Bit of background. I don't especially get on with MIL, I see her occasionally but mostly DH visits and I stay away wherever possible.
DD is 16, she's had health problems for the last 4 years which have resulted in her missing a lot of school. These have been backed up via Dr's and specialists and we have letters which prove her health issues, however time off is something we try and avoid unless she's really ill.
DH works some distance away. It's difficult, he leaves home at 7am and doesn't get back until 8pm. This means I get to be the one who the school call, write too and generally complain at. It's not an ideal situation but I thought that 'working together' we managed reasonably ok.
Right, the reason I'm furious.
DD started with a really nasty cough and cold last wednesday. Her throat was sore, she had a temperature and was generally sleepy. Because it was clear she was ill I had no choice but to keep her home from school. I wasn't happy about it because she needs to be there as much as possible but she was clearly ill enough that they would send her home if I sent her in. She spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in bed with fluids, paracetamol and rest (no net access etc during what would have been school time).
Saturday night she stayed with MIL. DH was to pick her up Sunday afternoon when MIL text him to say DD still wasn't well, had been up all night coughing and wouldn't be in school today she'd have thought. MIL asked if she should keep DD there overnight and DH could pick her up tonight. As FIL passed away a few months ago DD is company for her so I agreed, providing DD was genuinely still poorly.
DH went down to MIL's, saw DD and agreed she was ill and he'd pick her up tonight. This morning I spoke to the the school, explained she still had this cough/cold and I'd hoped she'd be in tomorrow.
DH just called me in his lunch hour and casually dropped in conversation that DD went to Alton Towers firework display last night. I am furious. We live locally to AT and a relative works there. Apparently DH had said yesterday that she could go. I wasn't consulted and the first I've heard about it is now. Apparently she stayed and watched from the office of the relative but the point is she was seemingly ok to get into the car, drive 5 miles to Towers, walk half a mile in the cold to this office, watch a display then go back to MIL's. I told DH that there was no way in the world I'd have agreed to this (and I think he knows that!) and I should have been consulted. He says 'sorry, next time he'll ask'.
My annoyance is that I have told the school this morning that DD is too ill to attend, there were thousands at AT last night. What if a staff member saw her? A classmate? And of course its me this comes back on because he's 70 miles away and the school contact me not him.
I was so annoyed with him at one point I threatened to write a letter to the school telling them that her Father had given permission to go to the display, I was unaware and that I personally consider today as an unauthorised absence and any further correspondence as to her attendance should be directed to DH. I have calmed down a little now.
He thinks I'm blowing all of this out of proportion, he's said he's sorry and that next time he'll consult me.
So MN, as i intend to show him this thread please be honest. AIBU?
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AIBU?
Furious, but AIBU?
68 replies
GhostsInSnow · 11/11/2013 13:37
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