Is he doing this deliberately?

(227 Posts)
Wuldric Wed 23-Oct-13 00:54:48

I asked DH to cook Sunday lunch this weekend. He blanched, but when I pointed out that the DCs were doing breakfasts, I had done Friday evening, Saturday lunch and evening, and Sunday evening, he manned up.

It was a roast. What could be easier? It's all peeling and chopping. So this is what happened.

Roast lamb - I would have cooked this with slivers of garlic, plenty of rosemary, salt, black pepper and red wine, and served it pink and juicy and delicious. We got dry and overcooked lamb. No extras. You try overcooking lamb until it is dry. It is not good. In fact it is pretty hard to overcook lamb until it is inedible. DH, however, succeeded.

Roast potatoes - Roasties are simples. You boil some potatoes, drain and slather them in goose fat (we have jars of the stuff) and salt and black pepper. Never leave them in for longer than an hour. DH presented us with roasties that had been carbonised. I have never tasted such things. Imagine something black on the outside, and the inside had shrivelled and detached from the outside. Little buttons of burned stuff.

Gravy - he presented us with bisto granules. I have binned this stuff since I saw it creeping into the cupboard. They are nonsense. Nasty and artificial and somewhat sinister. And lumpy.

Vegetables - I don't even want to tell you about the vegetable abuse. You would call vegetable social services. In any event, they were so soggy that they were almost liquified. You try presenting liquified carrots and parsnips. It takes a real man to liquify a parsnip without electrical assistance.

Yorkshire puddings - purists amongst you will have noticed that the roast in question was lamb. Yorkshire puddings are served with beef. DH is from Yorkshire therefore feels that no meal is complete without a Yorkshire Pudding. Despite his undoubted Yorkshire heritage, DH managed to serve black nuggets. Black nuggets are never ever going to catch on. I understand now why the smoke alarm kept going off repeatedly.

He is doing this deliberately, isn't he?

Monty27 Wed 23-Oct-13 01:03:10

I have no words to say. None.

Well, I'll ask a question if that's ok. Can he normally cook?

NatashaBee Wed 23-Oct-13 01:09:16

grin At 'vegetable social services'!

But I think you're being a little unreasonable. It was definitely his turn to cook, but to some people a roast (especially lamb rather than chicken, which its hard to ruin) is really difficult - they find it hard to coordinate everything so it's all cooked all at the same time. I would at least help him out by writing him a time plan to tell him when each item had to start cooking.

Greendove Wed 23-Oct-13 01:09:59

Don't let him get away with this! Make him do it again next week but stand over him being a Spoony Fucker. He will get the message hopefully

Monty27 Wed 23-Oct-13 01:15:35

Aaargh at having to teach a dh/df/dw (whatever) person to cook. I'm a rubbish cook, but I could have done that, and wouldn't have wasted lamb. as I can't afford it so it would have been a treat

MagzFarqharson Wed 23-Oct-13 01:22:45

Yes, in the same way as they are 'useless' at ironing, washing up, hoovering and cleaning the toilet.

'You can do it so much better than me'

Fuckers

kmc1111 Wed 23-Oct-13 01:24:11

Has he actually done a roast before? All the elements are easy on their own, but combine them and it's a lot to handle if you aren't used to having 5-6 different things on the go. I burnt everything the first time I cooked a roast.

raisah Wed 23-Oct-13 01:28:26

Write a plan with timings for this Sunday & read it to to to him before he starts cooking.

Once he has finished cooking, get the kids in and grade his offerings from 1 - 10 (1 being crap). Repeat exercise every week until he perfects it enough to be trusted to cook the main event - Christmas dinner! He should not be told this of course until December 24.

MidniteScribbler Wed 23-Oct-13 01:30:46

If you're such an expert at cooking roasts, then do it yourself.

Lj8893 Wed 23-Oct-13 01:31:12

Yabu. And yanbu.

Yes it was his turn to cook.

However, I wouldn't have a clue to cook a roast dinner blush so perhaps this is the case for him?!

AdoraBell Wed 23-Oct-13 01:36:26

I wouldn't have asked for a roast, tbh. If I want something they way I cook it then I cook it. On the odd occasion my DH cooks I'll tell him what I would have done had he not been roped in if he tríes to play dumb asks me, or otherwise leave him to decide.

