To find attention seeking behaviour very irritating?

(22 Posts)
Lamearaous Sat 02-Nov-13 19:08:37

I currently have two acquaintances that always, always have to be the centre of attention. I can't avoid either of them, but argh, they're so irritating.

First person is a woman that I know from my NCT group. Our children are now 4, and us mums still meet up regularly for nights out, and there is no avoiding her. She has always been the alpha female in the group, with lots of the other group members looking up to her, and she's not got any better as time has gone on.

She really loves the sound of her own voice, and our nights out are almost totally dominated by her; we go to places that she wants to go to, on nights that suit her, and very often the whole night seems to be about her. She and her DH are quite well off financially, and have lots of holidays and nice things, but she seems to brag constantly, and talk about her children so that no one else can get a word in edgeways. Everything for her is always far more dramatic than it is for anyone else, and she turns everyday things into great big stories, talking loudly so that we all have to listen. Our 4 year olds have all recently started school. Her child is at private school and she keeps making constant references to this and inferring that we've all sent our children to awful schools.

The other is a mum from my DC's school. So again there is no avoiding her. her attention seeking usually takes place on Facebook. I'd say she uploads in excess of 20 photos per day, and does constant statuses and photo captions of how gorgeous her children are and how great her life is. It's almost as if she has to convince herself that her life is as good as she pretends that it is.

She literally documents everything on FB. Kids got a new pair of jeans each? Photos on FB of them 'modelling' them. Cooked a cake? Photo on FB of every stage in the cooking process (Plus a caption about cooking with her wonderful, amazing children). A dog walk to the end of the road? Photos on FB of each of her 4 children holding the lead plus about a million other photos of them walking.

She also has to trump whatever anyone does with something better. If a mutual friend posts something on their status about, for example, feeling ill, she will do a status a short while later about feeling ill. It seems like she does it all for attention.

AIBU to find this behaviour irritating?

MrsWolowitz Sat 02-Nov-13 19:19:41

YANBU. This annoys me too.

I have no idea what the solution is. Make new friends I guess, easier said than done though.

harticus Sat 02-Nov-13 19:26:18

Well it isn't compulsory to be in their company and you don't have to pay attention to whatever toss they post on Facebollocks.

Clearly they aren't your type of people - they probably have an interesting opinion on your personality too.

Find new friends that you actually like.

Retroformica Sat 02-Nov-13 19:32:01

Hide her posts?

Objection Sat 02-Nov-13 19:36:02

I see no reason why a) you have to socialise with gobby, I'd just organise events with mums I like and avoid her and b) why you have whiner on facebook in the first place. Delete!

Bunbaker Sat 02-Nov-13 19:36:25

Unfriend the second one on FB, she sounds far too self absorbed. don't know what to suggest for the first one.

AnyCoffeeFucker Sat 02-Nov-13 19:37:08

Kill and eat them ?

UriGeller Sat 02-Nov-13 19:51:16

These aren't friends, these are psychic leeches.

WhataMistakeaToMakea Sat 02-Nov-13 19:53:32

I know someone like the second lady - I also know she's just doing it to convince herself because. Her husband told everyone how she broke down and begged him to proper to her on a holiday and she only has sex when she is ttc (and clearly she has a husband who spreads gossip about her which isn't nice) I wouldn't buy into anyone who has to spend so much time boasting about themselves

WhataMistakeaToMakea Sat 02-Nov-13 19:54:33

Propose not proper grrr auto correct

RandomMess Sat 02-Nov-13 19:56:06

I found joining a few FB groups of things I was interested in diluted all the irritating ones from people I couldn't delete.

I now have lots of photos of cats coming up, but at least they don't come with passive aggressivenes or boasting - not even when particular cats of won best in show and stuff like that grin

Ivyfairy Sat 02-Nov-13 20:04:20

Cat show photos would be interesting. Make a pleasant change I think.

Can you reduce contact, hide them on Facebook, OP?

PurplePidjin Sat 02-Nov-13 20:04:26

With the first one, you wait till she interrupts someone then say "Sorry, Mildred, what were you saying?"

The second one needs hiding. Or un-friend if you think she won't notice hmm

RobotLover68 Sat 02-Nov-13 20:08:52

Ooh I recently got unfriended by my attention seeking ex-friend - I don't have to read her constant boasty updates anymore - result! grin

RandomMess Sat 02-Nov-13 20:10:46

Better still there aren't that many show photos, it's an uncommon breed of cat so you spend time spotting photos of ones that look amazing like your own or doing stupid/clever things - the breed have a crazy streak!

The first one - stop socialising with her! Do one to one meet ups with those in the group you really like. Do the rest of you not catch each other's eye when she is off bragging loudly over everybody? I'm amazed people have put up with her for 4 years!

The second one, hide her posts so they don't show up on your feed. I've done this and it's fab.

friday16 Sat 02-Nov-13 20:51:13

Top tip: spend more time with people you like. Spend less time with people you don't like.

HTH.

HAND.

TheHouseonHauntedHill Sat 02-Nov-13 20:55:41

Yep, have one of those in my NCT group too.

We get emails, cant we do this one a certain night as she has to get her baby down confused, can we do something else on this day because of her needs again.

my problem is, I tend to spot these people straight off the bat whilst it takes others a while to sink in.

AveryJessup Sat 02-Nov-13 21:00:58

For the Facebook boaster, you should like and promote this website about parents who overshare on your page and tag her in it too. Maybe she'll get the hint:
STFU Parents

GreenVelvet Sat 02-Nov-13 21:20:36

Think on the plus side - they sound the most miserable, controlling kind of people ever. Imagine never being able to relax because you have to dominate a conversation, or rush to your computer to post a picture. Ugh!

The first one - I'd just arrange my chair as far away as possible, or turn my back and start talking to someone else. Why should you listen to this drivel? Or take the piss out of her (subtley) when she starts boasting about private school. Say something like "its terrible isn't it, the inequality in our education system?" (you don't have to believe this, just enjoy goading her hahahah!.

The second one, don't go on facebook?

Agree, about spending time with more people you like smile

kennyp Sat 02-Nov-13 21:25:36

i know two people on fb like that. they will post something that only says they want attention. then they never reply to anyone but obviously the huggy huggy hun (VOMIT) replies nurture their fragile ego. knobheads.

.... i'm going out tongiht!! aka tell me what a gorgeous person i am. plus YOU'RE not invited!!

...... my kids are so great!! aka I've been through so much and I'm STILL a bloody wonderful mother.

.... thanks to all my good friends - you know who you are. aka. well aka feck all. if you're not going to publicly laud your lovely hun hun friends them i'm including myself in the non-existent list.

..... i had a fantastic weekend and i'm in love. aka: i didn't realise you were 14.

aka i am not a bitter betty but i keep my joyous life far away from the boasty bob nature of facial book.

kennyp Sat 02-Nov-13 21:26:41

nothing beats a facebook rant.
your "friends" sound a bit nightmareish. i would sooner not go out with people who make me feel inferior (i e i don't go out with them. they have stopped asking and i am relieved that i feel okay about myself as a result.).

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