to be fed up with my bum? (warning - medical heebie jeebies!!)

[prettybutclumpy]

I am ten days post-op following the insertion of a seton for an anal fistula. Therein lies my first problem - this is a truly disgusting condition, and not easy to talk about with anyone! I have a temporary elastic band running from a large open sore (site of previous abscess), crossing beside my ladybits, into my rectum and along a tunnel (fistula) into my colon and out through my rectum and tied in a knot - yeuch!!)

My surgeon made light of this procedure, and did not alert me to the problems which I've suffered. I can even now only sit on a dining/computer chair for about ten minutes at a time (standing as I type!), experience twinges of pain when I walk, and can hardly walk to the end of the road. I'm also really tired!

I was given a fit note from the hospital for two weeks, which I am really worried won't be enough.

My DH is being v supportive, and doing lots with the DCs and the house, so I know I'm lucky there, but I am just miserable with it...

The biggest thing I'm worried about is that this is only a precursor to more serious surgery in a few weeks' time, which potentially will ruin Christmas!

I know this won't kill me (my dear sis had cancer last year and I appreciate it is NOTHING like that) and won't hopefully go on for ever, but AIBU to have a wee moan to you all?

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

You poor poor love. Moan all you like. I had terrible post DC piles and that was bad enough. Hope you get some support/advice from MNetters who have experienced your condition.

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasExhausted]

Moan away it sounds like hell on earth. Really hope the surgery works for you. resolves to be braver about her own minor health ailments

[Rotterwallah]

You have my every sympathy, that sounds horrid. I had an open haemorroidectomy a couple of years ago. It wa truly truly awful. Bum pain coupled with the embarrassment makes for an awful time

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

Feel free to moan, that sounds horrible! And not something you probably want to go into details of to everyone in real life!

Glad your DH is being helpful though

If you're still feeling like this when your fit note expires then for gods sake go to your gp and get another one! Please don't go back to work feeling like crap :(

[FortyDoorsToNowhere]

Hospital fit notes are different from GP ones, if you need more time get another note from your GP.

Hope you recover soon

[HumphreyCobbler]

it sounds to me like you need better painkillers - ask your GP

[Voerendaal]

As hospital staff, We are only allowed to issue a hospital sick note for 2 weeks. Your GP will give you another one. I hope you start to feel better soon, sounds awful x

[DoJo]

Bum pain in the worst, and my only experience is of very minor ailments in that area, so I can only begin to imagine how you are feeling. I really hope that you are able to sit down soon (although an excuse to lie down is normally an unheard-of treat, I am making an exception in your case!) and just remember that even if Christmas is a little tricky after your next op, presumably you will be happier and more comfortable once you have recovered from it, and that will be a good belated Christmas gift for everyone. Best wishes and good luck.

[NeedlesCuties]

Have some and

I got an anal fissure after my 2nd DC. Had never even heard of one before it happened. Truly bloody and SORE!!!!!!! Really was shocked at how sore it was, and how yuck. Did I mention that it is sore?

OP, you're going through a horrible thing and you are 100% allowed and entitled to complain.

AIBU is known for being prone to arguments, but I can't see anyone who'd argue with you about an anal fissure.

YANBU, complain all you need to.

[Ruffcat]

Hey op I had a 3rd degree tear after my 2nd ds birth, and I can only begin to imagine what you are going through. Phone your gp and explain and hopefully they can give you a note that your dh can pick up rather than you leaving the house
are you on antibiotics? and pain killers,

[ChampagneTastes]

Oh you poor poor thing. You are completely entitled to moan (I have piles at the moment - a present from my darling son - so I have a little insight into your pain). Hope you get some better pain killers and start to feel better soon. xx

[Chottie]

It sounds just awful and really uncomfortable. Please don't go back to work before you are fully fit and ready.

[CrohnicallyLurking]

I have a lot of sympathy for you! I have Crohn's and so suffer with my bum a lot, it's horrible not being able to talk about it to anyone due to embarrassment. And of course because you're not talking about it everyone assumes you're OK.

