To make DH pay for DS's coat

[armadillosocial]

DH has taken the week off.

I've had work to do see he has taken kids out on day trips.

DS1 has lost his new coat. Proper winter storm proof thing.

DS1 says he gave it to FIL to hold when he was in the park.

It's now nowhere to be seen.

DH & FIL are denying all responsibility, saying both that he never had it AND they brought it back.

What's more DH is saying DS1 can't have a new one as he needs to learn a lesson

He knows that obviously I won't let him go all winter without a decent coat.

I understand that things get lost but it's DH's washing his hands of the whole thing which is annoying me.

I'm furious.

DH thinks I should be grateful for him looking after kids while I work but I expect them to be looked after properly

[littlewhitebag]

What age is DS? If the adults say the coat was brought back then it probably was. Maybe DS left it somewhere else or you just haven't found it yet.

[ImperialBlether]

Grateful for him looking after his own children while you work to help support the family?

Has he gone mad?

[Tuonz]

I think the fact your DH would rather punish a child then admit he's made an error is disgusting. All children should have a warm coat, being kept warm is up there with being fed, clean and loved.

Is this a massively out of character one off reaction?

[Tuonz]

I have assumed younger child from the day at the park fwiw.

[TTTatty]

Grateful? I would start there never mind the coat!
How old is DS? That influences a lot how much responsibility he should take IMO

[armadillosocial]

He's 7.

[armadillosocial]

To be fair to DH - he hasn't outwardly said I should be grateful, and he has done it willingly. That was probably a bit unfair on my part!

[RandomMess]

You have checked the car haven't you?

[WorraLiberty]

Are you sure your DS isn't just claiming to have handed it to your FIL, so that it's not his fault?

He might have left it on a bench or something.

[WorraLiberty]

You do realise this thread will mainly be about the last line of your OP, don't you?

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

Your DH is being very unreasonable to expect a 7 yo to be cold as a punishment.

[Tuonz]

So your DH would let a seven year old child go cold all winter as he never had the coat and fil never had the coat but they can both confirm it came back? Either DS wore it home or he didn't.

[ginmakesitallok]

If he is your dh then does it matter who actually buys the new coat??? Just get him a new coat ffs!.

[Fairenuff]

Do you mean make him pay financially? Do you have separate accounts or something?

[FortyDoorsToNowhere]

Just get a new coat.

Is DH his child

[Bowlersarm]

Surely it doesn't matter who buys the coat? It comes out of the family pot of money whoever buys it.

[flowery]

Do you not have shared finances? Yes it's annoying, but these things happen, get a new coat. I'd be less worried about the money than about your DH thinking a 7yo going cold all winter is acceptable.

[knickernicker]

The child is only 7. Whoever left it wherever, the child shouldn't be punished. Your dh is a bit if a loon to want to punish a little boy this severely. Obviously a new coat will be bought.
If this story is just one example of your dh behaviour, I'm sure you've got plenty more you could tell us.

[gemmal88]

Do you have separate money? Surely the money you spend on your kids is shared?

At the end of the day the kid needs a coat so rise above him and just get it.

Re. The grateful bit... He is your husband's son as well, I'd be telling him to wind his neck in!

[Justforlaughs]

Even IF your DS put his coat on a bench and then left it there, your DH should have checked. Children are just as much the responsibility of Dads as they are of Mums, (not that you would believe it most of the time ). I'm a bit confused over the issue of who buys the coat, unless you both hate shopping (that's what the internet is for) or if you have separate finances.

[SanityClause]

Surely a 7yo knows if they wore their coat home, or not?

[ChippingInLovesAGoodBang]

Yep - the coat is the least of your worries isn't it.

[FunkyFucker]

What's more DH is saying DS1 can't have a new one as he needs to learn a lesson

What lesson is that? Not to trust his dad to pay attention when he is at the park?

[ShipwreckedAndComatose]

But your DH was the responsible adult in this situation! If your child was that responsible then he wouldn't need looking after at all.

[SteamWisher]

This is a 7 year old child right?

And I assume that is DH is one of two parents, right?

1 - Your DH shouldn't have to pay because it surely comes out of one pot of money for your family. Otherwise you end up with ridiculous situations where one parent claims to be subsidising the other even if it means in reality they're providing basics for their own children

2-your DH and you shouldn't be having blackmail type stand offs when the result is that your kid is caught in the middle.

Both of you need to grow up a bit.