To be so fucking sick of cooking food that my DS's don't eat...

(87 Posts)
GoofyIsACow Wed 23-Oct-13 17:55:34

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh

Is all

angry

SatinSandals Thu 24-Oct-13 07:22:54

They generally start being fussy eaters around 2 yrs. you can give snacks, you just stop giving them if they are filling up so that they are not hungry for meals and you don't offer one instead of a meal.

shelley72 Thu 24-Oct-13 09:14:52

This makes me mad too. But because of the waste. Food is so expensive, and I see money being thrown away. Unfortunately the children don't realise sad

AnyFuckerGotBunnywhacked Thu 24-Oct-13 10:30:11

I started avoiding putting things they hated on a plate like mushrooms for ds i would spend ages fishing them out then dd announced she hated several things and didn't want them on the plate and ds2 hated pretty much everything so now i just cook something i fancy chuck it all down with a bit of bread and butter each so I know they have had something if they eat it great if they don't fine but don't try asking for anything else later. DD11 now eats most things ds10 still has food issues with somethings ds6 still won't eat much but he hasn't starved yet

GoofyIsACow Thu 24-Oct-13 11:13:14

Tonight it starts, thankyou, i am really glad i posted this. DH has the Italian 'if you dont eat you will die' gene and so gives them other stuff (especially the DT's) if they don't eat, i always felt a bit harsh saying no!

Tonight I am going to make chicken curry and they will either eat it or not.

thanks

LittleMissCrankyPants Thu 24-Oct-13 11:25:46

I've got absolutely sick of wasting good food over the years with the 'if you don't want it, don't eat it' and then scraping it in the bin. I now ask the 12 & 9 year olds 'we are eating xxxx for tea do you want some' if they say no then they just get themselves beans on toast or pasta etc. I refuse to waste good food anymore.

DanielHellHoundMcSpaniel Thu 24-Oct-13 11:35:34

I know exactly where you're coming from and I have also spent too long pandering/getting worked up about DS1 (3.1) faffing about with his fork, saying he's not hungry, wanting to get down etc.

Tonight I'm doing spanish omelette and he can sit down at the table and choose to eat it, or not. He will half an hour, as will DS2 (9m) who will finish in about 10 minutes he's such a piggy and thats it. I am being HARD mummy <mean stare>

Good luck with the curry tonight.

littlegem12 Thu 24-Oct-13 12:23:54

galwaygirl you can start at any age I've never given ds snacks in hes life he has brekki and 2 cooked meals a day (cooked in bulk and warmed up, I'm not organised enough to cook fresh) followed by snacky puds (biscuits/ fruit/ yogs) hes only 18 months now so hasn't reached the massive age of resistance yet but he did have an appetite drop at 14 months and started fiddling around with lunch so instead of changing to snacks I put lunch back an hour (and dinner back to compensate for late lunch) and now he eats same as before. He is a bit of a chubster and he's never i'll so I dont worry hes not getting enough.
Im a real pig myself I always open the cupboards if I'm bored and I don't want my son to have the same food to change your mood habit I have, I also want him to grow up knowing its not dangerous to feel hungry for a while when a meal comes along 3 times a day there's no need to nip mild hunger in the bud quickly.

paperdress Thu 24-Oct-13 13:19:18

littlegem - thats really interesting. I know i use snax as a boredom/ frustration filler a bit for my 2 DS; i feel sorry for them when they have to be in pram (they r twins so when im on my own we have to get from a to b in pram). They r v active energetic boys so i know they dont like the pram and i compensate with snax. Obv. try to keep it healthy (fruit, crackers) but dont know if i'd have guts on a longer trip i.e. Few shops to endure the grizzles and demands of 'OUT OUT!' and glares from gen pub (who have prob never had to look after 2 toddlers all day). My mum and OH are better at tolerating the experience but then they only have then on their own occasionally.
I wish i gave less of a shit about those judgemental stares but i guess that is a whole other thread...

Custard I thought it was just my boy that didn't like banana. After a few times of preparing them, I gave up. He doesn't like the texture, so I just make banana smoothies now, he loves them.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 13:30:41

I have toddlers and don't do snack either unless we'reout aand I'm bribing them to be quiet which is rare. Or they've just spent an hour running at the park, and then it'll be fruit or something with lots if water

I'm always surprised by play groups where people bring two or three snacks to last the child an hour and half! And then they moan the children don't eat a thing hmm

Uh, yeah you've just given him a full meal of crackers cheese and fruit!

That could be competitive "look how concerned I am parenting" though.

ToffeeWhirl Thu 24-Oct-13 13:46:57

Marking my place because I want to find any useful tips. I was made to sit and eat my meals as a child and it made me so miserable that I vowed never to do that to my DC. As a result, I have been very laid back about eating and never insisted on my children eating things they don't want. I now have two boys who don't eat much and are both underweight confused. Admittedly, DS1 has a medical problem which has contributed to this, but DS2 is just plain fussy.

