Dispute. DH, the dogs, diahorrea and AIBU?

(36 Posts)
DowntonTrout Sun 03-Nov-13 20:14:17

Our 2 dogs live mainly in the kitchen/diner area of the house, and are outside in the gardens a lot of the time. They are not allowed in the rest of the house.

Last night they were frightened and scratching at the internal hall doorway because of the fireworks. I let them into the living room with us. Tonight was the same. They are terribly noise sensitive and were hyperventillating.i went upstairs and heard DH shouting at them telling them to go to their beds. We then had an argument.

DH says it is my fault they are scratching the door because I let them through to the living room. I said no, they were scratching because they were scared and I let them into the living room because of that. Anyway he sent them back to the kitchen and one of them has had diahorrea all over the floor and wet everywhere. They are able to get outside, they just didn't because they were terrified of the loud bangs.

Next week they won't be bothered about coming through. I know this because they are 8yo and it is the same story every year.i am very cross with DH and I told him so. I made him come and clean up their "protest" poo. We are now not speaking. AIBU?

liquidstate Sun 03-Nov-13 23:15:53

Will I be shot down for saying my dog is not allowed beyond the kitchen and utility room? He even sleeps outside all year round. He is not allowed on the furniture and definitely not upstairs. He is at work all day with my farmer husband and seems happy enough apart from at this time of the year when the fireworks are happening.

He is 12 years old and we have tried everything to desensitise him to the fireworks. Nothing works. I now build a den each year in the utility room and he goes inside it and shakes for hours. We don't put him out in his kennel unless he has stopped shaking. If he was shaken up so badly he has an accident - thats no big deal to me as its not done on purpose. Fortunately no indoor accidents so far.

OP - I think your DH was BU to shout at them.

YANBU

Our lab quivers and pants when the fireworks are on. She is not normally allowed upstairs - yesterday she crept up whilst we were putting the DCs to bed. Her whole body screamed fear.

We told her to go back down - she did about 3 steps down and then crept back up. We pretended not to see her for then length of time it took me to extricate myself from the bedtime routine and I went down with her. She is still not happy when with us but at least she does not shake.

Tonight I persuaded DH he could do bedtime and I would stay down with the dog and drink wine We will do this until fireworks are over.

Oh and I love my dog but she has never been allowed on the furniture or upstairs.

Slubberdegullion Sun 03-Nov-13 22:16:33

For next year can you find out when the big house will be having their fireworks and maybe get a sedative from the vet for that night?

festered Sun 03-Nov-13 22:06:50

YANBU.
Most dogs are terrified of fireworks. He's being an ass.

DowntonTrout Sun 03-Nov-13 21:54:01

Yes neeps he did say better in here ( the kitchen) than in the other room. The twat.

I'm in the kitchen watching Downton Abbey. The tv is usually on in the background in here, even when we're elsewhere in the house. The dogs like it.

We have never had a crate, but I will look into that, thank you.

It's next door, in the big house (the really big house) who have the fireworks. There is no further away really.

I think you are very lucky that your DH didn't use the diarrhoea as justification of why he was in the right not to let them into the living room. Mine would have!

ReluctantBeing Sun 03-Nov-13 21:38:52

Have you tried putting a radio on in the kitchen for them? One of my dogs is petrified at this time of year. He has moved into a cupboard.

HandbagCrazy Sun 03-Nov-13 21:36:30

PS i love my dogs too but they're not allowed upstairs

HandbagCrazy Sun 03-Nov-13 21:34:58

Terriers ears are so sensitive that firework bangs can hurt them rather than frighten them, so your dh is being u for shouting. You are, however, both being U to not have a plan in place for this.
If you have a cage/crate, put a blanket over most of it, in a room with you, as far away from the noise as you can get. I do this with mine. The blanket makes them feel safe and having you close is reassurance for them. Also, the bangs will be muffled if they're in a room with normal noise in the background (radio / tv and talking). For their sakes, please try this x

WaitMonkey Sun 03-Nov-13 21:34:46

I don't think your coming across as a Mrs.Bucket type. Are people with big houses not allowed on MN ? You didn't talk about it in a show off way.

