To have said this?

(13 Posts)
Faith48 Sun 13-Oct-13 05:05:39

At the birth of my baby a few weeks ago my EX's Mum turned up at the hospital (He left me at 5 weeks pregnant but asked to be there, knowing I would say yes as I am still in love with him).

I was day 4 into my induction, had been on my own all night and all morning, I had been examined 3 times that morning, was a fingertip dilated and exhausted.

The doctors were 4 hours late coming round to see me to let me know if they were going to attempt to break my water in labour ward or take me down for a c-section (I was 16 days overdue!).

I have no idea why his Mum turned up at the hospital but she said that she wanted to see my EX (he lives with her so she sees him everyday and he went home every night). I told him that if he is going to go and see her I want to ring my DM to come and sit with me (10 minute drive) as the doctors were due to come and see me any minute and I didn't want to be alone.

He told me to ring him and he would come if anything changes but it is a 10 minute walk from where he was meeting her to where I was so I wanted my Mum there in case he didn't make it as they were going to take me down to labour ward straight away to break my water if it was possible.

He rang her and told her that he couldn't leave.

He said that I WBVU and will not let it go even now he keeps reminding me of how unreasonable I was, So I wanted to ask WABU?

DropYourSword Sun 13-Oct-13 05:10:39

He's being ridiculous. You didn't tell him not to go. You just wanted someone to be with you. The only thing you could have done differently in retrospect was to just call your mum and have her there with your so he couldn't argue that you were trapping him there. Bloody ridiculous you have to deal with this crap when you're trying to have your baby! Very best of luck to you, hope it all goes well x x

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Sun 13-Oct-13 05:26:44

Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

You were not BU. This just show another reason you're better off without him.

froken Sun 13-Oct-13 07:15:38

Definitely not unreasonable!

Congratulations on the birth of your baby smile

froken Sun 13-Oct-13 07:19:12

Oh and just to add, if he brings it up again you could say something along the lines of "you have already told me you think I was unreasonable. I disagree but we don't need to discuss it anymore we just need to concentrate on co-parenting our new baby. I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring it up again"

rainbow26 Sun 13-Oct-13 07:38:25

You are def not BU,as if you didn't have enough to deal with while in labour,it sounds to me as if you dealt with him extremely calmly in the circumstances,because I think I would have taken the assholes head off grin. He sounds like a selfish drama queen who you are much better off without.I agree with froken too,take the moral high ground and tell him that it is done with now and would appreciate it if you could be adults about it and concentrate on your beautiful baby. smile.

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 13-Oct-13 07:50:03

So you wanted him to hang on for 10- 20 mins until your Mum got to you? Not unreasonable but TBH, I would have let him get on with it as he sounds like a PITA. Why would you want him there at all? I think I'd rather be alone than with him if I were you.

Faith48 Sun 13-Oct-13 09:40:40

I had a very high risk pregnancy so I was petrified about labour and I didn't want to be alone, My DM was at work as they wouldn't let her have it off but she would have left anyway if I had rung her and let her know my situation.

I still love him, I'm trying to lose my feelings but it is difficult.

He had convinced me that I maybe was being unreasonable so I wanted to get an outside opinion so thank you for them.

Dawndonnaagain Sun 13-Oct-13 09:55:27

I find it worrying that you love somebody so manipulative that they cannot see that acquiesing to somebodys wishes whilst in Labour is not only fair, but reasonable and kind.

Mummyoftheyear Sun 13-Oct-13 10:21:14

Stuff him.
You are blummin entitled to be unreasonable when in labour.
But no, you weren't BU, anyway!

YouTheCat Sun 13-Oct-13 10:25:57

You were in labour ffs! If you can't be demanding then, that is just madness.

OP don't engage with this man, or his mother. He can get access through court and make sure you get money through CSA.

BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor Sun 13-Oct-13 11:19:19

YANBU He's a selfish fuckwit.

quoteunquote Sun 13-Oct-13 12:01:51

I hope you find a way not to be in love with such an underserving twonk.

congratulations by the way.

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