To be sitting crying because we managed to leave DS1's beloved Teddy behind on holiday. And furious at Dh for not checking.

(200 Posts)
SayMyNameSayIt Tue 22-Oct-13 21:19:17

Sorry if this sounds really stupid. DS1 has had Teddy since he was a baby, he's 6 and a half now. Teddy is so thin and threadbare now but DS1 loves him so much and would sleep with Teddy across his nose, inhaling him.

We were staying at a villa, I was packing all our stuff. Asked DH to pack food etc from the kitchen, and check the rooms. Got to the airport and suddenly I realised I wasn't sure if Teddy had been packed. Cue a big row and Dh getting all annoyed at being asked if he'd packed him or seen him.

I texted the villa rep who went straight there and asked the maids to check if Teddy had been caught up in the sheets etc, which I strongly suspected.

Rep has got back to me saying they've checked and he was back at the villa today to close it for the season and no sign. DS1 is trying to be all tough and pretend he's not that bothered. But I know he is, he said, teddy and I have been together for so long.

I know it's totally irrational and stupid but I'm actually sitting crying. He has loads of teddies and cuddly toys, but Teddy was special. I envisaged keeping him myself when ds1 was all grown up. I feel awful for him that I, myself, didn't think to check before we left.

Teddy wasn't glued to ds1's side, not by any means. Well, not for a long time anyway. Yes, ds1 could have thought to get him himself. I suppose I'm crying for the loss of that wee boy with his teddy as well.

I could get another the same, and ds2 has the same one. But ds1 said he would want him to be the same, which would take years. Think The Velveteen Rabbit.

I very very rarely post a thread, please don't shoot me down in flames. I'm honestly so upset, not a wind up. ( I think I'm just posting to vent, Dh is watching the footy and I doubt he'd understand how I feel anyway. )

MetellaEstMater Tue 22-Oct-13 21:22:41

Not unreasonable at all. I thought DD had lost her special bear at a wedding recently and also cried. Fortunately, he turned up under the passenger seat in the car.

VivaLeThrustBadger Tue 22-Oct-13 21:24:10

Ahhh, I'd be upset too. At least ds isn't really upset.

FTRscreamingInTerror Tue 22-Oct-13 21:24:34

Yanbu I'd be gutted if DS lost his special stuffed toy.
No words of wisdom just sorry you're sad sad

AmberLeaf Tue 22-Oct-13 21:24:54

I think YAB a tad U.

If it mattered that much to your DS he'd probably have remembered himself.

Maybe your DS decided now was the time to say bye bye to Teddy.

MissStrawberry Tue 22-Oct-13 21:25:48

YANBU

I am still upset we have lost Piglet. I bought 2 and we lost them both in the same fortnight. One turned up, the other never did. We bought loads but none were right.

Anyway, enough of that. This is not the first time this has happened and MN has a reputation for getting things back to their owners so get started on posting a thread and someone will bring teddy home to your brave boy. Sometimes lost teddies have been naughty and gone off on an adventure on their own but at least they sent postcards...

FunkyBoldRibena Tue 22-Oct-13 21:26:00

Teddy has either absconded for an extended holiday...or he met a lady Teddy and just had to spend the rest of his life with her. We will never know. Lucky Teddy.

picnicbasketcase Tue 22-Oct-13 21:26:25

YANBU. My eldest is 11 and still has a bear sitting in his room he's had since he was born, and deep down, if anything happened to it we'd both be gutted. Your DS is still only little really, no matter how tough he acts. sad for you both.

Have you unpacked everything? Is there any chance he might turn up?

TallyGrenshall Tue 22-Oct-13 21:26:53

O no sad

Years ago, my nephew buried his beloved stuffed owl on the beach and was heartbroken. He wrote a letter to the council (Great Yarmouth) and they sent him a lovely letter back explaining they couldn't find it but they had found a baby owl and would he look after it for them. He was so happy, and still has the replacement owl.

Could you try that and write a letter to the hotel? I know it won't be Teddy but it might cheer him up a little bit

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 22-Oct-13 21:27:44

I know exactly how you feel.

My little brother lost his special bear on holiday one year, and we never got it back. It makes me sad to this day.

DS1 lost his little bear/comforter thing and I managed to get another identical one and he never noticed - it only worked because he was still little though, he was 3 at the time. Now he would notice the swap I am pretty sure.

sad for you

MimiSunshine Tue 22-Oct-13 21:31:17

Urm sorry but yes YABVU to be furious with DH. Why is it his fault it was left? Because you asked him to check the rooms? Well sorry but you were packing so you share equal responsibility.
Ok so you and your son are upset but your DH didn't actually leave it behind on purpose. Are you also a bit mad because you didn't do one last sweep yourself and think you'd have spotted it if you had

sarahtigh Tue 22-Oct-13 21:31:18

YANBU to be upset and hope DS is ok, my DD has special cat she is nearly 4 and would be really really upset, however I do think she would get over it OK in a week or so though not forget entirely

however I do not think it is entirely fair to blame DH for it all, checking rooms to me means opening wardrobes and drawers to check they are empty not stripping beds to check for things inside them; I knowing DH would have checked myself we have rules about cat he is only allowed out of house for holidays and then has to stay in car or at the other house he is not allowed to go to beach supermarkets etc as I can't watch cat all the time and she would not watch him herself well enough it is too much to expect a 3/4 year old to be entirely responsible for safety of a toy

my DH does understand how much DD loves cat but if she was lost he would comfort DD but he would not travel 100's of miles to retrieve he would go 30 miles though, he would also say no point in being upset if it can't be changed and try and persuade DD to adopt another as favourite he would not be as upset as DD and would not expect me to be upset about toy only to feel sorry DD had lost it

girliefriend Tue 22-Oct-13 21:33:16

Ohh bless you yanbu, I would be the same.

