to be very cross with a teenager who wouldn't get up for the remembrance service this morning

[Notmyidea]

And tell her she needs to give up guides as she can't meet her obligations?

[FortyDoorsToNowhere]

Is it her time of the month.

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

I would be cross that she had said she would be there and was too lazy to get up. That applies to anything really. Is it a regular thing that she does this? Is there a reason she wouldn't get up like was she up late last night?

I wouldn't ban her from guides but I would say that of this happens again you will remove her from the unit as she's letting down the other girls, the leaders, and the people from the church who I usually find make a lot of effort to include the girls.

[Vivacia]

You know, I think YABU. Her decision this morning is the result of years' of parenting and educating about what is significant about Remembrance Sunday.

[Notmyidea]

No, not her time of the month, and personally I wouldn't accept that as an excuse. I don't get out o work/making dinner when it's mine.

[HettiePetal]

Is under obligation to go to Remembrance Sunday?

You don't actually have to go and stand with a bunch of other people & take part in a service in order to "remember". I didn't.

[HettiePetal]

Is she

[cashmiriana]

Is it an obligation?
My DD is very very involved in Guiding as both leader and member.
She has never attended church on Remembrance Sunday. For various reasons - religious, social, political - she does not feel that she wishes to do so. Nobody has ever made a big deal out of it.

[Notmyidea]

She attends a unit which is supported by the church. They are expected to take part in the parade.

[Fleta]

If she has made a committment to already attend and didn't bother then I would be cross with her.

If she hasn't then YABU

[Freddiefrog]

I've had the same discussion with my 12 year old DD this morning.

She is a Scout and it is absolutely expected that you attend Remembrance Day parade as part of being a member of our Scout group. If they want to take part in all the fun stuff they do, then they have to take part in the less fun stuff too as well. It's one morning out of her life

My 8 year old Beaver has gone without all the fuss my eldest did

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

Absolutely. My scout DS is made to do the church events as well as the fun camping and hiking ones. He's not allowed to cherry pick.
All scout activities, or none.

[FortyDoorsToNowhere]

Yanbu then.

She made a commitment and she didn't go, letting down the other guides.

[heymacarena]

YANBU OP.

She is in Guides - and needs to s how up to form the parade.

DS was in Beavers, Cubs , Scout s - and many a time there were only a handful of members show up for parades. It is usually only a couple of hours out of their day.

[intitgrand]

Oh leave her alone! She has to get up early for school every week day which is hard for a teenager's body clock.

[chocoluvva]

YA probably NBU IMO. Do you know what time she got to sleep? Might she have been on her phone in her bed till very late?

[ll31]

Maybe she doesn't agree with it. Have you asked her why or just assumed she's lazy

[Tee2072]

"She has to get up early for school every week day which is hard for a teenager's body clock."

[heymacarena]

Well hopefully the Guiders will have words with those who didn't attend.

I know they always got a reminder in Scouts about the importance of these events- usually only two per year -St George's Day and Remembrance Sunday. It's not too much to ask.

[BettyBotter]

As a parent of 2 atheist ex Scouts I'm on the fence on this one. My policy was to allow my dss to be 'away' on Church parade weekends. I didn't really see why they had to follow the religious doctrines of the C of E in order to be good Scouts.

What are her reasons? (Moral or laziness?)

[LtEveDallas]

DD (8) had an active part of the Remembrance Service this year as a Brownie. Her troop were standing at the front, reading the names of the men of the village who were killed on active service. DD named one from WWI and someone she 'knew' (father of a school friend) who was killed last year. It was very emotional. Had she not have gone she would have let down the rest of the Brownie Troop, all of whom count on each other being there.

I am very proud of all the girls, 6-8 years old, that were well behaved, clear and solemn as the occasion warranted.

I agree with you OP. If DD had tried this, I would have stopped Brownies immediately (assuming she doesn't pay her own subs, trickier if she does) If you make a commitment, you stick to it.

[ReallyTired]

Do you normally go to church?

I don't think that anyone should be bullied into going to church in 2013. People died to give freedom to people to choose not to go to church.

However if your daughter does not want to go to church with guides then prehaps she needs to join a secular organisation instead.

[intitgrand]

Teenagers need more sleep (9 hours) and due to their hormonal mayhem have difficulty producing melatonin (the sleep hormone) until much later in the evening than adults typically 1am as opposed to adults 10pm

[ilovesooty]

So getting up early is hard for her body clock. Boo hoo. She had, by the sound of it committed to being there. I'd be disgusted with her.

[Nerfmother]

People died to give freedom to people to choose not to go to church.

How convenient. Op she's actually making a well considered and political choice.