My mother has four children, and 9 grandchildren. (Parents are separated, my father does his own thing).
Through her own choice she never babysits and sees us all about once every other month when we go and visit her. She speaks to us most days on the phone and is happy that is the extent that she is involved in our lives.
For christmas mum gives each family £100 cash to be used during the year taking the family on a day out, she then also says to buy a token gift for the kids to open and to say it's from her (we each see her for about 15 minutes max over the Christmas period, some years my siblings won't get to see her at all, but I make sure every year that at some point we call in) and she always says she'll give us the cash for this (she never has yet).
Then throughout the year every time we go out as a family she bangs on about this being because she gave us the money at Christmas.
This £400 total is her total Christmas spend this equates to 0.16% of her annual income so it's not that she's hard up.
Would I be unreasonable this year to say that I'm using the £100 to pay for the "token" gifts and get us all something for £25 each rather than be out of pocket for the token gifts?
And if she insists that the £100 is a day out not to buy token gifts and insist she has to purchase those herself?
And this one I may be unreasonable on, explain that £100 doesn't cover the majority of days out anymore - i.e. in her mind it pays for theme parks and food and fuel - it realistically pays for the fuel to get there or the park tickets but not the whole thing?
Or should I carry on doing what I do every year - smile and say thank you for the £100, and purchase the token gift deducting it from Santa's budget?
(Sorry for such a long post)
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AIBU?
to say something to my mother this year or smile and silently seethe like all previous years.
90 replies
LookJohnLookJanetLook · 13/10/2013 11:28
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