Nearly 12 year old trick or treating alone at night?

(74 Posts)
Howsuper Wed 30-Oct-13 10:10:05

Sorry I know there are other similar threads at the mo but I really want opinions please - AIBU to let my son (12 in December) trick or treat with two friends from 6pm - 8pm?

He goes out on his own a fair amount and we are very relaxed about it - he is sensible, mature and has a phone.

The bit that's slightly bothering me is him walking home alone after leaving his friends - a 5/10 min walk. Urban area.

Whattya think?

HighBrows Wed 30-Oct-13 12:21:47

This is the first year I don't have to go trick or treating thank fuck.

I'm bring the girls out for dinner they are 12 and 13. I'm very happy Halloween is over for us! thlsmile

Unwritten rule here is that trick or treating stops when they leave primary.

Howsuper Wed 30-Oct-13 12:37:52

Thanks all - I really didn't know that about the unwritten age limit rule!

This has been illuminating.

I have told my ds and now he is unsure whether to go or not. If he doesn't then I'll take a leaf out of HighBrows book and take him for dinner or get a takeaway and allow him to stuff himself with Haribo.

FlapJackOLantern Wed 30-Oct-13 12:49:43

Shut up Thesouthernwind - that's not what OP asked. If you can't say something positive on the thread, then bog off !

conkercon Wed 30-Oct-13 12:50:27

Same rule in my house no trick or treating once at secondary school. No need for grounding just the word "no" does it. My son's friends are all lovely lads but a group of teenagers can be very intimidating to others. Big row last year about it but I feel very strongly about it. Nothing has been mentioned this year thank goodness.

FlapJackOLantern Wed 30-Oct-13 12:51:17

Doesn't stop at Primary - whoever gave you that impression? We get children of 12/13 round our village every Halloween. Not a problem.

14 is too old, maybe.

But to answer your question, OP - could you not go and meet him if you are worried?

cory Wed 30-Oct-13 13:03:47

I have told my 13yo he will be staying in on Halloween. Not because he is too young to do it but because I think he is too old. He is easily the size of an adult and noone who sees him looming on the doorstep is going to know his age or how sweet and unthreatening he is really. He swears blind he would only knock on doors where he knows the people, but I don't for a moment believe he would have any control over which doors his friends knocked on or whether they knew those people or not. If you are with a group you don't have total control.

But if he wants to walk home from his friend's house in the dark on any other evening of the year he is welcome as long as it is not too late.

Howsuper Wed 30-Oct-13 13:51:36

Good points, cory.

Yes Flapjack and Sybil I think I'll do that - have a meeting point. I'm out with younger children anyway.

intitgrand Wed 30-Oct-13 13:55:15

why would be people be frightened of A 12 YR OLD?

There have been some 12 or 13 year olds causing trouble round our way including criminal damage. My now 14 year old was as tall as me at twelve and looked older than his years.

So yes I can see why people might be intimidated by a bunch of twelve year olds

SybilRamkin Wed 30-Oct-13 14:18:36

Glad you're not banning him going - childhood is over fast enough, no need to speed it on its way with daft rules like some posters are suggesting. I've lived in Manchester, Cambridge and London and have always seen plenty of 12/13 year olds out trick-or-treating, and have been happy to give them sweets!

pigletmania Wed 30-Oct-13 14:19:04

Exactly happy, te teenagers can be quite intimidating, they do come round in a group, imagine opening te door to 6 teenagers in fecking scream masks. It should stop by the time tey go to secondary school. I do generally get sweets and my dcs dress up when we hand ver sweets, but I do not like the idea off going round with dc myself. There, rambling over smile

Belugagrad Wed 30-Oct-13 14:19:34

Too old I'm afraid

WinterWinds Wed 30-Oct-13 14:47:24

I personally don't think that 11 is too old for trick or treating.
We get kids here up to the age of about 13 or 14 but any older than this then I don't think they should be knocking doors.

GoldenGytha Wed 30-Oct-13 14:54:14

I don't think 12 is too old,

Here in Scotland, most 11 year olds are still at Primary School, mine certainly were, and I think we stopped "Guising" when they were about 13.

I always went with them though, and I don't mind older kids knocking at my door either.

HowlingTrap Wed 30-Oct-13 15:46:01

I dunno teenagers have more autonomy and start to express individual style more, the ones truly into Halloween turn up in some marvellous costumes..
Primary school kids aren't quite the same. I had one who knocked and said they really liked our pumpkins smile
they aren't being dragged round my miserable parents who have stuck em' in a bin liner and want to get home as fast as possible.

We've had a few round here tonight. All ages. I have a lit pumpkin in the window now so they know I'm into Halloween thlsmile

Sparklingbrook Wed 30-Oct-13 20:05:30

Is nobody waiting for tomorrow, when it's actually Halloween? confused

My 11 year old is going out all dressed up with his mates, for probably the last time. DS1 (14) is manning the door here.

southeastastra Wed 30-Oct-13 20:07:38

poor kids, 12 is certainly no too old, let him have fun with his mates as long as he's sensible

valiumredhead Wed 30-Oct-13 20:07:53

Depends where you live, it's a big thing here and people who want trick our treaters put pumpkins by their front doors. 12 year olds are fine and have always been lovely and polite.

intitgrand Wed 30-Oct-13 20:17:55

Most kids haver grown out of T or T by about 12 and 13, but if they still want to do it that's great.
Shame on the people who say they are intimidated by a group of 12 yr olds, is it any more acceptable than saying you would be intimidated by a group of black kids.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Wed 30-Oct-13 20:23:53

Shame on people for being intimidated by 12yos?

Funnily enough I don't ask for id at the door to see exactly how old they are. My ds is 12 and taller than me, as are most of his friends. In the dark with masks and costumes on it's hard to tell if they are 12 or 16. What age of pre teen/teenager is it acceptable to feel intimidated by? confused

conkercon Thu 31-Oct-13 00:48:44

I don't feel intimidated by teenagers because I have teenagers and on the whole they and their friends are lovely. However, I am quite aware that groups of teenagers can make other people feel very intimidated hence my own stance on a primary school age limit.

I am well aware that not all teens are sweetness and light and can understand why people might feel nervous. And while I would like to think my son would only knock on the doors of decorated houses I am also fully aware of peer pressure so best to say no. No shame in taking other peoples feelings into consideration.

shubiedoo Thu 31-Oct-13 00:54:31

In North America it's not old at all! My son is nearly 11 and he's going out with just his 2 friends for the first time this year (we live in Canada.)

intitgrand Thu 31-Oct-13 01:12:28

would it be ok to say that any other demogragic should be excluded from something because oe other peoples prejudices ? So for example i know several people who are anxious about boarding a plane when they see young arabic men travelling alone.so should arabic men be banned from travel because others might feel intimidated ? A 12 year old is a child fgs

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