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AIBU to think THESE PEOPLE are the reason.....

(202 Posts)
Hegsy Thu 24-Oct-13 14:03:35

for so many people to believe that everyone on benefits is 'scum'? I'm enraged! If he didn't get his benefits he would go robbing?!? WTactualF? I was on JSA earlier this year because of redundancy and all I received was a paltry £72 a week and my DH was expected to support me over and above that. How has this man gotten away with not working? and those poor babies, how is it healthy for the mother to have so many pregnancies so close together?

sorry its daily fail

He has such an entitled attitude! Gah!

EeTraceyluv Fri 25-Oct-13 22:00:54

Just going back to the 'you are paid if you are in the DM' Er, no. I was interviewed and photographed for a DM article once and asked if I would be paid for it. Absolutely not. Luckily they didn't use it, but I can assure you there is no fee attached

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Fri 25-Oct-13 21:20:36

oh and someone should take that fuckign python off him.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Fri 25-Oct-13 21:19:31

Can you take care a family that size without a washing machine and a fridge?

I wouldn't pay rent to live in a moldy shit hole either

Pixel Fri 25-Oct-13 20:44:55

I don't begrudge them a tumble dryer, I really don't care what gadgets or appliances people have, even big tvs if they insist, though they aren't to my taste.

I do care how little effort (not money) has been put into making the house into a home for the kids. The place is utterly grim and soulless, it looks like a squat rather than a place they have lived in for 8 years.

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 25-Oct-13 09:02:35

I expect they went to the papers to try and get their local authority to do something about the mould. I doubt it's anything like the Fail have reported.

32 grand isn't that much with that many children it won't go as far as people think.

However they are foolish for having so many children whilst not being able to afford them. Plenty have ended up in a situation where jobs have been lost and they were supporting themselves before bit this is different. They knowingly had child after child after child despite the situation they are in.

Children shouldn't be made to suffer for their idiot parents decisions though.

alemci Fri 25-Oct-13 09:00:24

I think he is selfish to have so many children he cannot afford. Why a python to add to the lack of space? Oh and another child on the way.

Stupid and irresponsible IMO.

He could cut his lawn could he not?

The house needs treating for the mould and refurbishing. Perhaps they could be rehoused but OOH I still think they shouldn't have had so many DC in the first place.

jammiedonut Fri 25-Oct-13 08:52:27

The house was probably mired by mould before they arrived. It's very hard to get a handle on it when it's taken hold for so long, it's not simply a case of cleaning it. I've lived in some shitty ha/ council places in my lifetime. I was loved, my parents worked, but we lived I homes with exposed concrete flours, mice infestations, mould, plaster crumbling off the walls. Anyone who looks at the family in the picture and envies them or begrudges them a tumble dryer need a slap to the head. I would not have chosen to have nine children (not sure my body would cope with that) but most people are one or two paychecks away from finding themselves in this position.

marriedinwhiteisback Fri 25-Oct-13 08:39:20

They need a bigger and better house because they have had more children than they can possibly afford. We couldn't have afforded nine or ten children so we would not have had them. I think the mould and damp need sorting. I don't see why they should be given a bigger property.

I'd have liked more children but I certainly didn't expect the state to fund them.

If the father wants a better home for his family I suggest he starts investing in condoms and starts working and earning.

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime Fri 25-Oct-13 08:24:28

The children are dressed and attend school, they don't seem wanting as parents and if there was a suggestion that they were, you can bet that the DM would of reported it.

birds - but they have a social worker so there is something not right about the family.

giving the parents a larger house will not make them better parents. they will be the same, just in a larger house.

he still wont be able to decide if he is too ill to work - or whether he is setting up his own business!!

i think we need to create a half way between taking children into care (which can obviously have its own problems) and leaving them with parents who are not responsible adults.

state boarding schools would enable the children to have a good learning environment and see a route out of their home life. hopefully breaking the cycle.

Trigglesx Thu 24-Oct-13 22:51:12

Ridiculous pointing out the game console and such. WE have a Wii console and games and such. But we didn't buy it - actually got it on MN doing a product test (thanks MN!) awhile ago. We certainly couldn't afford to buy it ourselves. And the Nintendo 3ds? That was a win from a draw on MN. So a couple higher priced items that someone might think "hmmmmm" about - and we didn't spend money on it.

