To feel hard done by in the tummy department(30 Posts)
Since having my DD (now 4) my tummy has been a complete disaster zone.
I had a big bump with her and got stretch marks, which I expected, but I did not expect to look like a grandmother forever more. I am 25. My tummy is wrinkled and saggy. I have lost nearly all of the baby weight (bar a few lbs) so nothing to report there. My tummy skin is as thin as paper and looks all doughy and weird.
I thought this was normal after having a baby, but went to the pool today and there were lots of mums, many with children younger than my DD, whose tummies look perfectly normal (stretchmarks or whatever aside, but they are smooth not like my wrinkly, saggy belly). My friend also once saw my tummy by accident and looked visibly shocked - she has a DD the same age and her tummy is normal.
I am ok with my post pregnancy body in nearly every way. I will never be the same shape - I have hips and thighs now despite being nearly the same weight. I have saggier boobs, strechmarks etc - all fine. So worth it for my DD.
But I am feeling hard done by and upset by my horrible, saggy stomach.
My children are now 11 and 8 and were big babies (9lbs & 9.9lbs) - I am 5'4" and a size 8-10. My tummy was so big when I was pregnant that I was frequently asked if I was having twins! I got stretchmarks (the silvery colour rather than the angry red ones) which I don't mind but I spent a few years hating my saggy tummy - with clothes on I looked asif my tummy was perfectly flat but I wouldn't wear a bikini as you could see the stretched saggy skin and I felt it looked horrible.....anyway, when I split with my husband I thought I would NEVER allow another man to see my naked tummy - until I met my now boyfriend & he actually loves it! It is a massive turn on for him (he's not weird, honest!) and he has made me realise that it makes me who I am & not to feel ashamed of my body for bearing my 2 lovely children I now wear bikinis with pride and love my tummy!! (I really never thought I would say that!) Hope this helps and you can see that maybe one day you will learn to love yours too
Nutcracker - there are exercises that help abdominal separation that you can google, the key is that they're usually the opposite of what you think you should do - for example crunches can make it WORSE if you're not doing them properly. I'd recommend them as they can really help.
Oh this happened to one of my sisters when she was in her early twenties. Now her DD is twelve she has accepted it. I know others who had the same prob. I was worried about it too.
I have heard of people getting it tightened up during subsequent c sections!
Someone else mentioned they don't like their PP boobs and I think you'll find that we all have things about our post baby bodies that are hard to accept. Try not to compare yourself to others though I know it's hard. Lots of people might have probs you can't see ie episiotomy or tearing scars and my Gynae Physio tells me about half of women have some degree of prolapse but most are unaware so you never know.
But ask your friends with nice tummies about their other bits, my tummy is ok, my boobs etc, not so much! It's something you have to find acceptance for, I hate my pp boobs, they are like a couple of empty dangly bits, but I do exercise and feeling generally fit and happy with life helps. All women have some baggage from dc, mental, physical or both. Also, not sure how many blokes spend any length of time admiring nice or otherwise tummies
My tummy is the worst amoung my friends too. Totally genetic I think as both my mum and her mum too were similar. I did pack on weight when pregnant but even as a skinny size 8 after dc2 my tummy was loose and wobbly. The worst thing for me is that its actually comfortable to sleep. I'm only a size 12 but when I lie in my side my tummy lies next to me. Its really very depressing.
I would advise you to carry on with the exercise - things like crunches, planks, anything that works the core.It can take years. I have had 3 children, was 5 stones overweight (mostly on the front) and have been working on my body for over 2 years.
Would I wear a bikini? No, at least not a low cut one. Do I see a significant improvement? Definitely.
If I was richer and vainer I would go for a tummy tuck, but I'm not.
I'm sure it is just genetic luck and down to the type of skin. I didn't have stretch marks at all and wondered why. But since, I've noticed that any accident I have had - cut, burn and also two ops on my knees - heal really quickly and the scars are so minimal you can hardly see them. So I'm sure it's how stretchy or pingy your skin is.
And in case you think this is a boast, on the other hand I have horrendous cellulite on the thighs!
Some you win, some you lose
I was left with crepey saggy skin post massive baby at the age of 21. I totally understand how you feel. It ruined my confidence for years. Only now I am in my fourties have I got used to it.
Its more common than we realise i think
I don't really have the money for surgery - it was a hypothetical 'one day' thought, and to be honest I don't feel that I'm necessarily 'done' having children either so it wouldn't be wise right now. Plus of course I have a DD to look after and so putting myself through 'unnecessary' surgery would be a big deal.
Thanks for making me feel a bit more normal. It does seem like the slimmer I get the worse it looks (and my boobs) which is a bit rubbish as my face looks wrong when I carry extra weight so I can't win!
I look like I have rail tracks laid round my navel in concentric circles
I'm slim.. still as 10 after 4 children but the stretch marks are dreadful and no amount of oiling etc made any difference. I think it is just genetic luck whether your skin can spring back.
