to hate these threads?

(37 Posts)

The ones about how many presents you're getting your children for Christmas, or how much you spend on each child.

I don't understand why you'd care what other people do or spend, or even find it interesting. And from a personal (possibly oversensitive) perspective, these threads make me feel like shit because we're the proverbial church mice and I feel like I'm depriving my children. And yes, I do hide these threads now but just seeing the titles makes me feel sad.

Having just read this back I think I probably am BU, but I can't be the only one who feels like this.

Threalamandaclarke Sun 13-Oct-13 10:42:51

Yanbu
Yesterday I bought my DS a little plastic boat for the bath. It was a couple of quid.
He was over the moon. Has requested several baths ths morning grin He truly woudn't have been any more entranced by a bicycle. It certainly made me think that it really, really is not necessary to spend much on gifts. I think a lot of it (ESP when they're small) is for he grown ups (self included blush

MisguidedAngel Sun 13-Oct-13 10:45:54

Well, I think you are being a tiny bit UR, simply because you say you can't understand why you'd care what other people do or spend - and yet you let it upset you.

You're not depriving your children by not buying lots of stuff for them. I don't know how old they are, but little ones don't care and older ones are old enough for you to explain that you haven't got a lot of money. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's a good life lesson for them to learn that income is unequally distributed, people make different choices on what to spend their money on, and getting into debt is not a good idea.

I hope you get enough support on here to stop you feeling sad.

Wallison Sun 13-Oct-13 10:46:09

I tend to look at those threads in the same way as I look at other people's nice big houses (while I am cycling past them on the way to work in the rain) ie with a kind of anthropological fascination but they are so far removed from my life that it doesn't really touch me, iyswim. I sometimes think it would be nice to live like that but, well, I don't so that's how it is.

That's a good point Angel blush

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 13-Oct-13 10:51:11

Well I care... because I look at the people spending £100s and think: Heh. Suckerrrrs. grin DS's favourite toys at the moment are his little dinosaurs from Poundland - best buy yet in terms of lasting entertainment value.

Buglugs Sun 13-Oct-13 10:51:34

Yanbu, but I don't look at those threads anyway because I'm not interested.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 13-Oct-13 10:54:11

Oh, and hardly any of the childhood memories I have of Christmas involve presents. I remember Christmas dinner, GIVING presents to my family and their reactions, the one time it snowed, stuff like that. Oh, and the time my dad got hammered and kicked the oven door glass in before dinner was cooked. So don't do that, and you'll be fine grin

meditrina Sun 13-Oct-13 10:56:32

Oh, FFS, another Christmas thread prematurely in the main boards.

There's a separate topic for all that.

Which can be hidden (all the time, or until the start of Advent). Then you don't have to see those threads.

KirjavaTheCorpse Sun 13-Oct-13 10:57:49

All I think when reading them is that I hope they have big houses to go with the massive piles of stuff they buy their children (I'm talking about those who spend thousands!), or they're going to get to January and think 'shit, where are we actually going to put all this stuff?' - I definitely don't envy that scenario.

I don't feel bad, even though DS does not get a lot at Christmas. In fact he doesn't own a lot of toys at all. He has a big storage chest of toys that gets routinely combed through and ridded of stuff that he no longer plays with, gets given away or stored in the loft.

I'll admit I do have to stop myself thinking that I might be doing him a disservice when we visit other houses and they have whole rooms devoted to toys blush. You just have to accept and become comfortable with the fact that people live their lives and spend their money differently.

FTRscreamingInTerror Sun 13-Oct-13 10:58:50

Don't worry too much about what you are buying puddle and certainly don't beat yourself up about what others are buying
When I was a kid Christmas was massive in our house, presents all over the sofa, full Christmas stocking the lot, however it was only when I became an adult I found out that actually we didn't have a lot of money during my childhood, my DM and DGM were just very good at the illusion of it all.
Packs of knickers opened and wrapped individually, ditto socks. Books ordered over the year from book clubs, packs of multi buy sweets wrapped separately.
Always every year a new toothbrush and some toothpaste in the stocking.
You don't say how old your DC are but honestly when they're little, before they fully understand the concept of money, it's about the 'stuff'
Sit down and have a brew and try not to stress about it

FTRscreamingInTerror Sun 13-Oct-13 11:00:26

Also balls to presents Christmas is about the food!!

meditrina I do apologise for having offended your delicate sensibilities. grin I wanted to know whether my feelings were unreasonable so I posted in AIBU. As for hiding the Christmas topic I think that would be an overreaction, as there are threads in there that are very useful.

FTR that's a great way of doing it, I'll try that! Your mum and grandma sound awesome.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 13-Oct-13 11:05:18

My DC will not have a lot this christmas, but my DC gets gift though out the year. I love treating them to new toys ( not alway brand new but charity shops/boot sales)

I know some children only get gifts on birthdays and christmas so the parents gets loads.

tiggerpigger Sun 13-Oct-13 11:08:25

My daughter will be just over 2 months old this xmas. Im getting her a ps4. She can't wait!

MrsDavidBowie Sun 13-Oct-13 11:09:07

They'll all be moaning in January about all the toys and tat, and how do they declutter grin

BrokenSunglasses Sun 13-Oct-13 11:09:49

I don't mind those threads, they make me realise that I don't need to panic quite so much because not everyone spends hundreds on their children and we're pretty average with what we can afford to spend.

YouTheCat Sun 13-Oct-13 11:13:47

I used to do that, FTR, when mine were small. Bulging Christmas stocking but pretty much full of poundshop bargains and cheap books I'd been amassing over the year.

coldwinter Sun 13-Oct-13 11:18:10

I read an article somewhere about how kids get overwhelmed with too many toys, and so only play with a fraction of them. And especially when they are small, 1 or 2 toys from poundland can make them so happy.

confusedwwyd Sun 13-Oct-13 11:18:27

i agree op. i saw a thread the other day, didnt ask any questions or invite discussion - just had a huge huge list of all sorts of stuff for one child. it seemed very boastful to me and i cant help but think that these people have completely fallen for the commercial, shit side of christmas. there is just no need to spoil kids and i wouldnt even if i was rolling in it.

ProtectiveMother Sun 13-Oct-13 11:29:35

This thread is very interesting and I'm almost in tears thinking of the toothbrush and toothpaste. There's something very sweet about that I think. I certainly got socks in my stocking when a child as well as the oranges at the bottom! I only buy presents for my kids at Christmas so I do spend quite a lot on them (about £100 or £150 for each) but this includes non-toy items as well... They already have way too many toys and I am already regretting spending the amount I already have as I think it would have been better spent on Panto tickets and other more memorable things (and those don't clutter the house!)

MrsDavidBowie Sun 13-Oct-13 11:31:23

My dcs (they are teenagers now) love the homemade crackers I do which we pull in the afternoon...I really work hard to find something appropriate and personal which will fit in a cracker....or I put in a clue for a present which is too big for their cracker.

I have a corker for ds 14 this year. Can't wait ...it will be his best thing ever.

Viviennemary Sun 13-Oct-13 11:38:40

YANBU. It is cringeworthy reading about people casually saying oh well £800-£900 on the three month old. Oh yuk.

AndHarry Sun 13-Oct-13 11:42:43

I think YAB a bit U because those threads go the same way every year: MEGALIST of the contents of an entire toy shop x about 30 posts, then the competition to see whose children are being bought the least, the cheapest etc. until the child of the last poster is getting recycled coal dust in a sock found on the pavement by the poster's dog.

Start at post 30 and you'll be fine.

AndHarry Sun 13-Oct-13 11:43:12

grin tiggerpigger

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