I'd like to ask people not to use the word 'Aspie'.

(174 Posts)
DavyCrockett Wed 06-Nov-13 10:45:50

I find it really offensive.

To me it is like calling someone with Downs Syndrome a 'Downie'.

Am I being unreasonable? I ask as it seems acceptable in a lot of places and I honestly don't think it is.

UriGeller Wed 06-Nov-13 10:49:05

Wow that's a new one. Seeing as many people with Asbergers Syndrome tend to describe themselves as "Aspie" I don't think its worth getting yourself stressed out about.

However, I recognise your right to be offended.

CeliaLytton Wed 06-Nov-13 10:50:49

I know of at least 3 parents of a child with aspergers who refer to their child as 'aspie' I wouldn't use the word in case someone found it offensive but I think it is up to my friends how thy refer to their own children. They use it in a really affectionate way btw.

DavyCrockett Wed 06-Nov-13 10:51:22

Thanks.

I know lots of people use it about their own condition (I don't) and have no objection to others using it. This is part of the question. Am I right still to find it offensive and not want it used to describe anyone with a condition I suffer from?

Also I'm sure people are aware that social/racial groups calling themselves something is a different thing to other people calling them it.

chocoluvva Wed 06-Nov-13 10:51:33

Interesting. I know people diagnosed with AS who refer to themselves as doing 'aspie' things etc too.

misspontypine Wed 06-Nov-13 10:51:56

I have only ever read the word aspie when parents talk abot their own children.

I think that parents have the right to use whatever words they want to talk about their child.

I think that it is more important to think about the intent behind the use of words, have you heared people using the word aspie negatively?

chocoluvva Wed 06-Nov-13 10:52:16

x-posted with you OP. Sorry.

All the people I know who refer to their child as an "aspie" do so affectionately, imo

WestieMamma Wed 06-Nov-13 10:55:08

I use 'aspie' all the time and don't mind when other aspies do the same, whether thats to to describe themselves, me or other aspies . I do find it offensive when a non-aspie uses it though. I couldn't tell you why it's different, it just is.

DavyCrockett Wed 06-Nov-13 10:55:15

Calling your own child a 'Downie' would be considered odd though, would it not?

Or is that ok because it would be 'affectionate'? Genuinely, no offence intended Celia.

SigmundFraude Wed 06-Nov-13 10:55:48

I understand that you find the term offensive, but I don't particularly. And the list of things that I'm not allowed to say is becoming silly. So, YABU.

DavyCrockett Wed 06-Nov-13 10:56:10

Westie because it is describing someone by their condition.

It could very very easily be used pejoratively by others

LessMissAbs Wed 06-Nov-13 10:57:53

The Aspergers Support group I volunteered with had several AS members who referred to themselves as "aspies". Would you like to tell them they cannot refer to their own condition how they choose?

MOIST Wed 06-Nov-13 10:58:05

DD2 has aspergers. I hate it too.

She is not An Aspie. She is a person.

MOIST Wed 06-Nov-13 10:58:38

She also hates it.

CeliaLytton Wed 06-Nov-13 10:58:56

I think calling your own child a 'downie' would be considered odd because nobody does (as far as I am aware), but if I heard someone with a child with downs refer to them in this way affectionately, or used it to refer to their own condition, I would not find it offensive, no.

Vatta Wed 06-Nov-13 10:59:19

My brother uses it to describe himself, I've never seen it as negative - it's just a shorthand.

Not sure why you find it offensive to be honest, it's not being used negatively.

A lot of people with aspergers think of their condition as just being a different way of experiencing/looking at the world, ie not a disability or automatically a problem. It's like referring to blondes rather than "people with blonde hair", ie just an easy way to describe a group if that makes sense?

MOIST Wed 06-Nov-13 10:59:42

Spaz anyone?

Mong?

CloudBursting Wed 06-Nov-13 11:02:05

My DH refers to himself as 'aspie'. He likes it and has no objection to other people using the term to describe him.

SilverApples Wed 06-Nov-13 11:02:40

I only ever use it when referring to my two, as it is the term that they chose themselves and use. I would not use it to describe another individual on the spectrum unless it was their preference.
You are at liberty to find it offensive, but not at liberty to dictate how my children refer to themselves.

Is your problem "Hi this is my Aspie son, Eric" or "Hi this is my son Eric. He is Aspie" or both?

Or is it the change from He has Aspergers to he is aspie?

I only hear aspie as a affectionate term used by the person or family.

gamerchick Wed 06-Nov-13 11:03:40

I'm with Sigmund. If something offends you then I recognise that as your right. It's not something I choose to be offended by.

I get people tying themselves up In knots when talking to me about my son.. searching for the 'right' words so I'm not offended (I never am).. its ridiculous.

CeliaLytton Wed 06-Nov-13 11:04:11

MOIST I would hope that if your daughter hates the term that people would have the good manners not to use it with her. I think it is a word which can have positive or negative connotations depending on how it is used.

tabulahrasa Wed 06-Nov-13 11:04:50

I don't use it, I don't like it for exactly the reason you've said...however, I know people with AS who like it and use it about themselves - I don't have the right to be offended by that when someone wants to use it to describe themself.

DavyCrockett Wed 06-Nov-13 11:04:56

'it's not being used negatively'

It may well be being used negatively by many people, children included, outside of your/our experience. I don't know. It certainly has the potential to be used negatively.

'A lot of people with aspergers think of their condition as just being a different way of experiencing/looking at the world, ie not a disability or automatically a problem.'

So do a lot of people with Downs.

' Would you like to tell them they cannot refer to their own condition how they choose?'

In the same way I would not seek to tell a black person that 'nigger' was a word they should not use, no.

However the use of 'Aspie' by anyone makes me uncomfortable if I am honest

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