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AIBU?

The mystery of the kitchen full of poo.

39 replies

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 15:04

got up for work this morning to find the kitchen full of shite.

for some inexplicable reason there were 2 separate cat shites in the futility room.

why? why would 2 different cats suddenly feel the need to poo in there? why?

also even more inexplicable......

in the middle of the kitchen floor was an enormous dog turd.

definitely dog, not cat.

huge, so probably not SmallDog.

But BigDog was shut in his cage. with the door closed and locked from the outside.

how?

How could this happen?

anyway......

as I was on the way to work I'm afraid I woke up DH and left him to deal with it all.

OP posts:

Report

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 15:06

I don't know how any of the above was unreasonable. but it was.

also SmallDog was also in his cage so couldn't have been him either.

OP posts:

Justforlaughs · 20/10/2013 15:06

No comment, except to say that I had to read the OP after seeing the title and i love the ending!

Mumsyblouse · 20/10/2013 15:06

I want a futility room. It sound so useful. I want to sit in it when I feel things are futile (relatively often).

I don't know about the poos though!

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 15:08

i'm so it hurts

OP posts:

Topseyt · 20/10/2013 15:20

I have a futility room. Well, a futility house really, as it seems futile trying to keep on top of things with most of my family, two dogs and one cat messing it up again regularly.

AgentZigzag · 20/10/2013 15:23

at the room of futility

The poo and your MN name are a pretty potent combo.

Maybe one of the cats made a super feline effort to do a big one so the dogs would get the blame, only they weren't clever enough to reason that the dogs were shut away.

Good job really else they'd have taken over the world by now, if intention was enough we'd be under the shackle of our feline oppressors as we type.

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 15:23

How though?

Why??????

OP posts:

Pancakeflipper · 20/10/2013 15:24

They obviously had a wild party last night and then cats locked the dogs back up but didn't clean up.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 20/10/2013 15:26

Maybe one of you has been very very bad to your children and has been give THE GIGGLER TREATMENT

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 20/10/2013 15:26

given

AgentZigzag · 20/10/2013 15:31

Didn't clean up on purpose Pancake.

Pancakeflipper · 20/10/2013 15:56

Cats are rubbish with a mop and bucket.

marriedinwhiteisback · 20/10/2013 16:04

Well the cat poo is understandable. The cats pooed.

Are you sure the big dog couldn't get out. Is there a difference between big dog poo and little dog poo. Come to think of it when we had labradors as a child I don't remember the labrador poo being any bigger than the cat poo I now occasionally deal with in the litter tray.

I bet it was the cats.

3birthdaybunnies · 20/10/2013 16:12

Do you even have cats, how do you know it was 2 different ones? I have a futility house too so can sympathise.

AgentZigzag · 20/10/2013 16:13

No opposable thumbs see Pancake?

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 16:14

2 different sorts of cat poo. bastards. never pood before in the futility room. the bath, yes, but not the futility room.

the large dog poo was huge. about the size of the SmallDog.

The BigDog is also huge.

But both dogs were locked in their cages.

I am bemused.

OP posts:

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 16:16

so at some point BigDog got out of the cage. Crapped in the middle of the floor. Then went back into his cage and somebody/thing relocked the door.

so who? or what?

OP posts:

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 16:17

I think the cat poo is a red herring. maybe planted to stop me wondering about the cage/og/poo issue

OP posts:

OoozingCervix · 20/10/2013 16:17

I'm going to check the cat feet to see which one has evolved opposable thumbs.

OP posts:

marriedinwhiteisback · 20/10/2013 16:20

It all sounds a bit like the dark dark night when the big skeleton and the little skeleton and the dog skeleton went on a walk through the town and found the zoo with all sorts of other skeletons to me.

I think you're having a laugh OP - or someone's having a larf on you.

Pancakeflipper · 20/10/2013 16:21

Very good point AgentZigZag.

VivaLeThrustBadger · 20/10/2013 16:23

My dog can fling poo out his crate. However he normally mashes it up into small bits before starting a flinging session. I guess a complete poo wouldn't get out in one bit.

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fluffyraggies · 20/10/2013 16:26

Could an outside door or largish window have been left open OP? If the cats had poo'd in the room before another animal (badger/stray dog tec) had got into the house they may have poo'd there too out of territory marking?

fluffyraggies · 20/10/2013 16:26

Or the other way around - cats poo'd in response to stray/wild animal pooing in their futility room?

SeaSickSal · 20/10/2013 16:27

I would say at a guess some other creature has come through your cat flap. This has scared your cats so much they've shit themselves. Other creature also scared has shit itself, then run away.

I've actually had foxes and stoats come through mine.

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