To ask how on earth to deal with deliberately negative people?

(32 Posts)
simpleth1ngs Wed 23-Oct-13 07:45:07

I work with a guy who is the most negative person I've ever met. I know him quite well now and he has no significant family/childhood/health problems, but will merrily admit he enjoys complaining. It's relentless and he gets himself really wound up about nothing, and can rant about the weather or customers for hours. It's like it's a deliberate personality trait and I can tell he's hurt if I am short with him or leave the room but I CANNOT TAKE IT when he does it and I am unwell or in a bad mood myself. Isn't it polite to make small talk that isn't angrily raising your voice? It's got to the point where all our colleagues avoid him and I give one-word answers as much as possible.

How should I deal with him?

Viviennemary Wed 23-Oct-13 11:55:32

Years and years ago I worked with an older guy. If anyone asked him how he was he always had a miserable face and said mustn't grumble in the grouchiest voice. And someone said he never does anything else. Strangely enough his wife was a cheery soul and very nice too!

Dubjackeen Wed 23-Oct-13 11:59:40

Vague responses can work, so if you have a computer screen in front of you, murmur oh yeah, politely, but without looking away from the screen. If he keeps saying something, drag your eyes away reluctantly from the screen, and respond vaguely again, as though you haven't really heard, and you are fascinated with what is on the screen. Eventually, he might get tired of not getting any other response.

curbyburr Wed 23-Oct-13 12:01:33

Why are you putting up with this at all? Where I work this kind of bahaviour would not be tolerated, and met with a resounding 'Bore Off mate!!' every time he started...
I do work on a trading floor though, not much of anything is tolerated on any level
grin

NotDead Wed 23-Oct-13 12:08:20

I can't believe how moaning about someone moaning has got you all moaning about various people in your past and present who were moaning.. welcome to the british winter! I mean jesus, haven't you all got anything better to do than go round and round making the same point over and over again about how negative and draining it is to hear people going on about people who aren't changeable or who don't magically start off in the same emotional state as you?!

I mean essentially all you are doing is going on about other people who in your eyes are responsible for you feeling bad because its their fault that you listen to them! What is that all about?! IF its not your dad, then its the plumber or another guy at work who likes trains or whatever, or some old lady complaining about the weather or being too hot or too cold I mean honestly its such a whinge fest in here! The air needs to be fresher than it is with you lot complaining about complaining, I mean its as if you've got nothing better to do than fire up whatever tecnhonlgy you have and complain about people! Heaven forbid that anyone would notice etc etc etc

ZippityDoodahday Wed 23-Oct-13 12:12:59

My BIL is like this & it's rubbing off on my Dsis. It's bloody annoying. They are never satisfied with the here & now. They do nothing to improve what ails them. They just can't stop moaning. It's a right PITA.

NotDead Wed 23-Oct-13 12:17:24

bastards I can't believe it.

CooEeeEldridge Wed 23-Oct-13 12:20:03

You moaning about us moaning about them moaning not dead?? grin

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