To be fucked off that parents not vaccinating their child is risking my childs life?

(348 Posts)
TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 20:51:04

I never judged them before. I never cared, if they chose not to vaccinate their child I always thought it was their choice and its not for me to have an opinion.
I never used to give it much more thought that that. I vaccinate mu children and what others do with theirs is none of my business.

Until I have a child who's immune system is often (but not always, steroid use) compramised. He is more likely to pick up bugs, and not deal with them very well.

He is also allergic to many things. I know tha egg allergy isnt usually an issue, but the MMR is cultivated on egg albumin. He is allergic to egg (anaphylactic) chicken meat, and feathers. The whole caboodle. Im pretty sure his tiny body wont like egg albumin either.

He's due to have this vaccine very very soon in hospital and Im absolutely shitting myself. Every time I remember it my stomach drops and my heart races.

Im genuinely thinking, what if he dies?

I cant get the vaccines done individually because the private clinics wont touch me with a barge pole.

I cant risk leaving it (Ive left it 18 months so far) because the area I live in has a very low MMR rate.

And that really, really angers me. Probably irrationally so.

I should be able to leave it. My son should be protected by societies use of the MMR.

Instead I either have to risk him getting an illness, or risk giving him this injection.

As if he hasnt been enough already.

I know IABU, but I just feel very resentful and angry towards those who choose not to vaccine right now.

More than prepared to be flamed for this.

Loosingthebigkickers Tue 15-Oct-13 20:53:15

I don't know where to start with this one.

this won't end well.

bigbuttons Tue 15-Oct-13 20:54:15

there are many children, like mine who are not vaccinated, not because I am selfish or can't be bothered but because I have very valid concerns based on the experiences of my first child post mmr.

This conversation has been done to death.

PrincessFlirtyPants Tue 15-Oct-13 20:54:26

Highly emotive subject, OP.

AIBU may not be the best place or this.

CoconutCake Tue 15-Oct-13 20:55:39

YANBU you should expect that society as a whole would be vaccinated to give your dc herd immunity.

I wish we were like america in some respects where dc cannot start school until vaccines have been done.

Would I feel the same way in your shoes - too right!
Do I feel that people should be forced into making a decision that they feel would be against the best interests of THEIR child for the sake of yours, not so sure.
I hope your DC is ok though flowers

ICameOnTheJitney Tue 15-Oct-13 20:59:27

As upsetting and worrying as this is, there is no "should" about it. Other people are free to vaccinate or not as they choose. Sorry you are so worried though.

Morgause Tue 15-Oct-13 21:00:16

I'm sure there would be a better uptake if separate vaccines were allowed. Our DSs had separate vaccines for measles. Both had mumps before they were due for the jabs and they are boys so don't need the rubella vaccine.

YANBU

PrimalLass Tue 15-Oct-13 21:00:34

Why won't the NHS do single vacs if the MMR contains something he is allergic to?

BTW, mine would be fully vac'd with singles if bastarding Merck hadn't stopped producing Mumpsvax.

ICameOnTheJitney Tue 15-Oct-13 21:01:05

Coconut being forced to give drugs to your child by the State would be a terrible thing. No argument could possibly make that any different....only China and similar countries would do such a thing. And in my opinion the USA and for that matter Australia are far too heavy handed about it.

neontetra Tue 15-Oct-13 21:01:21

YANBU, op, to be worried and scared for your child in this situation. Whatever the rights and wrongs of others choices, I do hope you and your boy are ok. X

Sirzy Tue 15-Oct-13 21:02:09

I can understand your frustrations on the matter.

PrimalLass Tue 15-Oct-13 21:03:13

I wish we were like america in some respects where dc cannot start school until vaccines have been done.

The same America where children get gunned down in schools that now have to have security guards. A country that thinks its citizens should have personal freedom to bear arms but not to opt out of vaccinations.

