OMG - Are you pregnant?

(37 Posts)
hobbjobb Sun 03-Nov-13 09:29:36

I'm 11 weeks pregnant, will be going public after dating scan next week.
I've told a few close friends and our families as I had an early scan so saw baby and heartbeat already.

I went out to dinner with a large group of friends on Friday and it was noted that I was not drinking or smoking, and rather than share tapas I just ordered my own main meal. So I guess it was obvious I'm preggers.

Two people there, not particularly close friends, would not shut up about it. They kept going on and on, asking if I was, why I wasn't drinking, why not smoking etc etc. In the end I had to hiss that yes, I was pregnant but that I didn't appreciate being forced to tell them, if someone isn't telling then there is a reason and that if the time is right, the news will be forthcoming.

I appreciate people get excited but why do people not just throw a knowing glance and then carry on with their evening? Or even just gossip when I went to the loo?
I felt forced into telling and now I feel resentful.
Or AIBU and grumpy?

CailinDana Sun 03-Nov-13 09:34:55

Hmm. I agree it's annoying but it sounds like they were excited and got a bit silly. What was their response to what you said?

FromthePinkGlitterySide Sun 03-Nov-13 09:36:39

Why did you not share tapas because you are pregnant?
<misses point entirely>

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 09:37:55

Yanbu.

If a man would stop drinking and smoking they never get asked why, but if a women does they must be pregnant.

Congratulation on your pregnancy.

lifesgreatquestions Sun 03-Nov-13 09:38:46

You don't have to say, living a healthy lifestyle for a few hours should not out a person!

NotYoMomma Sun 03-Nov-13 09:39:35

I would probably have just been like 'yes but it goes no further than this table, is it that obvious, are you calling me fat haha?' in a good natured (esp if you are 11weeks) way

MorrisZapp Sun 03-Nov-13 09:39:44

Lesson one of pregnancy: all those drunken idiots you find yourself surrounded by all of a sudden? That was you, prior to bfp day.

That's why the pg non drinkers take offence at everything. They're sober.

Congrats on your pregnancy!

MrsSparkles Sun 03-Nov-13 09:40:56

YNBU, I also used to get very huffy and say if I wanted them to know any news I'd tell them and not be badgered into it - are they British? I tend to find my British friends quite discreet, but my husbands Saffa friends have no problem asking - just a cultural thing I guess.

grobagsforever Sun 03-Nov-13 09:43:44

I'm with you OP. If people guess they should keep it to.themselves. I am in earlyy pg and had dinner with an.old friend, his parents and pregnant sister last night. As I was not drinking and was making exactly the same food choices as the pg sister it was very obvious I was pg,, normally I love wine! No.one said a word but as I knew my friend has guessed (we have been friends for 20 years, he guessed my last pg too ) I texted him.afterwards and fessed up. But he wouldn't have asked me directly, as he respects my privacy.

SabrinaMulFUCKERJjones Sun 03-Nov-13 09:48:58

We once had old friends over (live a long way away). She had 'given up alcohol for lent' and the pair of them spent the whole evening discussing our baby ds1, childcare arrangements, maternity leave... was funny, it was sooo obvious. I didn't say anything though - but when they did announce it we told them we'd guessed because they made it pretty obvious grin

Bit annoying that they went on about it - but they were prob drunk/overexcited?

SabrinaMulFUCKERJjones Sun 03-Nov-13 09:49:24

Congratulations btw!

Mondayschild78 Sun 03-Nov-13 09:52:19

grin at Morris as this is very true IMO

I can understand why you are a bit annoyed but I presume they were drinking and just got a bit excited and carried away? Try not to let it spoil anything. You will have lots of people to tell your news when you are ready to do so.

Congrats

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 03-Nov-13 09:54:23

Just as a realistic excuse if anyone wants one (you have to have been a smoker) I couldn't drink at all when I was on those tablets to help you give up. The effect was just horrible for me personally and made me feel really spaced out. Gives you about 6 weeks worth of an excuse if I remember correctly.

TinyDynamite Sun 03-Nov-13 09:56:26

grin Morris

SabrinaMulFUCKERJjones Sun 03-Nov-13 10:02:19

I had two 30th birthday parties and a wedding in the first trimester of ds1 pregnancy, and I was keeping it secret. It was hell on earth - pretending not to drink - everyone else outrageously drunk, too drunk to even hold a conversation grin I did think 'god, is that what I used to look like??"

I was smug and hangover free the next day though.

hobbjobb Sun 03-Nov-13 10:26:53

They are British and yes they were pissed and excited so I don't think there was actually any malice, just annoying!

It was an Asian tapas place so lots of raw fish and I just ordered noodles as didn't fancy anything else.

Agree that drunk people are crazily annoying when you're sober, looking forward to becoming an anmoying drunk again, at some point!

FreakinRexManningDay Sun 03-Nov-13 10:37:27

I found drinking non alcohol cocktails excellent for disguising an early pregnancy.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 10:39:18

YANBU OP but they were drunk and over-excited. It's a shame some people are like a dog with a bone but that's why a lot of people have excuses ready.

On antibiotics
On other tablets
Recovering from a stomach infection
detoxing
On a diet that disincludes alcohol

etc

fruitloop84 Sun 03-Nov-13 10:54:39

I was organising a meal out recently for a large group, when i got one friends food choices through it was obvious to me she was pregnant, but I would never have said.anything. as it turns out she told us straight away and said she knew I would have guessed.

youur friends were prob just excited but I would be annoyed too

grobagsforever Sun 03-Nov-13 12:12:09

Mia4, most ppl are pretty wise to those types of excuses from women with partners of typical child bearing age. Well, they are when you're like me and known to have a love of wine. I hid my first pregnancy fairly well, although had to tell close family and friends. But for this second PG I'm really going to struggle as ppl will be expecting it IYSWIM.

ilikemysleep Sun 03-Nov-13 12:22:11

My tip for disguising early pg - ginless 'gin' and tonic. Get it with ice and a slice, most people are none the wiser. Congrats BTW smile

LittleBairn Sun 03-Nov-13 12:27:30

YANBU I would have been furious I'm 14 weeks pregnant I won't be announcing it until I can no longer hide my bump.
This type of thing is all about the guesser being me me me they want to be the first to discover and know about it and crow to others.
It's nothing to do with the pregant woman and her baby, its not about sharing their joy its about them being irritating people who don't know when to let it go.

HandbagCrazy Sun 03-Nov-13 12:30:33

When my sister was going through this stage (she didnt tell anyone until 16 weeks), whenever she went out, she started by telling people she had been ill so was disappointed not to be able to drink, or that she was doing the driving so her partner could drink. Nobody guessed a thing - although her friends did go on to her a bit because they wanted her to join in

Im ttc at the moment and am planning on using her tactics if i get my bfp as they worked so well!

Rosencrantz Sun 03-Nov-13 12:56:16

Badly orchestrated, but I really do think they were just excited for you OP!

paxtecum Sun 03-Nov-13 12:57:17

YABU.

You didn't have to tell them.

But do all you secret pregnancy women not think that people may be pleased for you?

Some couples won't divulge the due date.
I don't understand the secrecy.
I do however understand not putting stuff on FB to share with the world.

A friend's daughter got married secretly and invited all the unsuspecting guests to lunch.
Many didn't go which upset the couple, but it was mid week.
The guests would have made an effort for a wedding.

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