LEMisafucker Sun 03-Nov-13 21:33:55

Good - just make DH sit in the kitchen instead <after he has cleaned up the shit>

Wonders if I can come to tea

DowntonTrout Sun 03-Nov-13 21:30:51

Look I'm coming across all hyacinth Bucket now! See what you've done.

The dogs are sat with me.

WaitMonkey Sun 03-Nov-13 21:29:42

Glad they are with you now. Hope the fireworks stop soon for them soon.

WaitMonkey Sun 03-Nov-13 21:28:33

It's not about how much space they have access to, its about them not being allowed to sit with you of an evening. Dogs like companionship. sad

DowntonTrout Sun 03-Nov-13 21:28:16

No we don't have ponies. See I knew it would go this way if I said much about the house.

So I have more than one sitting room. As a family we spend nearly all our time in the family/living/kitchen/diner. I'm here now. With my dogs. They are not on my knee, they don't come in the bedrooms either. It doesn't mean I don't love them, or that they are treated badly. But as they are terriers through and through they spend a lot of time digging in the garden, so no, they do not get to sit on the furniture or to scratch the floors in the music room. I hardly ever sit in there either. I prefer the kitchen too. DH is a bit anal about them being animals though and I think he needs to loosen up a bit.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Sun 03-Nov-13 21:23:16

Poor little buggers sad

My little dog was ill and had diaorreah in the living room while I was out. He looked so sad and guilty when I got home but it wasn't his fault so even though it was horrendous to clean I would never shout or tell him off.

I agree that dogs are family and should be with you , not shut in the kitchen

LEMisafucker Sun 03-Nov-13 21:16:22

Ohhh do you ahve room for a pony? So they aren't even big dogs - i love my dogs, i love them sitting on my lap in the evening, in fact that is where one of my boys is just now, curled up on my lap - hes a terrier too, and at bed time, he will be in my bed, the other one chooses the floor, he doesn't like when we fidget. i don't think its the size of the areas they are allowed in, its being with you - but hey, maybe im just over sentimental, i love my dogs very much as much as my children

DowntonTrout Sun 03-Nov-13 21:11:40

They are with me nearly all the time. They follow me around all day. They are just not allowed in the, to put it bluntly, the proper sitting room. It is a big house and the areas they are allowed in are very large, believe me. I didn't really want to say but we have a rambling, old house with gardens which are fully enclosed. Its in a small village, countryside really. I'm sure lots of people don't let their dogs into the smart room.

They are also only small dogs. But not lap dogs by any means. Terriers.

WaitMonkey Sun 03-Nov-13 21:06:06

Those poor dog's. I feel so sad that there not allowed to sit with you of an evening. This has really made me sad. You are both U. sad

Yonididnaedaethat Sun 03-Nov-13 21:00:48

I'm with Gordys as well, and I hope things go better on the 5th.

Poor dogs!

DENMAN03 Sun 03-Nov-13 20:59:13

Poor dogssad why have them if they can't be with you in the living room?

WooWooOwl Sun 03-Nov-13 20:56:58

YANBU, and your DH is being mean.

furbaby Sun 03-Nov-13 20:54:42

I am with gordyslovesheep are they not house dogs ?
Seems odd that they have such limited amount of house space .
To shout at them when they are scared is, nt going to help much .
Good for you for making him clean it up , I hope he didn,t make them feel bad for doing it sad

LEMisafucker Sun 03-Nov-13 20:53:16

YAbothBU - why the fuck do you have dogs if you don't allow them to actually be with you?

FannyFifer Sun 03-Nov-13 20:52:53

Your dogs were so scared they shit on the floor?
Poor things, you and your husband are both unreasonable.

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