To not apologise for making my exMIL cry?

(83 Posts)
KingRollo Tue 19-Nov-13 19:05:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippednailvarnish Tue 19-Nov-13 19:07:13

Ask them to muzzle it?

HotDogSlaughter Tue 19-Nov-13 19:08:04

They are being totally unreasonable.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Tue 19-Nov-13 19:09:49

"just snaps and barks" would be enough for me to keep the dog well away from dd and myself

She is being dramatic.and frankly ridiculous if this means she no longer ever sees your dd ever again. You are well shot.

Fairylea Tue 19-Nov-13 19:10:33

She is being a drama queen and very unreasonable. Their dog is snappy so you cannot trust it around dd. As you know it really is that simple. They will have to either keep the dog locked away as you say or have to have contact with your dd elsewhere. (Said as someone who had 3 dogs when my own dd was little).

YokoUhOh Tue 19-Nov-13 19:11:34

They're being unreasonable and controlling. You aren't. Your daughter should be protected from the dog; they're being disingenuous by telling you not to worry, of course you're worried! If they query it, you could just say that she's terrified of the stinking mutt animal and won't go near it.

KingRollo Tue 19-Nov-13 19:11:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairy1303 Tue 19-Nov-13 19:13:49

YANBU.

However I'm surprised after your previous threads that you went to the family party! You are a saint!

Hope things are working well for you in your own little home.

Stick to your guns.
You don't need the drama.

Preciousbane Tue 19-Nov-13 19:14:03

I would just say these are my conditions and if not met then no visiting will take place.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 19-Nov-13 19:14:06

Dogs and children don't mix.

Dogs have no human feelings, they are not babies and can't think like a human. A dog can't communicate to say leave me alone or I'm unwell ect.

A baby is learning the world around them and do not think the way an adult does, especially about dangers.

That's why supervision/ seperation or muzzling is the safest options, if dog owners can't do that then they don't see the child.

KingRollo Tue 19-Nov-13 19:14:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MothershipG Tue 19-Nov-13 19:14:14

Dog owner/lover here and this sounds to me like an accident waiting to happen. sad

So far it's 'just' snaps & barks but what if your DD accidently falls on it? Or puts her hand to steady herself near the dog?

If there is anyway you could trust them to be sensible I'd say go and try and smooth things over but it really sounds like they won't take your feelings into consideration. I'm afraid you're going to have to stick to your guns.

MintyChops Tue 19-Nov-13 19:15:25

I have 2 dogs, adore them and they are great with my kids BUT if someone came to my house (and this has happened several times) and either they or their child was unhappy about the dogs being in the room with them I would put the dogs out. Your MIL is an idiot.

Fairy1303 Tue 19-Nov-13 19:15:27

Maybe say 'I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. That wasn't my intention. However, I stand by not wanting to have DD near the dog, as, even though it only snaps and barks, that is quite scary for her and I don't want her developing a fear.'

KingRollo Tue 19-Nov-13 19:15:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Tue 19-Nov-13 19:15:43

I would say the following "my request was not intended to hurt your feelings. I dont think it is safe to give my dd free reign aroubd the dog, therefore to keep her safe, I asked for the dog to be kept away from her. As you seem to prioritise your dog over your grandchild, all visits will now have to be out and about or, as you will always be welcome, here at my home. If you dont agree with this then fine, however I ould be sad to hear that you are prepared to disregard your own Granddaughter so easily"

HettiePetal Tue 19-Nov-13 19:16:46

Apologise for what? Not wanting a snapping, barking dog around your 11 month old?

Life is short, I suppose, so you could call to talk things through and see what you can arrange - but ultimately I don't think you should back down.

KingRollo Tue 19-Nov-13 19:16:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Tue 19-Nov-13 19:16:56

If you bend on everything else in your life, please please do not bend on this one thing. In my job I see the damage a 'snap' from a dog can do to the soft buttery skin of kids faces, hands etc. YANBU at all! I have three dogs and love them but I am totally aware sometimes dogs and kids can be incompatible. Good luck.

thebody Tue 19-Nov-13 19:17:42

a snappy dog who is treated like a child v a toddler?

no competition, it might cause your mil some grief but that would be a tiny pinprick to how you would feel if the dog mauled your dd.

for me it would be a red line.

greenfolder Tue 19-Nov-13 19:17:46

Its really not a question of who backs down. There is no compromise to be made. Your dds safety vs a dogs "feelings". I would sit it out. You hold all the cards

KingRollo Tue 19-Nov-13 19:18:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Retroformica Tue 19-Nov-13 19:18:13

I wouldn't apologise. If I really had to I would probably give a crap apology 'sorry you felt upset when I mentioned xbout the dogs' rather then a direct 'sorry for upsetting you, I retract my needs'

thebody Tue 19-Nov-13 19:19:40

a snappy dog who is treated like a child v a toddler?

no competition, it might cause your mil some grief but that would be a tiny pinprick to how you would feel if the dog mauled your dd.

for me it would be a red line.

YouTheCat Tue 19-Nov-13 19:21:12

Don't apologise. Just send her a link to the latest poor child who's been badly bitten and tell her to get over herself.

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