To think that trapping your dp into pregnancy is shocking?

(130 Posts)
annabanana84 Sat 09-Nov-13 13:34:42

I'm having issues with dp at the moment. I'm 29, he's 43 and we've been together over 3 years. We have lived together for all of this time. I have uterine fibroids and have become very broody. I realise that because of my illness and ages of me and dp, time is against us. I've just had my coil out in the view that dp and I can start ttc but he's now retracted and decided we should save up over the course of a year or so before we start ttc. To say I'm bloody disappointed is an understatement. I've been thinking about leaving dp because I'm so desperate for a baby, but we are slowly working through this and I've accepted that I have to wait til dp is ready.

I've confided my problems with a few friends and both of their solutions really shocked me. They both suggested pricking holes into condoms. I could never do that! When I have a baby with dp, I want it to be the right time for both of us! Also, dp would never forgive me if he found out!

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 14-Nov-13 05:16:24

What Thumwitch said. Absolutely.

LovesBeingHereAgain Thu 14-Nov-13 05:32:08

I would love a baby and the more I think about his behaviour, the more I think what a pathetic father he'd make.

please take steps to make sure you do not get pregnant if this is now how you view him

mewmeow Thu 14-Nov-13 07:19:31

Yanbu. It really wouldn't be a great start to life for anyone would it? And you would have to live with it your whole life sad
Do understand your desperation though, I suppose your mates only have your interests at heart but haven't thought it through. I'm sure you'd all end up much happier to wait until you're both ready. Good luck!

Tulip26 Thu 14-Nov-13 07:22:22

I think even if you do trap him or it happens by accident, he'll accuse you of it anyway.

Inertia Fri 15-Nov-13 06:58:27

Thumbwitch makes a very important point. A man who controls his partner by dangling the possibility of children and then going back on his word will rejoice in the possibility of using a child to control you - he would mess you around in terms of money and access arrangements ; worst of all he would mess the child around.

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