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Nearly 12 year old trick or treating alone at night?

(74 Posts)
Howsuper Wed 30-Oct-13 10:10:05

Sorry I know there are other similar threads at the mo but I really want opinions please - AIBU to let my son (12 in December) trick or treat with two friends from 6pm - 8pm?

He goes out on his own a fair amount and we are very relaxed about it - he is sensible, mature and has a phone.

The bit that's slightly bothering me is him walking home alone after leaving his friends - a 5/10 min walk. Urban area.

Whattya think?

LordPalmerston Thu 31-Oct-13 18:11:36

my 10 year old is out in a gang

fine

DS2 went out for an hour. He's 13 and went alone. He only went to lit houses and came home with his bag full of sweets and some coins. Everyone was fine with him thank goodness. It's the last time though. He's shy really so I think he's so keen to do it as he has the confidence too when dressed up?

I had the cutest little one at the door telling me 'it's Halloween you know' - I have my pumpkin lit with cobwebs and spiders in the window thlgrin

conkercon Thu 31-Oct-13 15:43:37

A group of 8 year olds with an adult is not intimidating. Even a group of 12 year olds with an adult is not intimidating. A group of teenagers on their own wearing masks can be intimidating to people. I am sorry Ghostsgowoooh that this happened to you.

Shoot me for caring about other people's feelings.

HoobleDooble England Thu 31-Oct-13 15:33:01

Unfortunately I live in so similar sounding area to Ghostsgo I won't be answering my door tonight. My DH is on late shift and my DS will be in bed.

The first year I lived here I saw a young lad from the next street, wearing a bin liner, chucking stones at people's houses, shouting "Answer your door you f***** b******!"

HalloweenHatingGrinch Thu 31-Oct-13 15:21:39

This is why trick or treating is a big load of bollocks.
It's alright to go begging at doorsteps if you're small and dressed up as a cute pumpkin or wharever hmm but if you're a child of 12, nope, you're too old. You've ceased being cute, you're now intimidating instead.
A group of 8 pumpkins and wizards hammering on the door at the age of 8 demanding sweets is a different matter. That's allowed. Ooookay then. hmm

Initgrand you really are talking bollocks aren't you.

Ever had a group of teens\ preteens standing outside your house hurling abuse everytime you go outside, throwing empty drinks cans into your garden and throwing missiles at your house.

No?

Or an 11 year old throwing a brick through your kids bedroom window showering your sleeping kids with glass (this happened to my kids half sisters)

I do have a teen and a preteen and they and most of their friends are fine. But our area has a rough element and teen gangs at night.

So shame on you for trying to shame thosr of us who feel intimidated bt groups of teens in masks

Blu Thu 31-Oct-13 15:00:41

It's fine - but I would say 6-7pm. They will have had enough after an hour, anyway.
And next year will feel too old maybe.

DS and friends are gong on their on for the first time, and it ill probably be the last time as dressing up will be to uncool next year.

conkercon Thu 31-Oct-13 14:57:03

It has got nothing to do with race, colour of skin nor ethnicity. You are not comparing like for like.

My rules are because I do like to think of other people's feelings as well as well as my own. A couple of 12 year olds with younger children and an adult in tow IMO is not intimidating. 6 or 7 teenagers or even more (my son has a very big group of friends) running around can intimidate people. And even very sensible teenagers can get caught up in the antics of others.

I saw a group of 5 kids the other day running around shops effing and jeffing. They were pretty intimidating and downright rude to some of the shop assistants. They were I would say around the age of 11 or 12. I was not intimidated as I gave them my death stare and they soon scarpered, but I can understand that others not used to teenagers would be worried.

I have no problem when kids are hanging out, I do have a problem with them knocking on people's doors.

I think secondary school age is too old, but have suggested to my 15 year old that I am happy for him to go trick or treating with his mates as long as I accompany them grin. Thankfully he is just going around a mates house to watch scary films.

lljkk Netherlands Thu 31-Oct-13 14:01:14

I think culturally in Britain it's not unusual at 12-14. So fine by me, around here.

I'm taking 12yo DD & friend tonight, along with my younger ones. DD is going as a zombie in a onesie. I would let DD go with friend & without an adult, but the friend (11yo) not allowed on her own.

Sandiacre Thu 31-Oct-13 09:57:33

I'm taking four 12 year olds T&T tonight, I am also dressing up and as I'm small I will probably be mistaken as being a child the same as last year.