Dd has a blankie that she has slept with every night since she was a baby, for some reason one day it came to flipping ikea with us. While I was getting the lunch at the cafe she came over hysterical that a woman had taken it!! My blood honestly ran cold with fear that we would never see blankie again, cue me running around near hysterical asking every woman in the near vicinity if they had seen it!!

It was one of those situations that pre children I would have never understood!!

Thank God we found it and dd is right now snuggled up with blankie in bed smile

I hope teddy turns up.

SayMyNameSayIt Tue 22-Oct-13 21:34:00

Thanks for your replies, I wasn't really expecting any!! I've told ds1 that the cat who adopted us probably sneaked him away and is cuddling teddy right now, to remember ds1. This seemed to appease him.

Tbh, ds1 isn't that bothered about him at night, it's really me who makes sure they are both together, but he dies then like to place him over his nose and woe betide if he ever needs washed!

amberleaf yes you're right, I know that. If he was that bothered, he'd have got him himself. Ds2 packed his teddy for going home.

I guess I'm annoyed at myself for not making sure we had him. I made sure teddy came with us in the first place!!!!

I'm still certain teddy was caught up in the laundry, as we did check the place before leaving. And teddy was still in bed, so to speak.

Oh, maybe he will still turn up in the laundry. Just mad st myself now! Thanks again.

somersethouse Tue 22-Oct-13 21:34:46

Yesterday I though DD 5, had lost her special toy that she has had since 3 days old. My heart nearly stopped. I know how you feel. We found it, but, I really know what you mean and how you feel.

YANBU.
So sorry.

Rhubarbgarden Tue 22-Oct-13 21:35:16

I would cry too. sad

Actually I did just shed a little tear at the owl on the beach story.

DontCallMeDaughter Tue 22-Oct-13 21:36:27

I'd be upset too, my DD love love loves her teddy and I think we'd all be gutted if we lost him.

YANBU, at all
These things matter to DCs, and you must feel horribly guilty and angry at the same time.
I went through various traumas with my favourite ted (including someone setting the primary school cloakroom on fire the day I brought him in!) and would be gutted if I'd lost him.

Not sure what to suggest, sorry. I know it sounds daft, but I would treat it as a mini-bereavement, like the family dog had died or something.

somersethouse Tue 22-Oct-13 21:37:11

He may well turn up in the laundry. What country were you in? People generally will help if they can. If it is Spain for example, they will send it back.

CambridgeBlue Tue 22-Oct-13 21:37:31

You are so NBU, that would make me cry buckets too <makes OP feel even worse>. Doesn't sound like it was really anyone's fault but it is sad. Hopefully your DS doesn't mind as much as you do, I think it's the associations that are upsetting as you said. I think the postcard idea is fantastic if he is a bit down about it.

ajandjjmum Tue 22-Oct-13 21:40:34

DS had a teddy, imaginatively named Ted, and wouldn't go to sleep without him. We got scared and bought Ted 2, who tended to stay at my parents, where DS often napped.

After a while he noticed the difference, and we were then responsible for Ted and Ted 2.

They are the most well travelled bears in history. They've been left all over the world (normally under bedlinen when we've vacated various hotels), and have been shipped back to us.

I would have been gutted too if they'd gone missing - DS (and Teds) are now 21, but I'd still shed tears if they were lost. He doesn't actually sleep with them now though! grin

Rhubarbgarden Tue 22-Oct-13 21:41:34

I thought we'd lost ds's sacred Cow at the Natural History Museum on Sunday. I nearly cried when I saw him sitting on top of the till in the gift shop. Ds hadn't even noticed he'd dropped him.

ElleBellySkellington Tue 22-Oct-13 21:41:56

I'm sorry. I'd feel shitty too, when we lost a Henry (blue elephant from tesco!) dd was gutted, and we have three others. I really hope he turns up for you.

SayMyNameSayIt Tue 22-Oct-13 21:43:02

mimisunshine and sarahtigh

Yes you're right of course, it's myself I'm mad at!!! Though I think my real annoyance is that Dh wasn't that bothered when I asked if he'd packed teddy, and it did escalate into a row in the check in queue.

I normally pack EVERYTHING !!! That way, I know we've got everything. Just shows you, don't deviate from your chosen role as chief nag organiser!! And no, he'd never think to check sheets etc, but teddy wouldn't be on his radar like mine.

It is, when I look at it objectively, now that I've stopped crying, MY fault. And that's the most irksome thing, I suppose. I just imagined that my boys would always have their teddies. I'm VERY sentimental!!!!!

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