But yes, don't fall into a 'he's useless at cooking so I'll do it myself' trap. He can cook if he puts his mind to it, just let him use his flair and imaginación next timewink

GoldiChops Wed 23-Oct-13 01:52:53

Done on purpose? 'Oh no!' You say 'Look at this! I'll do it next time'. It's like breaking every other plate when washing up so you never have to do it again.

Although, I'm not from Yorkshire but never heard of only having Yorkshire puds with beef. We have them with every roast!

MrsBranestawm Wed 23-Oct-13 02:20:49

I think you are being a bit U. You think a roast is easy. Inexperienced cooks find it is difficult to have all the constituent parts ready at the same time. As do disorganised cooks. And lazy cooks, like me. I don't like cooking a roast. Too much hovering over the cooker, checking things, putting things in the oven, out of the oven, keeping warm, all that. I'd rather cook a casserole (leave in the oven for ever then eat when hungry) or an omelette (ready in five mins) than lose a whole Sunday morning cooking a roast.

Is he good at cooking other stuff, OP?

Yabu. And smug. I would hate to cook for someone that told me precisely what I was to make and then told the world how much I screwed it up. Next time it is his turn to cook let him male whatever he wants to cook and is good at. Even if it is just beans on toast.

You're wrong about Yorkshire pudding only going WITH beef. Traditionally they are eaten BEFORE the meal, as a filler, so that whatever type of meat is being served it can be eked out further as the diners have already quashed their hunger with cheap, filling and stodgy Yorkshire pudding.

Many older people in Yorkshire still do this, my family included, although now it's habit rather than necessity.

Opalite Wed 23-Oct-13 02:47:12

If nothing else, it's a waste of perfectly good food!
If this is a one off then oh well, if this happens a lot when he cooks then I think he should definitely try harder, he is feeding this food to his family after all. I'm not fussy but I wouldn't be able to eat burnt roast potatoes or yorkshire puddings confused

Timpetill Wed 23-Oct-13 03:06:03

YABU and smug. If its his turn to cook, he can make what he wants, rather than being dictated to and set up to fail. I bet the first time you did a roast it wasn't perfect either. Your attitude is condescending and if it were directed at me I would fling the whole meal in the bin and leave with the kids for a restaurant, leaving you sitting alone and hungry in your superiority.

GrandstandingBlueTit Wed 23-Oct-13 04:01:28

LOL, your OP was brilliant.

Yes, of course he is doing it on purpose. So you play him at his own game, surely?

Clearly he needs a lot of practice to improve his cooking skills. So, you suggest that he cooks 2 or 3 nights a week to improve his offering.

He can then keep cooking crap if he wants to, but given that he will now be serving up nearly 50% of the evening meals – and presumably eating them to – there is a definite incentive there to get better at it fast. smile

Libertine73 Wed 23-Oct-13 04:13:18

Didn't you keep an eye on it op? I always poke my head round pretending to get a drink, annoying to the dp? Definitely, but has saved many a dinner smile

Roshbegosh Wed 23-Oct-13 05:11:12

Maybe there are some things you can leave to him and you do the cooking. Do you feel good telling us all how crap he is compared to you?

ElleBellySkellington Wed 23-Oct-13 05:49:51

I wouldn't be able to cook a roast I don't think, but I've been known to ruin saucepans just boiling potatoes. Detailed instructions next time. Or let him choose what's on the menu so he's confident with it!

Thumbwitch Wed 23-Oct-13 06:00:04

A vote for "Yes, he did it deliberately".

My brother always used to do a stunningly shit job of washing up, so Mum would re-do it. This was her mistake - she should have made HIM re-do it until he got it right - that would have stopped the nonsense pretty quickly!

Your DH needs to practise - I suggest that you give him that opportunity. Roasts are really very easy to cook edibly, if not necessarily to your standards.

Brittabot Wed 23-Oct-13 06:42:49

Just trying to imagine how annoyed I would be if my DH insisted I made a roast and then listed my shortcomings as it's not as good as his! YABU!

BalloonSlayer Wed 23-Oct-13 06:52:20

What were you all doing in the hour between the time when it was ready and obviously ok, and the time when it was all burned?

Were you out?

Did you say "um DH that looks ready now," and he replied crossly "no, NO, it's not ready at all, stop interfering" - in that case YANBU.

If you were all in the house, and you sat there saying nothing watching it all get ruined just so you could post a heee-lairious post on MN, then you're a bit PA and nasty TBH.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 23-Oct-13 06:53:35

"I would have cooked"

If you wanted it that way you should have done it.

other than that. What Brittabot posted.

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