To not allow swimsuit stealing MIL to just 'drop in'

(281 Posts)
fairy1303 Fri 25-Oct-13 10:19:14

Posted many times about MIL.

DSD lives with us full time and MIl very VERy OTT with her/us - she used to be at our house nearly everyday, would take washing home, without permission, took her swimsuit home, is just generally a nightmare.

She recently kicked me out of her car in the rain, told me I was a rude bitch and tried to drive off with DS.

Now, in the interests of civility we have been rubbing along ok, but we have barely seen each other.

DSD had a plastic dressing table thing. We bought her a new grown up one and are passing on the small one to her cousin.

It comes with various accessories, hair brush, pretend perfume bottle etc.
MIL has taken the dressing table to her house as she is seeing the cousin next week before we do.

She has left the lid (small, plastic) of one of the 'perfume bottles' here. She has described where it is. I am seeing her tonight.

She wants to 'pop over' on Tuesday to find it herself. I have suggested I just give it to her tonight when we see her. She is not happy with this, wants to come on Tuesday. I have explained that I have a friend over on tues, may be in and out, is not convenient. She wants me to leave a key out for her and feels I am being completely unreasonable.

Am I? I can't see it anymore as I am too embroiled!

Well done if you have waded through the tedium and got this far!

EldritchCleavage Fri 25-Oct-13 11:18:48

I was being flippant earlier. In RL I would either ignore and get DH to deal with it, or text 'Oh for heaven's sake, woman, grow up!' And I mean that quite genuinely, that's not words on a screen bravado.

shewhowines Fri 25-Oct-13 11:19:58

Broken record. "We are not letting anyone have access to our house while we are not there"
"Because we don't want to" in response to every argument back.

Don't bother explaining. You'll twist yourself in knots arguing and counter arguing. There is no point in being subtle to avoid offending her. Her hide is as thick as a rhino and she will be offended whatever you say..

Jengnr Fri 25-Oct-13 11:22:14

What a bitch. She can't get her way so you must be having an affair. Make sure you tell your husband.

And yes, get 'the lesbians' onside. Even better, fill your house full of stereotypically lesbian looking women on Tuesday. And close the curtains as she drives past smile!

zipzap Fri 25-Oct-13 11:25:43

I'd just text her back with a simple Yes! And leave her to ponder on it.

Or maybe if you feel the need for something longer - text - the friend was so upset by your behaviour throwing me out of car etc etc and she's not as polite or tolerant of bad behaviour as I am. I didn't think you could cope hearing the truth about your behaviour.

HexU Fri 25-Oct-13 11:27:36

YANBU

You have the right idea about giving it to her tonight - if she kicks up a fuss state you were saving her a journey and ignore any fuss.

I'd ignore the text - why give her attention - but tell your DH and ask him to say something to her about how inappropriate they are.

KirjavaTheCorpse Fri 25-Oct-13 11:32:40

Christ she's a woman obsessed. I vote a gentle prod in the lesbian affair direction.

fluffyraggies Fri 25-Oct-13 11:35:06

Definitely tell DH/show him the text. That is unbelievable! The bare bloody cheek of it!! angry

How dare she hint at you having an affair! Lordy!

Can your DH take the bottle top over with you? And tell her right there and then to back off and wind her neck in. Especially about the man friend thing. He can also say the reason neither of you want her 'popping in' is because of her recent behaviour. If she can see she is annoying him as well as you she should sloooowly learn. Maybe.

Everything you have to do with this woman is going to be turned into an opportunity for her to be a cow to you from now on. Just don't involve her in anything fairy.

flowers

Annonynon Fri 25-Oct-13 11:36:10

Why on earth would you let her talk to you like that?

fluffyraggies Fri 25-Oct-13 11:36:32

She needs to know that you have shown him her text and that you and he are unit. Not to be divided.

