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To be sick and fecking tired of receiving shitty, thoughtless xmas presents(107 Posts)
DHs family excells at this and it drives me mad!
We don't have a lot of money to spend on family when it comes to xmas as we have 3 DC and DHs family is massive.
So every year I spend weeks racking my brain trying to come up with nice presents for everyone that don't cost the earth but will still be enjoyed - I'm not just saying that, I really try. Partly because I like giving nife presents and also because I really can't bear the thought that the money we have to save up all year gets wasted on crap that nobody wants!
And every year it's blatantly obvious that most of DHs family get us presents that were bought according to the motto "fuck it, that'll do". They are all loaded, without exception, yet end up getting us the cheapest, shittiest crap you can imagine. Btw, how much money they spend is not an issue, as I said we can't afford to spend much either, but their presents are just so thoughtless and useless!
Examples- Size 18 summer pjs (strappy top and shorts) - I'm a size 10/12. An endless selection of costume jewelry, massive ear hoops, big bling necklaces, etc. - I don't ever wear jewelry. A crappy little fajita pan and chicken fajita kit - we are vegetarians, AND SO IS THE PERSON WHO GAVE IT TO US! The list is endless!
I should add that DH have been together over 10 years and al, his family lives locally. We see each other fairly regularly, so they know us quite well.
I have in the past suggested to DH that we should just tell his family not to get us presents anymore and we stop getting them presents too but he was horrified at the thought, as it's just not the "done" thing in his family. I just know this year won'tbe any different and it
I've asked MIL not to get me anything this year as it is invariably a stocking full of crap she bought in a charity shop. (I phrased it more nicely and asked for books for DD that we could read together)
Meanwhile she's asked us for expensive knitting needles. The value of presents exchanged is never, ever commensurate which I don't mind so much as I mind having to store all the tat she buys us each year.
I'd tell them,
'oh those don't fit I'm a size 10'
'sorry but I don't eat meat'
I would never make a disparaging comment about a present to the giver, even if it's true eg the wrong size (take it back yourself and exchange for the right size). Receive graciously even if it wasn't given with grace.
Bake eg a cake for whole families - they love it. Wine, foodstuffs, choc (homemade if you can be bothered). All go down well. TKMaxx are good for exotic foodstuffs at a decent price. Buy only for the kids.
I wouldn't really mind if I got given bizarre, inappropriate presents. What I do object to- and what happens every single year- is that from roughly mid-November onwards my family bombard me with demands to tell them what I want them to get for me. I actually find it quite difficult and stressful thinking up things that I want enough to feel comfortable asking other people to buy, but not so much that it isn't slightly irritating that I can't just buy it for myself on the spot. Partners apart, I find it all a bit distasteful that well-off adults who don't need anything make such a fuss- none of my family are short of cash or STUFF, and I'd rather we all just gave the pointless spending a miss.
YADNBU. I live through this every year. I buy nice thoughtful gifts for my ILs.....I think!?! Last year it was Vera Wang pjs (in the right size) and I got a dusty old pocket make up set that was Obviously from Boots' sale in 1997. It doesn't bother me when the present is for me but when they do it to the kids as well. This year I am regifting their presents to them and pleading ignorance.....for the sake of my girls of course.
My huge family stopped buying presents for the adults years ago. We do secret santa (names in a hat, £50 value gift) and a donation to crisis at chistmas. The under 18s get a gift and those still in full time education get £20. It's much less stressful and all our effort goes into a big family party rather than worrying about what to get for each other.
I agree with the posters who have said that they are probably either regifting or buying off eBay or spotting bargains that they then allocate as appropriate. For example, the summer PJs would have been on sale at the end of one summer, and they'd have thought, "A cheap pair of PJs, they'll do for someone for Christmas" and the OP drew the short straw.
I think a suitably passive aggressive response would be to buy them all Oxfam goats. Failing that, just get them all £5 gift vouchers and hope that eventually they work it out.
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