to not consider a sleeping adult appropriate childcare for a 3 year old

(30 Posts)
happydutchmummy Sun 20-Oct-13 20:36:52

I am fuming with oh. Just want to get some opinions on whether I'm being a hormonal maniac or if my anger is justified....

I went to bed just over 2 hours ago, as I'm pregnant, exhausted and need sleep. Oh needed to run an errand, but I told him I physically couldn't stay awake to look after dd (she's 3). I assumed he'd reschedule and look after dd.

Dd woke me up as she was bored and `daddy has gone out`… so he left me in charge of our toddler, even though I was unaware he'd gone and I was pretty much comatose.

I've just called him on the phone and he thinks he's done nothing wrong, but I'm so so so bloody angry! Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable and that a sleeping adult does not have the ability to safely supervise an awake 3 year old.

CrapBag Mon 21-Oct-13 20:06:14

Wow YANBU.

I have a long term health condition and I am very very groggy when DH goes to work, but he always wakes me up, and whilst I am not fully awake, I have an ear out at all times until I do wake up enough. I have also dosed on the sofa whilst kids are watching a film, but the room is secure, can't get to anything dangerous and the slightest noise is enough to wake me up.

He is a massive twat and has such a nerve trying to turn it around.

I'd love to know what this important errand was, or why he couldn't take a 3 year old with him!

RevelsRoulette Mon 21-Oct-13 20:02:32

Why couldn't he just have taken her with him?
You aren't being unreasonable. You need to know if your child is in the house and you are the only adult there! He is probably refusing to see the problem because then he'd have to admit he was wrong.

HerrenaHarridan Mon 21-Oct-13 20:01:46

A situation almost identical to this was the final straw to my relationship with dds dad.

PumpkinsPieEyed Mon 21-Oct-13 19:52:30

Yadnbu, tell him he basically left his 3yr old dc unsupervised in the house.
You were sleeping and not in a position to supervise her, he should have woken you at least!

Any number of things could have happened to her.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sun 20-Oct-13 23:37:51

What a fucking cock. When DW had night shifts with DD the same age I took her with me if I needed to go out.
We both have jobs in which we can kill through fatigue.
The thing I find really twattish is the lie that he'd arranged it with you.

Doodledumdums Sun 20-Oct-13 23:29:28

YANBU- he should have taken her with him, or at the very least let you know he was going out.

Your daughter sounds so adorable though! What three year old brushes their teeth unprompted without a fight?! Please share your secrets?!

AveryJessup Sun 20-Oct-13 23:24:42

Why didn't he just take her out with him on his 'errand'? She is 3, not a tiny baby that's a lot of work to get out of the house.

It sounds to me like he didn't want to let you rest at all but just selfishly wanted to do whatever suited him, regardless of how you felt.

mrsjay Sun 20-Oct-13 22:17:31

sorry has your husband always been such a selfish arse what is he playing AT I would be having words with him why didnt he put her to bed

LEMisdisappointed Sun 20-Oct-13 22:06:30

where the fuck did he go? what a cunt

arethereanyleftatall Sun 20-Oct-13 22:04:46

Whilst I have fallen asleep/dozed on sofa numerous times when my 2 year old was playing peppa s in her bedroom, this is totally totally different and yanbu at all.
If you think you can, your body would have been in a much deeper sleep, and you wouldn't have had that automatic ear out for her.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Sun 20-Oct-13 21:58:00

Yanbu

It's not dozing on the couch ( which would still be questionable), it's fast asleep in bed!

Your dd is too cute though! I'm glad she was so good and stayed out of trouble and out of danger

hettienne Sun 20-Oct-13 21:21:37

If you sleep so deeply that you didn't notice her in bed beside you, there's no way you would wake if she got into trouble downstairs. Even worse that he knew you were so out of it.

pianodoodle Sun 20-Oct-13 21:17:03

That's crap YANBU.

DH took DD (2) to bed an hour ago but for some reason she's still up chattering. He has fallen asleep but she's still sitting on the bed beside him looking at a book (that she's put on his head smile)

If I needed to pop out now I would not just walk out the door without waking him up!

Nanny0gg Sun 20-Oct-13 21:16:46

Has he always been an idiot?

And was his errand really that important that he couldn't allow you to rest properly?

CoffeeTea103 Sun 20-Oct-13 21:16:23

Yanbu, very irresponsible of him. You have every right to be fuming!

happydutchmummy Sun 20-Oct-13 21:11:58

Hettienne - I was fast asleep, and didn't notice. He made no attempt to wake me and let me know he was off out.

runawaysimba Sun 20-Oct-13 21:11:47

YA absolutely NBU but your daughter sounds adorable. She has the run of the house, so watches telly and brushes her teeth! I like her style.

hettienne Sun 20-Oct-13 21:07:03

Surely if he put her in bed next to you, you would have noticed? Why couldn't he have woken you a bit to let you know?

happydutchmummy Sun 20-Oct-13 21:03:33

Thank you.

The main concern I have is the safety issue, as she had the run of the house and could have choked/run herself a bath/ somehow drunk bleach, etc and I wouldn't have known to listen out for her. She tells me that she watched some octonauts, then decided to brush her teeth and woke me up when she needed a wee.

He just got home and is completely unrepentant. He say that I knew he was planning on going out of the house and the acted like I was being ridiculous for saying he should have arranged childcare as he knew I was asleep. He claims he put her in bed next to me with the iPad and told her not to wake me. So that's okay then!

Fucking imbecile twat cunt.

hettienne Sun 20-Oct-13 20:50:25

I was ready to say YABU as I often "supervise" 3 year old DS while dozing on the sofa, but to just leave her alone without even letting you know! YANBU. I would be furious.

He's lucky she came to wake you up rather than getting into trouble.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 20-Oct-13 20:50:17

YANBU.
It isn't worse because you didn't know. What would it matter, you were asleep.
He is out of order, show him this thread if he doesn't believe you.
Anything could have happened, its not even like she was in bed asleep.
FFS this is bloody neglect, get him told. I am angry for you.

NotYoMomma Sun 20-Oct-13 20:50:10

what if she had something in her mouth and choked?!

Jesus I would be livid

coraltoes Sun 20-Oct-13 20:49:32

On my god, anything could have happened without you knowing! Your kid is far smarter than your idiot husband. What a douchebag

movingaway Sun 20-Oct-13 20:48:02

YANBU that's awful- why couldn't he just take her with him?!

clarinsgirl Sun 20-Oct-13 20:47:08

Shame your OH does not have the sense of your DD. YANBU.

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