FunnyRunner Fri 25-Oct-13 11:42:03

She is mad, mad, mad! Quite mad! grin

Sorry OP it's a nightmare for you but honestly, I do enjoy reading about her antics and thanking baby Jesus and the saints that my MIL is lovely

It's all a bit sad really, isn't it? She obviously wants to see more of DSD and is desperate to feel involved but she can't seem to see that acting like a lunatic home invader isn't going to endear her to anyone.

I think you're unspeakably rude to your MIL. Let her come round on Tuesday and have a look for it herself. I'd be extra welcoming too in order to make up for how nasty you're being atm. You should get in extra biscuits and a plentiful supply of tea. You'll need them anyway for your new role of hosting the local fusion Lesbian and Naturists Tuesday Tea And Biscuits group. Invite your MIL round. Be inclusive. You can all play hunt the top together and she can see exactly how welcome she is. Smile lots. Introduce her to everybody. It's your duty.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Fri 25-Oct-13 11:45:50

1) You are NEVER being unreasonable when it comes to this woman. I get a sinking feeling when I see you've posted a new thread because I can't imagine what new insane stunt she could be pulling this time.

2) PLEASE tell her the lesbian friend line.

3) You might like to know that your MIL makes my frequently batshit crazy one look positively saintly.

GeraldineFangedVagine Fri 25-Oct-13 11:48:10

If it were me I would leave several massive dildo's, some ky jelly, a selection of phallic fruits and vegetables and three tins of squirty cream on the coffee table. Id give her the keys and be out when she comes round. Let the drama unfold.

timidviper Fri 25-Oct-13 11:49:44

It's a bit like dealing with trolls, any crumb of sustenance you give her will make her worse. Do not engage!

Agree with those who say show your DH the text as well

fairy1303 Fri 25-Oct-13 11:50:01

bloodystumps I would love you to give me an example go how I'm 'unspeakably rude'

diddl Fri 25-Oct-13 11:50:46

Give her the lid, change the locks & tell her that you don't want her round when your friend is there as she is an embarrassment.

Well she did ask!

littlewhitebag Fri 25-Oct-13 11:54:35

I think bloodystumps is being tongue in cheek!

ILoveTomHardy Fri 25-Oct-13 11:55:01

OP - I think that BloodyStumps was being sarcastic about your MIL.

fairy1303 Fri 25-Oct-13 11:56:33

Shit! Sorry I'm very tired and very grumpy and having humour fail!

Mim78 Fri 25-Oct-13 11:57:43

take it tonight. That is sooner than Tuesday so there is no reason for her to prefer to come then. Once she has it there is no reason for her to say she wants to "pop over".

fluffyraggies Fri 25-Oct-13 11:58:55

Ha ha, my hair all started to stand up on the back of my neck when i started to read show's post too OP grin

Like - whaaaaaaaaat?

But she was joking smile

ILoveTomHardy Fri 25-Oct-13 12:00:34

Your MIL is bang out of order and will continue to be bang out of order until someone puts a stop to it. If it were me, which I appreciate it isn't, I wouldn't have her in my house ever again until she can show some respect to you and your family.

Annonynon Fri 25-Oct-13 12:00:57

Have you replied to her? At the very least I would send a 'how dare you' message

Why are you putting up with this op? You really really don't have to

shimmeringinthesun Fri 25-Oct-13 12:01:01

Fairy, I've followed all your threads on your MIL and my heart goes out to you, and to any others who have to deal with this vitriol and stupidity on a daily basis. It is just not acceptable.

So:
NO - no to ever, ever, ever letting that woman have a key EVER again.
NO - to her dictating as and when you do anything EVER again.
NO - this is a great big NO to her getting away with ANY insinuations, no matter how ridiculous they are....her bloody duty to inform....dear god

It's your life to enjoy....keep her out of it, and Good luck.

Do they not teach sarcasm/tongue in cheekiness/passive aggression in schools anymore? Am I not in England? Pshaw!

I was being deadly serious. You owe this courtesy to your poor excluded MIL. You need to make her very, very welcome. And the surprise lesbian party is just the way to do it.

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