It says they have 3 tvs but only shows 1. The other two could be little cheapies they got at a secondhand place. And so what if they have a decent telly anyway? With that many kids, you don't seriously think they take them all to amusement parks or the cinema, do you? It'd cost a fortune! A television is relatively cheap entertainment. (and last I checked, the poor were allowed to have one).

TotallyBenHanscom Thu 24-Oct-13 22:21:52

Disgusting newspaper. I wonder what the journalist and photographer were saying to the family as they were walking round taking pictures, probably telling them they were writing an article about the appalling living conditions the council were subjecting them to, whilst all the while planning to turn them into national hate figures (for Daily Mail readers anyway).

Despicable, but typical of them.

Pixel Thu 24-Oct-13 22:20:55

I was just going to say that even if you ignore the mould the house looks bleak, no comforts at all. The boy's room looks like a cell, it doesn't even look as if they have pillows on the beds. The girls don't have a curtain, there are no pictures, no books, rugs, lamps, nothing at all to make it homely or personal. If someone can't even be bothered to shorten a curtain so it fits then they aren't going to put themselves out to wash mould off the ceiling.

Bingdweller Thu 24-Oct-13 21:54:58

freakinrex apologies, I never responded. I'm no more from the DM than I am from Mars. I fucking hate that expolitative rag.

This family clearly need more than cash or a new house flung at them. I am just heart sorry for these poor little kids who could do better than to be plastered over a national newspaper. Whilst (on the whole) they look clean and nourished, their living circumstances are far from clean or ideal. That is not all down to the damp living conditions and their parents must bear some responsibility for the state of the house.

Don't know what happened there.

I want to know why, when we know the affect of growing up in unstable environments and having attachment issues, on women, counselling services for former Looked After and Adopted children are not heavily invested in and offered.

It is a common story that girls bought up within the care system have large families and babies at a young age, because if a unmet need in their own childhood.

SS and the HV want the family re-housed, because of the damp, so it isn't mold that will wash off.

The children are dressed and attend school, they don't seem wanting as parents and if there was a suggestion that they were, you can bet that the DM would of reported it.

I would also bet that there is stuff from the Dad's past that a large family and the insular relationship they have, fulfills.

We did once have larger Council houses but they were sold off, or demolished, we should have housing available for big families.

It's catch 22, really because if you are working then you buy a house and have the ability to up-size, but if you are not in stable work, then not providing decent Social Housing is a back door way of population control (just for the poor).

I want to know why, when we know the affect of growing up in unstable environments and having attachment issues, on women, counselling services for former Looked After and Adopted children are not heavily invested in and offered.

It is a common story that girls bought up within the care system have large families and babies at a young age, because if a unmet need in their own childhood.

SS and the HV want the family re-housed, because of the damp, so it isn't mold that will wash off.

The children are dressed and attend school, they don't seem wanting as parents and if there was a suggestion that they were, you can bet that the DM would of reported it.

I would also bet that there is stuff from the Dad's past that a large family and the insular relationship they have, fulfills.

We did once have larger Council houses but they were sold off, or demolished, we should have housing available for big families.

It's catch 22, really because if you are working then you buy a house and have the ability to up-size, but if you are not in stable work, then not providing decent Social Housing is a back door way of population control (just for the poor).

Do we want to go back to every working class family losing at least

HappyMummyOfOne Thu 24-Oct-13 21:45:42

"I'm embarrassed to live in a country as I do where children are still living in such conditions. It's not part of a civilised nation"

Why? The only people who are causing the chidren to live like that are their parents. They keep having children with little space and no jobs. Throwing money at people clearly doesnt work, £32k tax free and they live like that?

If we had no child related benefits them maybe personal responsibility would come into play for many more. Its one thing to need the safety net for a few months after redundancy but quite another purposely having children you cannot afford without tax payers help or having x number knowing if things go wrong in a relationship you cant support them. Outcomes for children on benefits are well below those not, why would anybody chose that for their children?

MidniteScribbler Thu 24-Oct-13 21:45:30

I think that aside from any other arguments, that these sort of articles should be banned when there are children involved. They're going to grow up, but someone will always be able to google.

