To rigidly refuse to speak to MIL?

(98 Posts)
3MenAndMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:10:42

I love reading MIL related treads and it looks like its my turn(thought it will never happen grin...)So....
Couple of weeks ago was on Skype with her after long awaited call(we normally call each other everyday and shenis the only person I talk to as have very strained relationship with my parents, but that's another story).
1 minute into the call and admiring DGS her neighbour burst in, barely glances at us and completely ignoring me, bothering my MIL about some problems with inserting batteries (neighbour lives in opposite flat, same block for last 30 years....)...
No problem with this but my MIL says to me "Sorry, we will catch up later...bla, bla, bla" and leaves...
I'm still really hurt and not speaking to her since....Forgave her many things in the past, including chucking DH and me out when heavily pregnant with 20 mo from the flat we were previously happily sharing(I later found out that she wanted a bit of peace,leaving me and unemployed DH with no roof over our heads)....
Should I swallow my pride or stick to my guns...
,

digerd Sun 03-Nov-13 16:18:51

OP
Your MIL has had to live close to this PITA neighbour for 30 years, I know as have one next door. Everybody puts her first and panders to her to get her off their backs and keep her sweet. I think this is how it is for your MIL.
The neighbour had barged in and was demanding help from your MIL in her flat, of course she had to deal with her there and then.

If I had been you I would have liked MIL to have spoken to her neighbour with a sharp tone of voice that she was skyping with her DIL and GC and she would have to wait for her help.

The neighbour probably said it was very urgent and couldn't wait.
Don't let it upset you.

gobbynorthernbird Sun 03-Nov-13 16:25:24

Wow. Just wow.
I'd better call my mum back immediately as she phoned earlier when I was peeling spuds. Don't want to be disinherited.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 16:36:47

OP I think you are being unreasonable about this incident but it looks like perhaps to you this is the straw that broke the camels back? People will probably still say YABU about this issue but they may be able to give you sympathy and advice about the other issues with your MIL that lead you to feel so hurt by her- it sounds like there's a lot of backstory.

Bearbehind Sun 03-Nov-13 16:39:48

OMG, do you really think that your MIL apologising that she had to end a Skype call to deal with someone who was actually in the room, is even close to being on a par with some of the truly terrible MIL threads you have read?

On the face if it, if you over react to such an extent about something so trivial, and then think the world is against you if they tell you that you are BU, you might want to look a bit closer into why your reationship with your own parents, or anyone else for that matter, is so strained.

tracypenisbeaker Sun 03-Nov-13 16:44:24

Some big meanies on this thread!

Simmer.

HotDogSlaughter Sun 03-Nov-13 16:44:56

Good God you are a nightmare.

cjel Sun 03-Nov-13 16:45:15

DIGERD > Are you serious?

phantomnamechanger Sun 03-Nov-13 16:48:39

probably the neighbour did not even know what Skype is and that you could see/hear her. FWIW I'm with everyone else, this is a total non event and a massive over reaction.

It is normal and polite to put real life first, eg it is rude to take a non-urgent mobile phone call when you are supposed to be spending time with someone else.

This was a couple of weeks ago and you have not spoken since. Who usually initiates your regular contact? Have you fobbed her off or not answered the phone etc? Or has she not bothered trying to contact you? Maybe MIL is enjoying the break!

DameEdnasBridesmaid Sun 03-Nov-13 16:51:47

MIL is probably starting her own thread about how she has to walk on eggshells with DIL in case she takes offence.

Seriously OP you should get over yourself.

phantomnamechanger Sun 03-Nov-13 16:55:21

Oh god, this is not a reverse thread is it? neighbour came to OPs and MIL is the huffy one?

silverten Sun 03-Nov-13 17:05:34

Sorry but I also think cutting all contact for this is rather over the top.

It was a bit rude of neighbour and MIL but doesn't justify refusing to speak ever again.

I would have found it irritating, though, had it been me. This sort of situation is why my DH doesn't phone his mum much, and why we refuse to get set up with Skype, much to her (vocally expressed) disgust. It is incredibly hard work to have a sensible conversation with her on the phone as she only gives about forty percent of her attention to it, but gets really huffy if she thinks we aren't hanging on her every word. We generally use text or email instead which keeps things more focused.

mitchsta Sun 03-Nov-13 17:41:24

Massive overreaction. Someone else said you sound like you're high maintenance and I'm inclined to agree.

xCupidStuntx Sun 03-Nov-13 17:47:32

YABU

ferretyfeet Sun 03-Nov-13 18:24:24

what on earth do you find to talk about every day

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Sun 03-Nov-13 18:39:38

Looks like the OP is now rigidly refusing to talk to MN too. I bet she's added you all to a list.

People I Am Rigidly Refusing to Speak To:

- Parents
- MIL
- MIL's Neighbour
- Woman who looked at me funny in the supermarket
- The whole of Mumsnet

DameEdnasBridesmaid Sun 03-Nov-13 18:45:02

Saskia grin grin

littlecloud Sun 03-Nov-13 18:49:01

That's what I was thinking ferret my MIL lives 10 minutes away and we really get on well but only talk maybe once or twice a week and not at any time in great length. I'll happily pop over and spend a few hours with her but not every week.

LovesBeingHereAgain Sun 03-Nov-13 18:54:26

Oh op it must hurt to be rejected by someone whom you are so heavily invested in. I think you need to get out and meet people rather than staying in for mil to call

phantomnamechanger Sun 03-Nov-13 18:55:44

I wonder if the poor MIL is on gransnet worrying about why she is in the doghouse!

phantomnamechanger Sun 03-Nov-13 18:56:51

Actually, I have just realised this reminds me of playground tiffs - "you can't play with me anymore because you spoke to X and I don't like her!"

YouTheCat Sun 03-Nov-13 19:01:31

It is a silly non-event to fall out over.

Why is your relationship with your own parents strained?

gobbynorthernbird Sun 03-Nov-13 19:02:28

Saskia lololol

Famzilla Sun 03-Nov-13 19:18:02

Haha. Wtf.

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