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To expect teacher to ask DD 6 a few more questions about her illness when she is crying with pain?

(59 Posts)
GobbolinoCat Wed 23-Oct-13 22:00:57

Twice now the school has surprised me with this.

1) Sunday DD seems to be ill, dreadful headache, glassy eyes but no other symptoms.

Monday morning she seems totally fine, we send her to school she is v happy to go.

I email and call the school to tell them, she seemed to be v ill the day before but fine today however, she is shy and will probably not feel OK to approach a teacher yet to say she is ill. Can someone just ask her if she OK at some point to make sure, and if not I can pick her up.

NOTHING.

Pick up DD she looks horrendous, pale, red round eyes, tired, weeping, goes straight to bed when gets home and says no one asked her!

Call school, only get office staff who said she did pass on the message and someone told her to put her coat on confused. Didn't take it further as thought maybe they did ask her but that she did not relate that to me.

2).

DD sick sunday, off school Monday, mostly OK Monday back to school Tuesday, fine Tuesday and Tuesday night and Wed am.

Collect her Wednesday am and she is in another dreadful state, the lady has her arms round her, and as soon as she gets in the car she vomits everywhere, wailing with headache etc.

Ask her did she not tell the teacher and she said she did tell the teacher and the teacher said " don't cry".

That was it.

I do not know how to proceed with this, what is general policy?

I would expect a teacher or someone to notice she was ill as she is crying, pale, looks ill - it was obvious today, and ask her a few more questions and perhaps phone me to come and get her?

I took her to docs after and the doc was carrying her for me, I have never seen him be so nice, he was saying, you poor thing you don't look well! It was obvious she wasn't well and the teacher had spoken to her.

What do I say? Is this normal? Its just we get lots of strong messages to make sure the children go in...

ThankGodItsTuesday Wed 23-Oct-13 22:04:15

I think you need it keep her at home longer when she's been so unwell.

howmuchwouldyoutake Wed 23-Oct-13 22:04:23

You shouldn't have sent her if she'd been very ill the night before. You only have a sick child's say so that nobody asked - speak to the teacher if you like but you didn't seem to know how poorly she was so not sure about anyone else knowing.

What did the doctor say? Do you know what is wrong with her? Is she feeling any better now? I hope you are both ok.
As for the school, yes they should have rung you. Keep her home until you know that she is 100% better and next time keep her home if you suspect that she is ill and if they say anything point them to this occasion and say that you won;t risk it happening again.

GobbolinoCat Wed 23-Oct-13 22:12:02

1st time though Thank, there was no temperature, no D & V, she perked up Sunday PM and seemed fine Monday morning, there just didn't seem to be any signs of illness to keep her off for.

She was ill sunday, kept her off monday, fine tuesday, ill again today....

she started to feel un well at school....

He said its not pneumonia !!!!!

He said there is gastro intertitus going round at the moment and its probably that. She looks weak but has managed to keep down some diorlite.

I will def keep her off tomorrow.

I totally understand the usual, oh its a big class the teacher isnt a nurse, but it worries me that the teacher spoke to her, and she looked so ill, and she was left. There is also an after school club she was sent too, which she neednt have gone too.

What if it was something nasty.....she is always being sent home with head injury notes and things. It just seems a bit lax to me.

GobbolinoCat Wed 23-Oct-13 22:13:35

How do I approach this though? Say she was un well yesterday and vomited all over the car? Didn't anyone notice!?

Not sure what to say...I want them to know she was very poorely.

parakeet Wed 23-Oct-13 22:44:40

But suppose she didn't look like that most of the day and just suddenly got worse at home time?

Also re the first occasion, ridiculous to be expecting a teacher to be constantly asking a child if they are OK. If they are that bad, then keep them home.

GobbolinoCat Wed 23-Oct-13 22:51:10

Do you think Parakeet....

I have not had this border line not knowing before re the 1st time. They seem to want you to send them in.

I only asked that a teacher or TA could ask her if she was ok to make sure she knows that she can also tell them if she is ill. I was only expecting them to ask her once.

I do not know how schools deal with illness.

Yes she may have felt ill then, just before home time, the teacher definalty spoke to her, I am just wondering why they did not call me to spare her this extra club she went too.

ilovemountains Wed 23-Oct-13 22:53:05

If she vomitted today then It's normally a 48 hour exclusion policy, so she won't be back until next week. Hopefully she'll be fully recovered by then.

kinkyfuckery Wed 23-Oct-13 22:56:13

I don't get it, you say you picked her up Weds am? Surely someone did phone you then, so they did notice?

annie987 Wed 23-Oct-13 22:58:10

Often a child, even if feeling unwell in school, will not cry until they see the parent arrive to collect them.
I've often had children burst into years as they see mum arrive through the window so I send out a sobbing mess who has appeared fine to me all day'

annie987 Wed 23-Oct-13 22:58:48

Tears not years!

