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AIBU?

To be fed up of people implying I'm lying?

65 replies

CeliaLytton · 06/11/2013 08:39

This comes up time and time again regarding sleep. People ask me when my DC started to sleep through the night, so I tell them. I get incredulous looks and asked how I did it and I can tell they don't believe me.

I don't wear a sign round my neck, I am never smug about it, we didn't do anything, we were just lucky. But why does nobody believe babies can't sleep 12 hours at 6 months?

I get that when people say this, they are trying to make parents of non sleepers feel better. But my DC were much later than average to walk, talk, crawl, pretty much everything. I didn't expect anyone to say, 'oh, those people who said their children walked at 14 months are lying, they just can't remember'

I am always full of sympathy over lack of sleep, it is a killer. But my DC did sleep through, luck of the draw, and I am not bloody lying!

(I know I am unreasonable to care, but I wouldn't mind if more people said it's not the norm, or it's just luck, but to imply that every single parent with a sleeping child is lying seems not to be the right way to go about it)

OP posts:
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2tiredtoScare · 06/11/2013 08:42

I believe you, they probably need to think its a lie for their own sanity IYSWIM!

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MidniteScribbler · 06/11/2013 08:45

DS slept through the night pretty early on, except for a few bouts when he was sick or teething. But I get called nasty names if you tell anyone that. It's like you can't really be a proper parent unless you suffer from sleeplessness.

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GiveMeStrength2day · 06/11/2013 08:47

My DD would have slept through from birth were it not for me having to wake her/give her the 4-hourly feeds through the night! I didn't dare tell any other parents Grin

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TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 06/11/2013 08:49

How odd. Plenty of babies sleep well, surely (albeit they're undoubtedly in the minority!)? My first was a brilliant sleeper and would would happily do 8 hours by 6 weeks. My second ... didn't sleep through the night until she was 8 YEARS OLD!

Some people are just miserable - take no notice and be grateful!

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2tiredtoScare · 06/11/2013 08:49

My first two slept through the third one doesn't. It just varies from child to child

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icingmyback · 06/11/2013 08:50

i don't know whether you are lying or not, but in my most sleep deprived moments i would not want to talk to you! nothing personal, it's just, as you say, sleep deprivation is a killer, and when you've had 2 years of never getting more than 1.5 hour blocks you are not in the mood to listen stories like yours.

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TheFabulousIdiot · 06/11/2013 08:50

I believe you. You are just lucky.

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QueenArseClangers · 06/11/2013 08:51

When people said to me that their babies were walking at 9 months I used to smile and nod politely (expecting their claims to be slighty false) as my first 3 DC were all around 12/13 months.
DS3 crawled at 5.5 months and was walking at 9 months. I shit myself!

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WorraLiberty · 06/11/2013 08:52

I could understand their reaction if you were talking about 6 weeks.

But why would they accuse you of lying at 6 months? Confused

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Ragwort · 06/11/2013 08:52

I believe you, my DS always slept really well from 7am-7pm (with one quick feed until about 8 months) from the day we bought him back from hospital Grin. I was very strict about routines.

There's really nothing you can say to make people believe you, some people just like to be competitive about the lack of sleep Grin.

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TheFabulousIdiot · 06/11/2013 08:52

'But why does nobody believe babies can't sleep 12 hours at 6 months?'

Not sure this makes sense.

Further to my previous post... I think you are VERY lucky if all your children have done this. Perhaps it's because they all have that people don't believe you.

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Lizzylou · 06/11/2013 08:52

Mine were both sleeping through by 6/8 weeks. They have always been early risers though, ds1 used to wake at 5am when he was 1/2 yrs old. No matter what time he went to bed.
I love having to wake them up now Grin

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Lilicat1013 · 06/11/2013 08:53

My oldest slept through the night from ten weeks old. My youngest from about three months (he is a nightmare with naps though).

Both put themselves on a routine where they go to bed early as wake early but they are still doing twelve hours.

Like you I wouldn't mention it unless people ask as a lot of people struggle with their child not sleeping. I do think it is a luck thing.

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AlmostMrsRobinson · 06/11/2013 08:54

I got called a fuckin bitch horrible name by a woman in a pub toilet who over herd me saying that DD slept through since around 6 months. Not sure why, but she was steaming drunk so I hope she wasnt off home for another sleepless night with her own!

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Joysmum · 06/11/2013 08:55

I get similar when asked how my daughter was out of nappies day and night so early.

I've learnt to soften it by ending with the fact that she was much later than others at counting and so it's just luck of the draw. Not had a problem since then and find it reassures others rather than making them react negatively.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 06/11/2013 08:55

I believe you. Both mine were younger than that. It was only when I joined MN that I heard about all these babies waking frequently fir years. All my friends babies were three -4 months too.

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2tiredtoScare · 06/11/2013 08:56

I'm totally sleep deprived and it is like torture some days so I would never ask anyone how much their baby slept in case I heard a good news tale that would push me over the edge! If someone forces their sleep through stories on you on the other hand well woe betide them Grin

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DontmindifIdo · 06/11/2013 08:56

See, I felt with DS I had to hide the fact he slept well, he would go from 7pm through until 5am then 6am from about 10 weeks. I realised other mothers seemed to believe me more when I told them he stopped sleeping at around 5months...

Oh and the early walkers Queen - one of my NCT class had a little girl who was walking by 10 months, it was really odd at toddler groups, some mothers of older DCs would question how old she was and act like they thought her mum was lying that this little girl couldn't possibly be under 1 and be running around. (she got fast quick, I did feel sorry for her mum!)

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SoleSorceress · 06/11/2013 08:57

I only made the 'mistake' once of telling another Mother of how I used to have to set my alarm clock.for 3am each night as DS would sleep 18 hours per day.

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echt · 06/11/2013 08:57

As posted elsewhere, DD slept through from about 3 months. She just did. That meant about 6.30 to 6.30. but I've aways been an early riser, so no probs.

I did love those grown-up evenings; time to relax.

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WinterOfOurDiscontent · 06/11/2013 08:57

I believe you dc2 slept 10 hrs from 4 weeks old. Now 10.5 weeks and doing 11 hrs continually. Dc1 used to wake every 2 hrs til 6 months.

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sashh · 06/11/2013 08:58

But why does nobody believe babies can't sleep 12 hours at 6 months?

My mother would believe you. Apparently I was sleeping through within a week.

At the time I think she was only believed because her cousin came round early on a Sunday morning and everyone was still asleep, including 8 day old me.

Why do people think you are a lier - envy? Because they lied about it? Because they believe it is a sign that their own parenting is not perfect?

Who knows?

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candycoatedwaterdrops · 06/11/2013 09:00

YANBU.

A friend of mine had a baby that slept long periods of time since she (the baby obv) was a newborn. It just happens that way. My mum said she used to regularly take me to the doctor because she was worried how much I was sleeping. She brags that she was the only person she knows who got to lie in till 10 am with a baby under a year old.

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2tiredtoScare · 06/11/2013 09:02

I think it's envy, I know I'm Envy. When my DD's slept through I thought it was down to my perfect routine but now I've got a non sleeper on the same routine I'm not so sure

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FeckOffCup · 06/11/2013 09:08

It's swings and roundabouts really, my DD was sleeping around 8 hours at night from 6 weeks old but puked most of her milk back up at every feed and still has eating issues at 2.11.

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