to be fed up of sitting every night next to a sleeping DH?

(41 Posts)
iwanttobelola Thu 14-Nov-13 21:52:50

another night where half an hour after eating and sitting on the sofa that DH has fallen asleep, woken after half an hour and decided to get to bed (at 8.30pm!)
We were both up at 5.30am, he was at work by 7am and I got the (4) DC's to school (after feeding dogs, chooks etc) and then to work at 9.30am til 2.45pm then school run, after school clubs, homework, H/Ec prep, DC's dinner and then mine and DH's dinner made .. he comes home at 6pm, having had what he describes as an 'easy day with a good laugh with the lads' and proceeds to tell me in detail (yaawwwnn) I put kids to bath & bed, serve tea, we eat , he sits and falls asleep ..so sat on my own again watching shite on TV and f**ked off AIBU ? its like this 5 nights out of 7

arethereanyleftatall Thu 14-Nov-13 22:31:23

I definitely agree that you need a hobby. You're really good to be doing so much of the work without complaining!,and, 2 days of the week, your hobby should start at 6pm. Its absolutely his turn sometimes to do bath and bed.

AnandaTimeIn Thu 14-Nov-13 22:44:14

4 kids, dogs and chooks to take care of?! Never mind getting up at 05.30 to go to work...

I'd be right pissed off if I had to do that on my own...

am a SP, one teenager - dad left - is enough!

chinley Fri 15-Nov-13 00:29:07

Slip some caffeine into his dinner. Better yet, get his bloods tested, he may have an iron or B-vit deficiency.

CrohnicallyTired Fri 15-Nov-13 07:22:26

Iwanttobelola- it can be. I had gestational diabetes and I always knew if I had gone high after a meal, as I would go really sleepy. Now the diabetes has cleared up so has the post meal sleepiness.

Normalisavariantofcrazy Fri 15-Nov-13 07:28:04

My DH is exactly the same except we both work full time.

All I get from him is 'I wish I could change my body clock but I can't!'

It's infuriating and you have my sympathies

Ruprekt Fri 15-Nov-13 07:33:41

You need to change the routine.

He can choose....make dinner and do packed lunches or he can do the bathtime routine.

smilesmile

cheminotte Fri 15-Nov-13 07:43:31

yanbu. He should be helping out and can do his post work relaxing after dinner just like you.

SmugAndSanctimoniousArsehole Fri 15-Nov-13 07:45:03

Sounds a bit like my house, except I'm your dh blush

Were both up early with the kids, dh leaves at 6.30, I do the morning stuff and drop them of (x3).
i work 8.30-6 including travel, dh works 6.30-3.30.

He picks the kids up and does all the evening stuff, I get in, eat my dinner and basically collapse. We leave all the house work other than a few wash loads and washing up etc at the weekend.

I do dropping off at cubs/scouts, he does pick up because by 8.30 I am ready for bed.

Multiple children and two ft jobs mean early nights and exhaustion, generally.

<yawn>

brettgirl2 Fri 15-Nov-13 07:46:16

This annoys dh about me grin

I need lots of sleep, 9.30 to get up at 6.30, so exactly the same op. I can't help it, honestly blush

dozeydoris Fri 15-Nov-13 07:57:42

I don't get him relaxing online after work while you do baths.

I would tell him DCs would like to see more of him (ie he does bathtime) and you are going running with a neighbour at that time, it's dark so you don't want to go alone, but you need to get fitter. Thus you leave him to it and you aren't there to see what goes on so it is up to him how well it goes. And just go out for a nice stroll round the block for half an hour (at least). Come back refreshed to finish off bed time (as it sounds like it will be beyond DP to do it all) then sit down to your new hobby, writing a novel, knitting a hat, making homemade Xmas cards, learn a language, do online reviewing of books you have read, mumsnetting etc etc. Keep off the wine as it reduces brain power.

If you think he will be fully enthused about doing bathtime alone just be honest and tell him you want a break, otherwise use the story above so he can't whinge you into continuing as you are.

dozeydoris Fri 15-Nov-13 08:03:40

I have been trying to improve my sleep (constant waking in small hours) and to do that now limit my time in bed, so go to bed late and get up early. And actually it's quite good! I can MNet, read drivel online, read more books, knit, catch up on recorded tv without the guilt that I should be doing something more useful.

Also wondering if DH is really such scintillating company? It's nice to have time to do stuff on your own in peace imo.

Shellywelly1973 Fri 15-Nov-13 08:08:41

Bloody hell- I can't believe people spend this long in bed...8.30pm-5.30am?! Seriously?

How do you get everything done?

I get up at 6 am, 6 days a week. Im never ever in bed before 12/12.30am.

Thants Fri 15-Nov-13 08:26:27

If he's in why isn't he helping bath and put the kids to bed? Or cooking? Falling asleep on the sofa isn't good. Do something together instead of watching tv which makes you sleepy. When he wants to go to bed that's fine but napping on the sofa no.

Nagoo Fri 15-Nov-13 08:31:12

I don't understand why he has time to go to sleep while you are doing all the crap sorting tomorrow out. Give him some jobs, that will keep him awake.

TBH though, the peace and having what you want on the telly is some consolation in my eyes.

redskyatnight Fri 15-Nov-13 08:45:13

I'm the same as your DH. I need 8 hours sleep as a minimum or I am zombie like the next day. My DH only needs about 6 hours sleep so it is a constant gripe of his that I got to bed so early. I've tried staying up later, but it just means I'm doubly tired the next day.

I think you just need to accept that different people need different amounts of sleep. Also, I have to say that when I worked part time during school hours (like your routine now) and did "child" things before and after school, I found it much easier than working a full long day at work - there's something very mind-numbing about doing the same thing all day (even if it is "easy"), and actually having a bit of variety and being able to get "out" is more restful (I know I'll now get a whole host of people saying the opposite, but that might well be how your DH feels).

chinley Fri 15-Nov-13 11:03:41

I think you just need to accept that different people need different amounts of sleep

A very important point. We're all different. I have to take iron supplement so I can function without falling asleep in the daytime and I still need to top up with coffee throughout the day. I need 8 hours of early sleep and still wake up grumpy, whereas DH can bounce out of bed, fresh as a daisy, after getting to bed at 4am and having 5 hours. angry

I would love to be able to function on less sleep and not be constantly tired.

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