I love planning and preparing meals, but it upsets me so much when the children won't eat and the food ends up in the bin. More so now that I'm worried they are not eating enough! Am beginning to wonder if I am just a really dreadful cook sad.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:01:56

Personally I pick my battles, I cook healthy food I know ds will eat, it's only in the last couple of years, he's 12 now, that he has become adventurous with food - now he will happily sit and suck the heads of prawns and tuck into a big dish of whitebait.

I stuck to foods he would eat but always introduce something new as a 'just try it and see' option but never as the main course, he could just try what we were having so it removed the pressure.

I wouldn't even bother cooking curry for kids that age OP unless you know they will eat it. Cook the curry for you and grill their portion of chicken.

Sitting down all together and food in the middle of the table is nice too so kids can help themselves to a little or a lot - better than being presented with a plate of food they have to wade through ime.

it's soul destroying cooking food that people turn their noses up at.

You mention the older child used to eat a wider range of food - that's really common, I think their taste buds change or something and they start to get 'fussy.'

One thing I will not tolerate is dramatics or rudeness though, a simple no thank you is sufficient, any wailing about 'being poisoned' is given very short shrift wink

littlegem12 Thu 24-Oct-13 14:03:46

Colder thats so true re snack club playgroups.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 14:05:18

wouldn't even bother cooking curry for kids that age OP unless you know they will eat it.

I'm pretty sure there are whole countries with kids that age eating curry

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:08:21

unless you know they will eat it

Did you not read that part of my post? grin

Crowler Thu 24-Oct-13 14:10:40

It makes me crazy with rage.

My oldest is like this. He'll faff about at dinner time, not eat anything, and re-enter the kitchen 45 minutes later and begin by "absentmindedly" picking up a tiny morsel from his plate that I've left there. Then, he inches his way to the fridge and "absentmindedly" eats a small amount of fruit. Then he inches his way to the pantry and "absentmindedly" takes a bag of potato chips.

It makes me feel like throwing him across the room sometimes. I don't really make controversial food; everything that I make, he has happily eaten at some point.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:11:32

I wouldn't bother making my ds cauliflower cheese, he HATES it, really doesn't enjoy it at all. He will just about eat plain cauliflower though, so dh and I have cc and ds has it plain.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:12:14

Arf @ controversial food grin

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 14:30:47

OP doesn't know what they will eat day to day as they are fussy and go back and forth on it. Her best bet really is starve em till them eat. Unless she thinks there may be some special needs, kids will eat eventually, especially if it is something they have previously eaten

And they are only 2, so she has to start now with curry etc so it's a part of what they consider regular food. I get the impression that people think British children have inferior taste buds some times grin

(wonders if mumsnet India and and mumsnet Japan have parents moaning their children will only eat chips and chicken nuggets)

I'm a vegetarian and so are my kids though so I have to be really hardcore abut getting them to try new foods as a fussy vegetarian won't have any dinner invites... hmm

wasabipeanut Thu 24-Oct-13 14:42:19

I sympathise. DS1 (6) is inclined to faffing with food and both he and DD (3) eat soooooo slowly. Mainly because they are too busy talking. DS2 is still at that lovely pre 2 year old phase where he basically eats everything. I avoid things they hate (only chicken and eggs in DS1's case) and have a take it or leave it approach.

I find its helpful to leave the room. I MN round the corner as their faffing annoys me and I don't want to turn mealtimes into a row. No anger or cajoling if they don't eat but no pudding/snacks etc. I'm actually really tight with snacks anyway - an apple two hours before a meal seems to really dent their appetites so I avoid where possible.

I often wish I had kids who are always claiming to be hungry. Mine never seem to be.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:50:24

they are fussy and go back and forth on it

If that's the case and they have eaten something at least twice before then it would be take it or leave it in this house too. That's just attention seeking nonsense <harumpphh! Hoiks bosom>

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 15:30:03

Right there with you sister

<no bosom to hoike>

GoofyIsACow Thu 24-Oct-13 15:44:00

Actually curry is one of the things I have known all three to eat at some point! Whether they will partake this eve is anyones guess!

Sixtiesqueen Thu 24-Oct-13 15:53:04

What about when you eat out and you end up in some place that does frigging fish fingers because you know they will eat fishfingers.

We have been on holiday in London all week, surrounded by glorious places to eat (not to mention really interesting things to do, though we can't do them because we have the kids with us). We have found ourselves eating in places we really don't want to eat just to be able to feed the youngest.

Every restaurant ought to sign up to a kids' menu which comprises fishfingers and chips/spag bol or bangers and mash. Even Indian restaurants. Their trade would soar.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 16:08:55

OP in that cue then it is curry or nothing! grin

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