To not want my bridesmaid to get a cut & colour 2 1/2 hours before my wedding?

(142 Posts)
Famzilla Mon 14-Oct-13 19:33:58

Getting married on Friday, low key registry office do with lunch & a boozy evening afterwards. Only 5 people attending the ceremony including DP and I.

My bridesmaid is my dear best friend, (let's call her Kerry) she is the kindest person you could ever wish to meet. She has done so much for me and I love her. However, she's a bit of an airhead bless her.

She was supposed to get a cut & colour on Saturday but our other friend the hairdresser cancelled. Our friend the hairdresser (let's call her Ann) said don't worry, I'll do it when I come round to do Famzillas hair on Friday morning. Kerry says that's fine.

I have a 6mo Velcro baby, who Kerry obviously knows and knows how un-putdownable she is. I was relying on Kerry to give me a hand with DD whilst I did my own make up and Ann put my hair up. But obviously now Kerry needs Ann to give her a cut & colour when she comes at 9.

She has it all planned out in her head and it sounds doable if DD didn't exist. But she does so I feel like I will be literally holding the baby for the entire morning desperately waiting for her to hurry up. We have to leave at 11.20 and as well as doing my own make up, getting my hair done and getting into dress etc.. DD will need her breakfast, a BF, a bath and then getting into her own outfit.

I would never let DD CIO. I am so stressed, this was supposed to be low key and easy but now I feel like a massive bridezilla. I keep saying I don't think it's gonna work and she keeps reassuring me that it'll be fine.

Am I being a bridezilla?

WineIsMyMainVice Fri 18-Oct-13 17:32:09

Yanbu.
You should talk to them both again and explain you want it to be as stress free as possible. It's your day and they should respect that.
Anyway when you've had a colour it looks far better when you've washed it once!
Have an amazing day and enjoy it!

TheGhostofAmandaClarke Fri 18-Oct-13 13:13:31

Oh Happy Wedding day Famzilla

noddingoff Fri 18-Oct-13 12:01:48

Hi Famzilla have just seen this thread and no doubt you will be walking into the registry office about now. I hope you and your imminent-DH are having a great day. I think it a bit odd that on the actual morning of your actual wedding, somebody is still accusing you of whinging and lecturing you about what you should have done about organising childcare. Ah well hopefully you were enjoying a nice glass of breakfast Bucks Fizz and chatting with your dearest friend- hair already sensibly cut n coloured at a sensible time like the day before- not looking at MN this morning.
Really hope that you didn't try doing your wedding makeup with the baby in a forward facing sling, expecting her to be "fascinated by the mirror" for three quarters of an hour, instead of doing what any normal baby would do (grab your mascara wand and start poking it in your eye).
Anyway congratulations on your wedding.

Hope it's a lovely day OP!

VomitingVeronica Fri 18-Oct-13 11:52:12

Oh pants.

Mumsnet term = mumsnetter
Boxier = boxset

VomitingVeronica Fri 18-Oct-13 11:50:11

Good lord there are some grumpy mumsnet terms out there! Honestly op, yanbu at all. Cut and colour else where and not when you need your bridesmaid to help you.

I have had a couple of gerdlings / needy babies, and you haven't made any mistakes in your parenting, you have done bloody well to make it so your lo is happy in the sling, it's better than screaming all the time regardless (though I'm sure you have has that too). Mine have both had long pleased when nothing makes then happy, it's hell, but it does get so much better when they want to crawl and explore. Reflux is horrendous, especially when you see all your mum friends feeding their happy little perfect latching babies while managing to have a conversation and cup of tea then tell you about what boxier they are watching while bfing, as if it is quiet enough to watch tv while feeding a refluxer! I'm so glad that there are so many perfect mothers our there though, please enjoy your easy babies and hope you never have to go through reflux and everything it comes with.

One other thing, if posters are going to go on about how nasty an op is for posting on aibu about their friend, how they are so mean putting it all on a public forum and how much they hate it and would never want a friend who would do that, well, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T READ AIBU!! It's what the whole area is about! Honestly!

Ahhh that felt good!

Have a great day op.

SnakeyMcBadass Fri 18-Oct-13 11:25:02

Have a lovely day OP thanks

BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor Fri 18-Oct-13 11:02:13

Oops, meant to add...

Have a lovely day thanks

BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor Fri 18-Oct-13 11:01:30

It's not just about the bm having her hair done on the day. It's about her having it cut and coloured, which will take time, when they have to leave the house at 11.20am, when the OP needs her help and support on the day.

Pogosticks Fri 18-Oct-13 10:57:58

wine Happy Wedding Day Famzilla! wine

JerseySpud Fri 18-Oct-13 09:17:26

Oh and have a wonderful wedding day x

Suddengeekgirl Fri 18-Oct-13 09:10:11

Have a wonderful day! grin thanks wine

JerseySpud Fri 18-Oct-13 09:04:09

Whatever happened with your DM and the wedding in the end OP?

pixiepotter Fri 18-Oct-13 08:49:15

A bridesmaid is an honorary title, it doesn't mean she is your actual maid!!