I hope you're feeling better soon, but definitely go to your GP and get a new fit note and more painkillers.

Can I just ask, do you have Crohn's too, as that's the only time I've heard of people getting anal fistulas.

[Zingy123]

You poor thing you have my sympathy. I had an anal abcess once I was in excruciating pain for days as I was too frightened to go to the doctors. My husband got me a rubber ring and I found that helped as it eased the pressure when sitting. I have crohns. I ended up in hospital on IV antibiotics which worked thankfully as they were talking about surgery.

[AquaticNocturne]

More sympathy from another lady with Chron's here. I'll never take a healthy bum for granted again! Get well soon .

[Meglet]

My IBS means I'm prone to fissures. It's the most wretched pain I've known. So loads of sympathy from me.

[cardamomginger]

Fuck. That sounds ghastly. I'm so sorry. I've had major gynae surgery that has involved an extremely painful undercarriage, so I can sympathise. I remember how much it hurt to sit. BTW - 10 days post-op is nothing. Walking to the end of your (I hope very short) street is the max you should be aiming for. You should be resting as much as possible. Definitely get signed off for longer. Keep upp with your pain killers and make sure you don't get constipated.
Oh and YANBU. Obviously!

[holidaysarenice]

Would a rubber ring on a chair help and aim ur sorest bit in the circle?

Plus you can have a fit line extended easily.

[onlysettleforbutterflies]

You poor thing, I have had a similar op for fistula, spasms and piles, the pain pre and post op was horrendous, made 10 times worse because of the embarrassment factor. I have since had an emergency cesarean which was a walk in the park in comparison. Definitely go to your gp to extend your sicknote, you can't rush going back to work. My recovery after my 2nd op was much quicker tho, so try not to worry about Christmas just yet.

Btw after op number 2 I have since had no problems again, even during pregnancy.

Get well soon.

[appletarts]

WTF!!!!??? I'm even scared to read all those details. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and sod everyone else until you're better. Sounds traumatic!

[Thecurlywurlymum]

Moan away all you like. My dd was too embarrassed to say anything until the pain became too much. She ended up having an emergency op at 3 in the morning and staying in hospital for a week ( type 1 diabetes). She is 20 and didn't want mum to have a look. I have never seen anything as bad as that abscess. Took a very long time to heal as the wound was the size of an ice cream scoop. Hospital cleaned and packed it every day as she needed gas and air to cope. She's no wimp but god it was bad

Don't expect miracles too soon. The bum area seems to take ages to heal. I hope you feel better soon and take care xx

[Fakebook]

Oh my gosh. Yanbu. I think I had an anal fissure after dc2 and it lasted for months. Only now (just as dc3 is about to be born, haha!) do I feel properly healed in my bum but still suffer terrible piles.

Bum pain is the worse. I hope it gets better soon. Just keep thinking at the end of this, you'll be healed and better again.

[Delayingtactic]

Ooh that is sore. I'm sorry your surgeon didn't explain the after effects thoroughly. It is so sore. Where are you having the tightening done? How long do they think it will be there for? (You need a sick note for as long as that at least). Patients tell me they do lie down a lot on their side and most decide to work from home or not at all. I'd suggest taking regular pain relief - even if you feel the pain is ok, it is much easier to stop pain developing, than stop it once it has already started. Only thing is careful of constipation drugs and take something like senna and lactulose alongside it.

Fwiw, all doctors can write sick notes for as long as they like. Hospital doctors are not restricted to two weeks but for as long as they think you need to be off work (in the last week I've signed people off for two weeks, six weeks and a couple for three months). I personally would call up the consultants secretary and ask her to post you one.

[YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo]

YANBU! This kind of problem (anything bum/fanjo related) can make you feel as miserable, unsexy and embarrassed as hell, and it isn't like you can just moan to the milkman or the checkout cashier about it (well not unless you are alarmingly open - i did once get a perfect stranger tell me about their prolapse when i worked on a checkout at weekends during uni and it was pretty uncomfortable to say the least) -so if you need to moan about it here you just go ahead! you have my sympathy!