GobbolinoCat Wed 23-Oct-13 22:59:52

sorry typo not wed am wed after school.

GobbolinoCat Wed 23-Oct-13 23:05:35

True Annie, but the teacher at some point today most definalty saw her cry and said to her " don't cry".

Whether that was before home time or towards the end of the day I do not know.

However she then went on for another hour ( assuming they saw her ill before home time) to this after school thing.The lady from that ushered her to me, saying she had been crying and upset and desperate to get home.

I just feel stupid and helpless.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Wed 23-Oct-13 23:52:17

You get kids who complain of being ill and then are running around squealing with their friends five minutes later, so I can understand an initial reaction of "oh dear. Sit down quietly for a few minutes".

But it sounds like the child was quite obviously I'll and not herself so I wouldn't have dismissed her with the "my tummy hurts" brigade really. But if she is shy and new them the teacher may not know her well enough yet to have realised how out of sorts she was.

Yanbu to expect them to handle things better when they knew she was ill

GobbolinoCat Thu 24-Oct-13 00:06:02

Thanks NOT

I just wonder what the protocol is when a child is ill. what if it was serious?

How do teachers handle this? Do they ask pupils to come to them if they are sick? If my DD feels unwell and is shy who is she supposed to tell?

I keep asking her to tell the teacher but is she even supposed too?

Should I tell the school I am at home with the baby so she doesn't need to go to after school clubs etc if she is ill?

I am handing my DD over to them, and I feel they have a duty of care to her.

I just find it all a mixture of vague and frantic.

ICameOnTheJitney Thu 24-Oct-13 00:09:40

Look OP it's happened to my shy DD before...I never even thought to complain but explained to DD that she simply MUST tell the teacher if she's ill and they will call me to get her....it's a life lesson. You have to let your children learn from experience and not complain over every little thing.

Of course she is supposed to tell the teacher...the teacher has 29 other DC to watch over as well as teach....yes there are assistants but these thing do get missed.

GobbolinoCat Thu 24-Oct-13 00:14:19

Yes but Jitney, this is the point, there was communication between her and the teacher and I was not called.

I have been telling her to tell the teacher, the teacher was alerted and she did not call me and she went to after school club.

Is it a little thing if a child has a temp, look pale and is on verge of throwing up, complaining of legs aching and cant walk well?

Aside from vomiting everywhere I am not sure how much more ill she was supposed to be before help was called.

JoannaBaxterIsARudeFucker Thu 24-Oct-13 00:15:30

I think we get used to nursery/preschool etc sending them home as soon as they sneeze etc or look a bit pink. But at school they tend to keep them unless there are obviously unwell - eg boiling hot - vomited - big rash etc. And they don't know her as well as you do, to recognise when they look rather peaky.

I picked up DD and saw straight away she had chickenpox one day. Because I know how pasty she usually looks, know what she looks like when she is well rather than ill or just tired.

Don't be afraid to keep her off if you know she's not right. But they are teachers and TAs, they can't triage the children.

GobbolinoCat Thu 24-Oct-13 00:16:00

Even the after school club? That lady who walked her to the car why did she not call me sooner?

It just worries me a great deal. I am more than happy to keep her at home and be more cautious and have her off more days than she needs, but then the school send out strong messages about getting them in, but then they cant seem to cope with sick children.

BackforGood Thu 24-Oct-13 00:17:45

It's not a good idea to ask children if they are feeling ill, if they are not indicating they are. Children often tell parents they have a tummy ache or whatever before they go to school, and then they forget all about it once they are busy at school. If you ask them, then it reminds them - not helpful when there are some children who just prefer the idea of a day at home.
Not saying your dd was, but as you were asking about policy generally.

GobbolinoCat Thu 24-Oct-13 00:18:45

I would say she almost looked delirious, which is why after the vomiting when I got her home, she didnt pick up, I took her physically to the docs and said I have my DD in the car I know its late but can someone just look at her!

Its just the lines of communication seem lost.

I can call and tell the office she isn't well but they probably wont feed back that she was sick as soon as in car.

I want them to call me if she is crying, and doesn't feel well. I want her to come home.

GobbolinoCat Thu 24-Oct-13 00:20:31

I do understand that aspet, I can see how it can be abused and children start to feel sorry for themselves and over react.

On the other hand, cant some serious things slip through the net if the teachers are not more alert? she was crying and was told not to cry.

JoannaBaxterIsARudeFucker Thu 24-Oct-13 00:22:02

But she wasn't very poorly, she has a bit of a temp and was sick.

They get these things a lot. A minor illness that you can look after at home is not very poorly .

Do you worry about her a lot, do you think? And I mean that nicely, IYKWIM.

GobbolinoCat Thu 24-Oct-13 00:25:42

We know that now Joanna, but children can recover very quickly and also go down hill quickly esp when we do not know what is wrong.

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