I have had groups of teens knock on my door at Halloween in costume, I don't mind at all.

We decorate our front door so it is obvious we don't mind T&T's calling.

It is the only day of the year I don't mind people knocking as I am quite unsociable usually.

killpeppa Thu 31-Oct-13 09:09:38

12 is too old to be trick or treating IMO

moldingsunbeams Thu 31-Oct-13 08:48:09

"Shame on the people who say they are intimidated by a group of 12 yr olds, is it any more acceptable than saying you would be intimidated by a group of black kids."

confused

Stop using race and ethnicity to be sensational. hmm

Here we had a group of drunk teens running up and down the street stealing from the shop, being abusive, causing criminal damage and running in the road last week after a party gone wrong. The police were called and several taken to station after being abusive to police.

Those kids will be the ones knocking on my door tonight and I will not be answering, why? Because I know if I do they will want money from past experience and I will get abuse and damage to my property if I do not give.

If a group of Black kids or any kids knocked on my door outside of halloween I would think they wanted sponsorship for a school event (happens often here) or were doing a survey for school or wanted assistance in finding somewhere.

Chances are they aren't going to throw eggs and flour or abuse me because I have not given them sweets or money.

I also think 12 is too old, especially if he's with a group of teens, most people find this intimidating, my DS was 6 foot tall at age 12 so would of been very intimidating bashing on someone's door not that he wanted to go out, would rather stay in the warm and eat all the sweets leave it to the primary's

bearleftmonkeyright Thu 31-Oct-13 08:40:18

Surely you just go to houses where its fine? No intimidation necessary. Really I don't understand the idea that 11 yo are intimidating. Set the ground rules. Fine if some posters don't want to let their dc go but in many areas in the UK it really is perfectly normal.

moldingsunbeams Thu 31-Oct-13 08:39:01

What on earth has a person of a different ethnicity boarding a plane got to do with a group of teenagers dressed up in horror masks or costumes knocking on your front door...

moldingsunbeams Thu 31-Oct-13 08:34:14

I have told dd she is too old this year (nearly 11 and year 6) to go, we only usually go to friends and family mostly anyway tbh

She will have sweets.

Small cute toddlers and primary school children with parents is fine.
IMO when they get old enough to go out alone its not fine, some 10/11 year olds are huge and in groups can be intimindating especially for older people.

We are going to a party then home.

SpottyDottie Thu 31-Oct-13 08:29:33

DS is 13 and has said he is not going as he is too old for it. I've bought him some sweets instead.

bearleftmonkeyright Thu 31-Oct-13 07:57:29

My 11 yo DD is going with her friends. Many kids round here still do at that age but we are rural and back if beyond. Highlight of the year round here!

Chopstheduck Thu 31-Oct-13 07:56:09

I think it depends on your area really. Here, we do get a few older groups that do it, and they are polite and nice enough, so it is fine. There are also LOTS of people out, including parents with younger children, so it feels safer than letting them out in the dark on any other night. So my older two are allowed, as long as they do go with friends, and follow the pumpkin rule.

PrivatePeaceful Thu 31-Oct-13 07:51:37

My 12 yo ds wants to go with his friends, but he is going to go with his younger brothers. Mainly as his friends live over a 30 minute walk away.

We get various age groups, and I don't care what age as long as they are polite. We always get a "thank you" from any teens. I put glo-sticks in the sweet bowl, but these are more popular with the younger ones.

intitgrand Thu 31-Oct-13 07:36:20

are you saying over 11s should not be allowed out after dark io groups after dark io general os just not on halloween

intitgrand Thu 31-Oct-13 07:30:23

it is the same principle though.

conkercon Thu 31-Oct-13 01:28:30

The comparison with flying is ridiculous. We are talking about groups of teenagers out on their own wearing masks and I can completely understand a) people feeling nervous and b) teens out on their own with their mates not being quite as sensible as their parents might like them to be iyswim.

If parents want to shadow their teens then that is a different matter. My own son is quite small for his age but most of his friends were taller than me at 12/13 and I can see it from other peoples point of view. I know my son and his mates are great lads. Other people don't.

Don't be daft, inti.

intitgrand Thu 31-Oct-13 01:12:28

would it be ok to say that any other demogragic should be excluded from something because oe other peoples prejudices ? So for example i know several people who are anxious about boarding a plane when they see young arabic men travelling alone.so should arabic men be banned from travel because others might feel intimidated ? A 12 year old is a child fgs

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