To not allow swimsuit stealing MIL to just 'drop in'

(281 Posts)
fairy1303 Fri 25-Oct-13 10:19:14

Posted many times about MIL.

DSD lives with us full time and MIl very VERy OTT with her/us - she used to be at our house nearly everyday, would take washing home, without permission, took her swimsuit home, is just generally a nightmare.

She recently kicked me out of her car in the rain, told me I was a rude bitch and tried to drive off with DS.

Now, in the interests of civility we have been rubbing along ok, but we have barely seen each other.

DSD had a plastic dressing table thing. We bought her a new grown up one and are passing on the small one to her cousin.

It comes with various accessories, hair brush, pretend perfume bottle etc.
MIL has taken the dressing table to her house as she is seeing the cousin next week before we do.

She has left the lid (small, plastic) of one of the 'perfume bottles' here. She has described where it is. I am seeing her tonight.

She wants to 'pop over' on Tuesday to find it herself. I have suggested I just give it to her tonight when we see her. She is not happy with this, wants to come on Tuesday. I have explained that I have a friend over on tues, may be in and out, is not convenient. She wants me to leave a key out for her and feels I am being completely unreasonable.

Am I? I can't see it anymore as I am too embroiled!

Well done if you have waded through the tedium and got this far!

Icelollycraving Fri 25-Oct-13 10:22:19

Read your other threads,I think take it tonight. Stop any further discussion on it.

CheeseandPickledOnion Fri 25-Oct-13 10:23:27

YANBU!

She's trying all her old tricks. Take it with you tonight, why wouldn't you?

FriskyHenderson Fri 25-Oct-13 10:23:44

Take it tonight. Does she still have a key?

KhunZhoop Fri 25-Oct-13 10:23:49

Just take it tonight, don't discuss it with her. And definitely don't let her pop round!

ShatnersEmptyCatacomb Fri 25-Oct-13 10:23:53

Give it to her tonight. That will be the end of it.

MoominsYonisAreScary Fri 25-Oct-13 10:24:30

So shes still being a nightmare! Just give it to her tonight

asmallandnoisymonkey Fri 25-Oct-13 10:24:44

I remember your previous threads about this woman. YANBU!
Do not give her the key, do not let her drop in. Frankly you've done more than is needed in explaining why she can't do it, all she needs to hear is 'no.'.

You've been polite and reasonable so far, just keep it up and remain firm. Good luck!

purplewithred Fri 25-Oct-13 10:24:54

Take it tonight. End of.

coppertop Fri 25-Oct-13 10:24:58

I remember your other threads.

She needs to stay out of your house. Either she accepts it tonight or you post it directly to the cousin.

yoshipoppet Fri 25-Oct-13 10:25:20

I bet she left it behind on purpose. So she could have a 'good excuse' to come back.

MsVestibule Fri 25-Oct-13 10:25:47

Can't you just take if over to her tonight, regardless of whether she wants you to? Then she'll have no reason to come over on Tuesday. Is she really likely to push it back to you and say "No, I'm making a special journey on Tuesday to collect it"?. I know she's barking (I remember your previous posts about her) but she wouldn't have a leg to stand on with this one.

LEMisafucker Fri 25-Oct-13 10:26:08

Give it to her tonight - don't be cowed by this woman - she is barking

CookieLady Fri 25-Oct-13 10:26:56

Take it with you tonight. Smile sweetly as you hand it over and explain you were only thinking of saving her time and effort. thlwink

DameDeepRedBetty Fri 25-Oct-13 10:27:43

Yes I remember previous threads. Take it over tonight. The last thing you need is her re-starting her invasions of your home again!

Bloody hell - this is a marathon rather than a sprint isn't it?!

Do not ever let her have unsupervised access to your housekeys. She'll copy them - you know she will.

Toddlers push and push at boundaries until they are quite sure they're in place. This is what your MIL is doing. Plenty more of this, I fear...

HumphreyCobbler Fri 25-Oct-13 10:28:50

she couldn't be more blatant in her desire to get into your house whilst you are not there. It would be so NORMAL just to give it to her tonight, the fact that she cannot see that her behavior is so far from what an ordinary person may expect is rather worrying.

fairy1303 Fri 25-Oct-13 10:32:27

Phew! I didn't think I was BU but I am a bit prickly about at the moment so it's difficult to tell! I will definitely bring it tonight.

No way was I going to leave my key out for her!! Took long enough to get the last one from her!

kimdeal Fri 25-Oct-13 10:33:33

UANBU-AYKI (and you know it, or at least you would were you not so embroiled) - what a pain in the bum. Yes to taking the key over this eve. Some people eh.

kimdeal Fri 25-Oct-13 10:34:26

xpost with you! grin (you are TOO embroiled!). Sympathy!

kimdeal Fri 25-Oct-13 10:34:57

Not the key! The lid! Arses.

PerpendicularVincentPrice Fri 25-Oct-13 10:36:21

I agree, take it over tonight and do not give her a key. I suspect she'd just copy it and take it as an excuse to snoop around when you weren't there!

CallMeNancy Fri 25-Oct-13 10:36:55

Just find it and take it to her. Don't discuss it.

Hand it over infront of someone else so she can't refuse to accept it.

CalamityKate Fri 25-Oct-13 10:40:28

Take it tonight. Nothing else makes sense. She's choc full o' nuts.

She doesn't give up, does she?

I think at some point you or you DH need to be incredibly specific: "we don't want anyone, not you, not anyone, in our house when we are not there. It is not open for discussion"

She is still trying to undermine you, to invade your space and mark it as her territory.

I don't say this lightly as I've known a few but what a fucking space cadet she is shock

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