Mumsyblouse Tue 15-Oct-13 21:04:15

To be honest, if he's risking anaphalaxis for the MMR, I wouldn't have it and I am very pro-MMR for those who have no issues. He may travel when older into non-herd immunity countries and you can't expect the whole world to have herd immunity for this.

I wouldn't risk it for polio or some of the other diseases, I know people will come on saying that mumps, measles can be very serious etc, but I would consider it an acceptable risk to have the MMR diseases. I prefer not to, and have vaccinated my own children, but I also understand those who choose not to and I don't blame them for this lack of herd immunity, which as I say, is not limited to the UK anyway.

2tiredtocare Tue 15-Oct-13 21:04:38

It may have been done to death bigbuttons but it's personal to this OP why should she not be allowed to vent because people have asked the question before.

grobagsforever Tue 15-Oct-13 21:04:58

YANBU

slightlysoupstained Tue 15-Oct-13 21:05:48

YANBU OP but like others I don't expect it to take long for this one to go wrong, given that even with worried parents begging people not to hijack an informational thread (letting people know where to get jabs during last year's measles outbreak) it still filled up with...stuff I can only describe as deeply unhelpful (without getting ranty, I found the posts deeply manipulative and unpleasant).

cantsleep Tue 15-Oct-13 21:05:57

Just to reassure you my ds1 who is severely allergic to egg (carries epi pens) had the mmr and was fine. We had it done at the hospital just in case but he had no problems.

2tiredtocare Tue 15-Oct-13 21:06:41

My brother nearly died of measles and was comatose for weeks, my husband had his MMR in hospital due to egg allergy

YoureBeingADick Tue 15-Oct-13 21:06:50

Op how do you know the other people dont have reasons that are just as valid as yours?

misdee Tue 15-Oct-13 21:07:16

I have an egg allergic child (anaphylactic) she wont have the mmr jab.

my youngest children wont have the nasal flu jab as dh is immune suppressed due to transplant, and its been advised that no-one in the home has the live vaccine.

my eldest 3 are fully vaccinated. (youngest 3 in various stages of jabs programme and which can be done). my 3rd vaccinated child went down with mumps last year.

silverten Tue 15-Oct-13 21:07:42

I don't think you're being wholly unreasonable to be upset about it. But life isn't fair, is it? And we fortunately live in a country where we have a choice about these things.

But I'd be more cross at the dodgy researchers who took liberties with the scientific principle, and the sloppy journalists who reported things badly, wrongly and sensationally and whipped the issue up into a storm just to flog a few more papers. They are more to blame for parents making the decision not to vaccinate, IMO.

TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 21:08:16

To totally contradict myself, Id hate it if we had to vaccinate before school.

Making a parent vaccinate goes against every fibre of my body. Possibly because I SO dont want to vaccinate?

What I want is everyone else to make the best decision for my son. Which is of course utterly ridiculous. I know this.

Im just really, really fucking scared.

The first time he went into anaphylactic shock, it wasnt a case of anaphylaxis-ambulance-adrenalin-recovery. The aftermath was absolutely horrendous, it took his body 3 months to get over it, I cant explain how bad it was. It was more frightening, painful and awful that the anaphylaxis itself.
This worries me grately.

ReallyTired Tue 15-Oct-13 21:09:18

I am sorry that you are having to go through so much worry with your son. I think you have every right to be angry with people who don't vacinate.

I wish that child benefit was linked to being up to date with vacinations for chidlren WITHOUT medical problems. This stop short of complusory vacination, but many parents who haven't vacinated their children have not done so because of laziness rather than a deliberate decision.

The herd immunity would then protect children who cannot have the jab or those for whom the jab fails to give protection. (Ie. MMR is 90% effective and 99% effective after two doses)

Driz Tue 15-Oct-13 21:10:00

Children don't need to be vaccinated before they start school in the US, you just need to sign a form stating you have chosen not to vaccinate.

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