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AIBU to think DD should be Star of the sodding Day?

(106 Posts)
PFBoftheDay Tue 05-Nov-13 18:16:52

I know I am, and I have n/c because I am probably being embarrassingly PFB.

DD is 6, and there are 21 children in her class. Her teacher does something called 'Star of the Day', which is,as far as I can gather, where the child who has been 'the goodest' all day, gets a star sticker and a prize (bouncy ball,sweets or bubbles) at hometime.

This has been an everyday occurrence from the start of the year, and DD was naturally desperate to be SotD and a bit disappointed when she wasn't. I, naturally, told her that she would have to keep trying, that the teacher would notice good behaviour, etc etc.

Just before school broke up for half term, and in the last few days she has started back, she has been getting really, really upset about it. There are a few children who have been SotD more than once, and on one occasion, a boy in the class who struggles with his behaviour got it, even though he hit another boy in the playground that day (though this is according to DD). I know the teacher was probably trying to encourage his good behaviour rather than discouraging him (and rightly so) and I explained this to DD.

However, today she came home in tears, because a girl who was horrible to DD and her friends at breaktime today (they told the teacher etc) got SotD. This girl can be very bossy and controlling and does put the other children's backs up at times. DD now basically thinks that the children who misbehave are getting rewarded.

I do think I see what the teacher is trying to do, and the reasoning behind it, but I feel this is really unfair on DD. She is a very well behaved child, we had Parent Teacher evening a few weeks ago and everything was positive. She works hard- she is very ahead in her reading & writing- and is as friendly and polite as you can expect of a 6 year old. The only thing she did struggle with was forgetting to put her hand up before answering a question, but she has tried really hard to remember, and at Parent Teacher, I asked about it specifically and her teacher said she had no problems.

I know I am being PFB, but she is quite a sensitive little thing, and I feel awful that she is trying so hard and getting so disheartened.

ProphetOfDoom Wed 13-Nov-13 20:30:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProphetOfDoom Wed 13-Nov-13 20:42:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Wed 13-Nov-13 21:51:31

My dd is well behaved in class and tries really hard, yet she has had only 5 stickers since she started school. Not been star of the week yet or star of the day.

I hope she doesn't start misbehaving just to get this.

Op I'm glad your PFB is now happy smile

Goldmandra Wed 13-Nov-13 22:15:45

what on earth did you say?

I let that one go. It was the end of the year and I knew it I wouldn't make a difference to her last couple of weeks. It was one of a lot of issues I raised that year and subsequently.

She did get one quite early in the next school year from her new teacher and was really made up smile

TBH, by the time she left I was glad to see the back of the place.

She's in a lovely school now who are really good at reward systems (and everything else).

Lilacroses Wed 13-Nov-13 22:18:19

Really happy to hear this OP! Bet your Dd was thrilled. Still loathe this sort of reward thing though. The quieter, constantly well behaved ones always feel overlooked.

Goldmandra Wed 13-Nov-13 22:21:40

The sad thing is that this is so easily addressed.

When working in pre-schools and nurseries I have always made a point, when praising a child for unusually good behaviour, of choosing another, whose behaviour is consistently good, to praise alongside them.

It's very easy given a little thought.

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