to wonder if everyone elses children really did receive a perfect parents evening report (as posted on facebook)

(139 Posts)
grumpalumpgrumped Tue 15-Oct-13 21:58:47

Parents evening season and my news feed is full of 'well done little johnny a perfect parents evening'. AIBU to wonder if I'm the only one to get a good but not perfect report for my DS?

Feeling a bit fed up and dare I say it a little disappointed (DS report was not bad at all just honest and I can see what they were saying is about right)

Not sure why it bothers me, just trying to gauge if I'm a terrible mother!

Donkeyok Fri 18-Oct-13 06:24:07

grin give the baby gin! hahah

Trudyla Thu 17-Oct-13 19:37:52

Sorry, wrong thread. As you were!

Trudyla Thu 17-Oct-13 19:36:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrstigs Thu 17-Oct-13 19:32:00

I posted about ds's parents evening. He's had two really tough years in infant school, he really struggled socially although not academically. His behaviour was getting to the point where i was worried he'd disengage altogether. First term at the attached junior school and the teacher (who was well briefed before the start of term) was massively impressed. He is so far being fabulous and she said we should be proud of how hard he has tried to do his best. After two years of meetings with teachers that made me cry i was proud as hell and wanted to tell everyone! The people on my fb all know me and know how stressed I've been so it was natural to let them know that we've turned a corner. I do find some people take it too far though, and it seems to be the people where i know life aint as rosy as they make out. They put so much effort into maintaining this perfect virtual front it kind of makes me feel sad for them.

Arisbottle: I have plenty of compassion for their personal situations. I was just noting the pattern among my FB friends. That said, the fact is that the loud FB protestations do not help them because it irritates people (which makes them less sympathetic). And, as others have pointed out, people don't necessarily know there's a problem (and that you might need help) if you are intent on pretending everything is wonderful to the world.

The passive-aggressive paranoid ones are scary and weird though. I have sympathy for them because I suspect there are serious mental health issues. But I can't help them and I don't really want to voyeuristically watch the train wreck. So I hide them and suggest to my stepdad (to whom they are related) that they might need a bit more support.

CHJR Thu 17-Oct-13 18:14:15

As for FB, we have a firm rule against posting anything at all about our children now. The oldest is a teenager and he wants to be in control of his own public image and privacy. Quite right too.

CHJR Thu 17-Oct-13 18:10:24

It is very noticeable to me that the parents who boast the most are the ones who are insecure. Sometimes insecure about their children, but more often about themselves. Seriously, I'm not just spouting a cliche. Listen to them quietly and you'll notice... it's kind of sad.

Arisbottle Thu 17-Oct-13 18:03:18

In that case arbitrary why not have a little compassion and understanding as to why they may be posting that parents evening was great.

Tbh my children cover the whole academic and sporting spectrum from perfectly behaved genius to can't be bothered and average. If they do something great I shout it from the rooftops. I wish my parents had bigger me up a little more.

thebody Thu 17-Oct-13 17:45:58

exexpat grin

exexpat Thu 17-Oct-13 17:05:18

The only one of my DCs' sporting achievements I have ever posted on FB was when DS came joint last in the whole-school cross-country race. Quite an achievement, that.

Scatter: it isn't that it's friends succeeding. It's the fact that the only people who ever post this stuff on my FB feed are those whose children I know to be absolute horrors who are not doing really well. The ones who probably did get a 'perfect' report don't say anything. The main culprit is also the one that always posts about how wonderful her fiancé is etc. Their relationship is notoriously rocky!

Although it doesn't have me reaching for 'hide' as quickly as passive aggressive paranoia. You'd think the whole world was out to get some people.

thebody Thu 17-Oct-13 16:59:52

oh good grief I just lie. my kids are both intellectual and sporting genius of course!!' ha bloody ha.

face book is full of crap. if you don't 'big up' your own kids then who will.

just lie like the rest of the parents out there.

BruthasTortoise Thu 17-Oct-13 16:53:17

It does seem ok for some reason Clover, doesn't it? My kids are much more academic than sporty but I don't feel comfortable sharing their academics achievements incase I'm inadvertently making my friends feel bad. Don't feel the same about sports.

CloverkissSparklecheeks Thu 17-Oct-13 13:51:25

I do share sporting/other achievements on FB but for some reason that seems ok. Neither of them are exceptional at sport so it doesn't feel weird to do so and other people seem to react in a lovely way to it. I did once at the start of my DS1s schooling put something on FB which did not go down well - I was very naive!

Arisbottle Thu 17-Oct-13 13:25:58

I have no issue with my friends sharing that they are proud of their children , surely that is part of being a friend.

FWIW dd2 had a less than glowing parent's evening .

BruthasTortoise Thu 17-Oct-13 13:24:31

I don't post about my kids reports, good, bad or other smile. I'm wondering though if all those who don't post about their kids' academics do post about their other achievements i.e. sports day, extra curricular activities, etc?

scattercushion Thu 17-Oct-13 13:16:07

Gore Vidal spoke the truth: 'When a friend succeeds, something inside me dies' - he would've hated Facebook! grin

CloverkissSparklecheeks Thu 17-Oct-13 13:10:39

Proud parents are fine, I love to hear my friends DCs are doing well but its the lying about what they are achieving that is ridiulous.

In a different world I would be happy to share my DSs achievements as I am proud of him but if you genuinely have a 'bright' child it is considered boasting - it is however apparently ok to lie about your childs achievements grin

mumaa Thu 17-Oct-13 13:04:06

Its just online boasting, ignore it! Its like that advert with a 'real self' and a 'digital self' the digital self being far more interesting and amazing than your actual self... people like to create an image on these websites, most of the stuff on them is fluffed up or complete rubbish, ignore it

pinkballetflats Thu 17-Oct-13 12:55:39

It doesn't bother me: occasionally I'll roll my eyes a little but reality is merely perception (as some posts on this thread attest to) and if they're happy, good for them.

Hayleyh34 Thu 17-Oct-13 12:49:41

I'd never really bother to think of it as boasting, it's just proud parents.

Mind you I do disagree with those that have said it's always positive feedback. After 3 parents evenings with DD I can confirm that has not been the case with us grin

CloverkissSparklecheeks Thu 17-Oct-13 12:43:29

The latest thing has been people posting photos of those 'young writers anthology' certificates for talented writers - errrr - everyone who enters wins a place in the published book!!

frumpet Thu 17-Oct-13 12:39:43

Actually thats not totally fair , if a child has achieved something special for them, then i dont mind seeing that , but its the constant stream of utter rubbish that galls me

frumpet Thu 17-Oct-13 12:34:49

I detest 'proud mummy ' posts on facebook , boastful and boring and quite from the land of the seriously deluded . If my child does something spectacular i tend to tell THEM that i am proud of them , not a bunch of randoms on the internet smile

SirChenjin Thu 17-Oct-13 11:54:59

I had a friend once (notice past tense...) who was convinced her DD was gifted but the school just wouldn't recognise her talents and academic prowess. The school were perfectly capable of recognising prowess, and had moved a couple of the brighter kids into classes of older children for maths and literacy lessons. I put up with her moaning for so long and then had to tell (tactfully, natch!) her about those children - she was furious grin

Fortunately she moved her DD onto a private school not long after where she could shine wink grin

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