I don't think I'd leap to surgery if you are planning more babies, but after that..if you can afford it..why not?! I have become accustomed to mine now.. (and I'm a lot older) but if someone could magically improve it I'd still say yes please!!
I liked looking at those pictures. It's all so normal. And I agree with prawntoast, it does seem to be genetic. Some mums I know don't have any pregnancy stretch marks.
I think it's due to how much collagen you have in your skin so it's genetic. Unfortunately all the toning exercise and creams won't make much of a difference. The vast majority of women don't snap back after pregnancy, I suspect most celebs book their tummy tuck at the same time as they book their c-section.
Don't be too hard on yourself, you've grown another human being in your body, that's amazing. I look at my DD, now nearly 13 and think "wow I did that".
In the past, apparently, if you were very obese, and then, through doc's advice, managed to loose your excess weight, you were entitled to treatment on the NHS to remove excess skin. Sadly i believe this is no longer the case. Which is very sad, i think. Folk are working hard to loose their weight and get fit - but are being left with large quantities of unsightly skin hanging, and without the means to get it fixed.
I am not surprised that if the NHS is no longer funding cosmetic op's for these folk, then they are also no longer funding op's for post birth tums
I've had two large babies, and although my bump both times was the right size for the number of weeks it was huge for me becuase I'm naturally pretty small. So, I think my skin simply became over stretched. It's never really gone back to how it was before. It looks better if I'm a bit bigger in the tummy area, but then my clothes look odd as I'm still my normal size everywhere else.
I'm a lot older than you which is probably why I don't really care. I wear a bikini on holiday as I've realised that no-one is looking at me, they are all too busy having a nice time on holiday!
I would think very carefully about having surgery though. It's expensive, and like all surgery it has risks and potential side-effects.
My friend had a tummy like the ones in the images and got fantastic results with a cross trainer. I wouldn't be in a hurry to get a tummy tuck, it's a major operation and recovery time can be lengthy.
The sooner women accept bodies change after child birth the better imo, of COURSE your body will be different after having a huge bump. Don't be so hard on yourself OP x
Reading this thread with interest
I don't have the crepey skin thank god... but DS2 is now 2.5 yrs old and I still look about 4 months pregnant
It was worse prior to regularly attending pilates classes. DS2 was around 2 years old and I still have people asking when my baby was due.
I have seen my GP and she said I have abdominal muscle separation, about 2 - 3 fingers width I think. She said abdominoplasty was my only option and very unlikely to be approved for treatment on the NHS.
I am thinking about conceiving number 3 and so am currently waiting until a third pregnancy [fingers crossed!] will do it's worst to my body and simultaneously trying to save some money for op later... I am in London, does anyone have a ball park figure how much it might cost? I am thinking £7k to £10k which is !
I know someone who had a tummy like this after she had her twins. She had a tummy tuck a few years later on the NHS. I'll ask her why it was NHS funded.
do you know if you are planning any more children?
I'm pregnant after a 10lber my tummy also looks like the linked pictures it doesn't look so bad now I'm pregnant (14 weeks) but I don't want to look like a pg woman forever.
I'm never going to be able to afford a tummy tuck.
I'm 26 and find it very hard too
After two mahoosive pregnancy tummies, my middle is ruined forever.
I am slim, but have a very crepey tummy that isn't going anywhere. I'm 39 and resigned to never wearing a bikini ever again. I'm fine with that, but would be gutted if I was 25, so much sympathy to you.
I'm afraid I agree, that surgery is probably your only option, if you hate it that much.
All the diet and exercise in the world cant mend over stretched skin
It only has so much elasticity in it, before the tissue breaks down, so to speak.
No idea why some women's tummies fair worse than others, unless it is literally down to how big they got when preg. Or possibly how big they were for how long?? Maybe stretchy 'ping back' skin is genetic, to some extent.
Anyway - if you can afford a tummy tuck, then go for it. Our culture's attitude to women's bodies post child birth sadly isn't going to change anytime soon.
Id rather be slim and have a crepey stomach like you than large and have the 'apron' of fat like me!!
Depends where you live re cost. In a reputable private hospital with excellent surgeons in my area (all BAAPS members, NHS consultants), it costs £5.5k.
Mine is worse! Stretch marks to my bra and an apron which almost hides my knickers! It's horrible, isn't it! Sadly I wont be affording a tummy tuck any time soon! I say go for it!
I've just had a hysterectomy with a spinal anaesthetic and complete sedation - it was like being asleep. I will have a TT with the same anaesthetic. I don't know yet how much it costs because I'm going to get fit before I have my consultation. I imagine about 7K though.
It has risks and needs to be very carefully considered. Your tummy won't be perfect afterwards. I don't need perfect. I just want to wear an ordinary pair of pants.
How much does a tummy tuck cost?
Do you have a general anaesthetic? (probably I guess)
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