Strumpetron Fri 18-Oct-13 08:31:10

Thank Christ I know my friend isn't going to treat me like a skivvy and whinge about me for having my hair done on her wedding day!

YABU. Yes a bridesmaid is there to support but she isn't a child minder and she has to get ready too. I think it's a bit hmm the way you've spoken about her on here. Surely you should have arranged child care so you and your bridesmaid could have enjoyed the day together?

Morning Famzilla! Hope you have had a good rest. Have a super day wine thanks

TheGhostofAmandaClarke Fri 18-Oct-13 06:08:30

Oh, and put that fag down.
You deserve not to have one.

TheGhostofAmandaClarke Fri 18-Oct-13 06:07:21

thanks
Have a great day Famzilla

Famzilla Thu 17-Oct-13 13:20:19

Sure you do wink

Thanks for all the good luck messages! Have spent the morning blitzing the house, pretending it's because I don't want BM thinking I'm a slattern (we lived together, she knows I'm a filthy caah). Really if I sit down I think I will explode in a ball of nervous energy. If Sussex gets blown of the map tonight, you'll know why.

Hope DD settles nice and early so I can have a bottle glass of wine and a stealthy fag bar of chocolate.

(Disclaimer: I haven't smoked in years, but I think I deserve one)

Mojavewonderer Thu 17-Oct-13 10:10:49

Should have eloped! Would have saved all this hassle.
Hope your wedding turns out ok and you have a fan day.

Callaird Thu 17-Oct-13 09:28:20

This is the OP's wedding day, it's supposed to be a fun morning getting ready with her bridesmaid, laughing, chatting and a glass of bubbly.

Would you really want your 6 month old sat in a room where a hair dresser is using peroxide or some nasty smelling hair dye?! Or should the bride be in a different room with her daughter? The BM might as well get ready elsewhere if that was the case, it would save OP the mess of dye and hair in her house!

Lot's of babies are high needs, I'm a nanny and have looked after 23 children, they are not always laid back easy babies. It's no-ones fault, it is just the temperament of each individual child! Who wants their child to be the same as everyone else's?

I'm glad it's sorted OP and I hope you have a wonderful stress free day tomorrow.

Good luck and congratulations.

Davsmum Thu 17-Oct-13 08:41:36

Go and hang out with a paediatrician for the day, get them to show you a baby with reflux.
-------------------------------------------------------

I don't have to - I had a baby with reflux. I also have a niece with reflux.

randomAXEofkindness Thu 17-Oct-13 07:54:44

Giles & davsmum - My immediate thoughts are that you're talking so much shite that it must be a wind up. But I can't be bothered to look at your history so I'll just hope you're trolls and not regulars.

You were not being unreasonable OP.

First of all, you sound like a thoroughly decent mum, and if Gina Ford up there agreed with you, you'd be in BIG trouble! So don't sweat it.

I do wedding hair sometimes. On the last job I did, the bride had her 5 month old with her while she was getting ready. Her mum, a bridesmaid, and a couple of other relatives were in the suite for a good portion of the time. They talked to the baby now and again (he was remarkably relaxed in the floor anyway) but when he did start to fuss and needed a nap - just as the bride was going to start her makeup - everybody just looked the other way. I was doing somebody else's hair at the time so I called out "It would probably be a good idea if somebody took him for a little walk in his pram to send him off wouldn't it?" then glared a bit at each one of them in turn wink. When DH asked me how it went afterwards, my response was "Her hair was ace, her mates were rubbish". I'm always amazed at how obviously passive aggressive people are to the people they are supposed to care about. I see it all the time - I can't believe the stuff some people come out with sometimes, I wouldn't treat someone I hated half as badly as some best friends and mothers treat their 'loved-ones' on special occasions. I'm not saying your friend was being pa though - she does just sound a bit clueless. YOUR wedding day is YOUR special day, not your bm's. I wouldn't even need to know you, if I was just present on your wedding day I would hold your baby for you - it isn't a difficult concept, it's called 'not being a shit-head'! grin

Have a lovely wedding day OP!

Thisghosttrainisreversing Thu 17-Oct-13 00:10:37

I was stressed out on the morning of my wedding.

I was doing my own make-up so after going to the hairdressers I had to rush home get myself and my 14month old ready while my mum, bridesmaid and bridesmaid's mum stood around chatting. When I tried to do my make-up in my only big mirror my bridesmaid kept hogging it to do hers!

I was really pissed off that my bridesmaid didn't help me enjoy my day so I totally get your annoyance op.

Chandra Thu 17-Oct-13 00:08:09

Oops ctossposted

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