NotYoMomma Thu 24-Oct-13 21:40:06

imo because they are selfish and the childrens health and living conditions are not their priority (sadly)

KenAdams England Thu 24-Oct-13 21:28:00

Why did they continue to have kids when the house was already overcrowded though? I just don't get why, if you lived in a house that was a state and you already have 5 kids, you'd then have another 5?

GobbolinoCat England Thu 24-Oct-13 20:56:59

I'm embarrassed to live in a country as I do where children are still living in such conditions. It's not part of a civilised nation

I disagree.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2474887/Is-Marias-REAL-family-Bulgarian-mother-quizzed-police-birth-records-suggest-gave-away-baby-Greece.html

Aside from the mould, the house could be OK.

The kitchen does look ok, and it does look tidy. The children look well dressed, the school girl looks smart and presentable. The children in the pics in the link look like they are living in true dire poverty.

Pixel Thu 24-Oct-13 20:55:51

Unfortunately the only way I can see to 'break the sad cycle' is to not give a bigger home to people who carried on and had five more children when they had no room for them. Some people are limited to one or two children due to being stuck in poky flats, so I don't think it's unreasonable to say that a couple who already had a decent-sized house and four children were being greedy by expecting more than that. As long as families like this are being rehoused in ever larger properties then they will encourage others to do the same, you will never break the cycle because then there is an obligation to the children who didn't ask to live like that.

GobbolinoCat England Thu 24-Oct-13 20:51:06

Triggle

Sorry to hear about your battle and the respirator problems your DC and DH faced.

Mould is a thing that is usually treated in a lassaiz faire way in the UK.

Once you sent the council the reading material on mould you were of course making them aware your children were sick and a high possibility due to mould. If they had kept you there with the papers you sent and one of your DC became severely ill or died, heads would have rolled.

Its easy for them to bat you away if you just keep saying, please fix mould.

Sending literature on the dangers and saying, please fix mould, are different things.
I am glad your current council is better at making repairs.
I can see water marks in some of those pictures.

NoFucker Thu 24-Oct-13 20:46:55

Actually looking again I'll say the house is in a tidy state. I regularly see houses with clothes and laundry piled up, where on earth have they stored everything for 11 people?! The kitchen is clean, lots of certificates for behaviour to note.

Yes the damp and paint is poor, but 9 kids in that overcrowded house will cause damage. My 4 cause bits of damage in their pampered spacious little world, for example the toddler drew on the walls.

IF they'd started the AIBU:

AIBU being unreasonable to think my landlord should redecorate and sort the damp problem for good, treatments are eating into the little money I have and I'm struggling as it is with 9 kids.

What would the answer be? I'm sure everyone would be shouting how outrageous it is. Surely the housing association inspect and know the house is in a state unfit for children yet have done nothing, that's not the kind of mould that builds in a few months or even a year.

I've rented a few times to young families, it goes with the territority they start off as poorly managing damp. I pop round, talk to them about ventilation and heating to ensure it doesn't get to that state. IF it got anywhere near I'd scrub it myself before environmental health were on me tbh as it's less hassle.

Saying they shouldn't have had them is pointless, they are here now. Lovely to read in a naitional paper lots of people wish you hadn't been born. I just had the odd spot to worry about at 13, national hatred would have been a bit tough....

Trigglesx Thu 24-Oct-13 20:46:15

When we lived in Devon in a council property, there was much much worse mould on the walls. Literally one wall (the one to the outside behind the toilet) was black. I couldn't clean it - it was crusted. It took us over TWO YEARS to get the council to fix it. They had to literally rip it out and redo the entire bathroom. They only did this after I took pictures of it all, copied articles about how mould is dangerous for children and those with respiratory problems (my DCs all have asthma, as does DH), a list of dates that people in the household had respiratory problems (practically all the time), and a very blunt letter stating that this was neglect on the part of the landlord as we had done everything in our power to rectify the problem. Within a month, they arranged for us to stay at a nearby holiday cottage while they tore out the bathroom.

I will point out, however, that it took hold for a few reasons - the extractor fan stopped working and they took ages to fix it. And we found out that some plumbing in the wall had been done improperly and had been slowly leaking into the wall for literally ages. We couldn't figure out how come it was always damp - they told us it was our fault. But opening the teeny window did nothing to help get the damp out.

The council where we currently live (we did a swap into a larger property with an elderly couple that wanted a smaller one) is brilliant about repairs.

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