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To rigidly refuse to speak to MIL?

(98 Posts)
3MenAndMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:10:42

I love reading MIL related treads and it looks like its my turn(thought it will never happen grin...)So....
Couple of weeks ago was on Skype with her after long awaited call(we normally call each other everyday and shenis the only person I talk to as have very strained relationship with my parents, but that's another story).
1 minute into the call and admiring DGS her neighbour burst in, barely glances at us and completely ignoring me, bothering my MIL about some problems with inserting batteries (neighbour lives in opposite flat, same block for last 30 years....)...
No problem with this but my MIL says to me "Sorry, we will catch up later...bla, bla, bla" and leaves...
I'm still really hurt and not speaking to her since....Forgave her many things in the past, including chucking DH and me out when heavily pregnant with 20 mo from the flat we were previously happily sharing(I later found out that she wanted a bit of peace,leaving me and unemployed DH with no roof over our heads)....
Should I swallow my pride or stick to my guns...
,

coffeeinbed Sun 03-Nov-13 14:13:15

I can see there's history, but what this call is concerned you are overreacting.

IslaValargeone Sun 03-Nov-13 14:14:45

Seems rather a daft thing to fall out over given the other things you have mentioned.

trinity0097 Sun 03-Nov-13 14:14:56

In my opinion 'real life' comes before phone calls/Skype, e.g. If the doorbell went when I was on the phone I would apologise, hang up and deal with the door.

NachoAddict Sun 03-Nov-13 14:15:27

I think you are being unreasonable, I don't understand the problem.

Ingles2 Sun 03-Nov-13 14:15:47

Totally over reacting... What other choice did your mil have than to deal with the rude neighbour?
Can't believe you're not speaking to her over this quite frankly.

MammaTJ Sun 03-Nov-13 14:16:56

You forgave her for throwing you out, but don't feel you can overcome this?

Under-reaction on the first, over reaction on the second!

Moreisnnogedag Sun 03-Nov-13 14:16:57

Hang on. You normally speak to your mil everyday (so presume get one well), her neighbour came, she apologised and said she'd call you back.

And now you're not talking to her?? I think it might be you that needs to apologise...

MamaTJ has it in a nutshell. Is it leftover anger that you haven't dealt with?

SanityClause Sun 03-Nov-13 14:18:31

If you speak every day, what difference does it make if this one particular call was cut short?

I think you're over-reacting, based on this one incident.

ilikemysleep Sun 03-Nov-13 14:18:42

Why so hurt? She was kind of forced into that situation by the rather rude neighbour who barged in and didn't say 'oh sorry I see you are busy' but persisted in making demands of her.

I phoned my Mum the other day, her neighbour came round while we were talking, so she asked if she could just deal with him and call me back later. Which she did. This happens all the time, doesn't it? My partner is always calling his Mum when she is eating and she says 'I will phone back after supper', and she does. Other than the fact that you had vision b/c you were on skype, this was exactly the same scenario which it had never occurred to me to get upset about.

Did you expect her to leave her neighbour standing there for 10 mins while she carried on chatting to you? How peculiar. The other stuff she has done sounds far worse and if you forgave her for that, I would think she will be totally bewildered as to why you are not speaking to her for this triviality.

total overreaction

woodlandwanderwoman Sun 03-Nov-13 14:22:03

Life is too short, if you want to have a relationship with her then you'll have to get over these little things. I agree the bigger issue sounded pretty horrendous but if you have put that behind you, you can do the same now. Finding another outlet for your frustration will help, good luck x

BoundandRebound Sun 03-Nov-13 14:22:03

You're unreasonable

HaroldLloyd Sun 03-Nov-13 14:22:53

Massive overreaction.

You are maybe harbouring bad feeling regarding previous situations, as to not talk to her for this is totally ridiculous!

paxtecum Sun 03-Nov-13 14:23:58

OP: If you carry on not speaking to her it will be everyone's loss, including yours.

Your DCs will not have the joy of a Grandmother in their lives.
Your DH will have to choose sides.

Best wishes to you all.

3MenAndMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:24:03

My problem is that she was more concerned about some bloody batteries rather than spending some time with her grandchild....
She puts her neighbour before us and I think it's rather rude...

chchchchchangesusername Sun 03-Nov-13 14:24:52

HaHAaHaHA oooh god I'm all embarrassed for you. Does she know you aren't talking to her? grin

3MenAndMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:25:02

I may overreact but I will always put family first

WhoNickedMyName Sun 03-Nov-13 14:25:20

You're unreasonable.

And I'd love to hear your MIL's side of the story regarding having her unemployed son and his pregnant partner plus their 20 month old child living with her in her flat, and her getting to the point where she kicked them out.

I suspect it would be a very different version of events to yours.

HaroldLloyd Sun 03-Nov-13 14:26:56

Sometimes you have to cut a call short, if you speak to get every day I don't get the problem.

I really don't mean this nastily but I think you are being very dramatic about it which is why I wondered are you still upset over previous issues.

Follyfoot Sun 03-Nov-13 14:27:51

She was concerned about a neighbour who was at her house and needed a hand. She apologised and said she would catch up with you later. That all sounds fine to me. Not rude.

HaroldLloyd Sun 03-Nov-13 14:28:02

Everyone I know says at times oh I have to call you back the doors gone/some other thing.

Clawdy Sun 03-Nov-13 14:28:36

Why would anyone "love" reading anti-MIL threads? And now you are gleeful you can join them...get a life.

chchchchchangesusername Sun 03-Nov-13 14:29:35

What family do you put first? You don't get on with your family and you aren't talking to your MIL?

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