. They visit around every 4-5 months now to see DS, and as we have gotten older and more independent, they have become more and more undermining (we were quite young having DS and I think they are struggling with empty nest syndrome!)
I have been clear from the start with OH that when #2 arrives, I do not want visitors staying for any long length of time, as it is important for us to find our feet as a family of 4 before we have any more disruption. I gave a ball park figure of at least 2-3 weeks. Visitors coming for an hour or two - fine, but weeks at a time is too much for me. OH totally agree's with me on this but finds it hard to communicate with his parents - he of course doesn't want to cause upset.
In laws don't seem to realise how much of a burden they are when they stay. They see themselves as a massive 'help' but in reality it just puts pressure on me to have my stuff together 24/7, and with a newborn + toddler this is going to be almost impossible!
AIBU to request that they leave it a few weeks before coming to visit when #2 arrives? Is it totally harsh of me? I don't want to fall out with them over it, but I feel I should put myself (and my children) first in this situation..
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AIBU?
to stop in-laws visiting?
26 replies
millskii · 21/11/2013 16:34
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