To think I wasn't rude?

(138 Posts)
Sister77 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:04:58

I was out with some friends last night and the air con was in full blast, I was freezing so I put my jacket on. 2 of my friends who were a bit tipsy started laughing and said yeah we were wondering when you'd complain of cold (hadn't said anything just put my cost on). 1 said its cus you're a skinny Beatch. So I replied in the same "laughing" manner that neither of you will ever have that problem (and may have uttered fat cows).
Well it all went very quiet and one said well that was really rude! So I said why is it ok for you to comment on my weight but not the other way round?
I have health problems which mean I find it difficult to put weight on these people don't know that and to be honest they've got gorgeous figures and are pretty with the best skin ever to boot.
It's just I'm sick of people taking the piss. I may be thin but sometimes I look gaunt and ugly (actually I usually look like this).
It was then sort of swept over and they seemed ok when we left but wibu to be so rude?
They've all been told how I hate being so thin but they still carry on!

hiddenhome Fri 11-Oct-13 17:10:26

I don't think being thin is really taken seriously because we're all subjected to constant media messages that it's the desirable state. People who aren't thin simply can't comprehend why a thin person would ever complain about their weight because, to the fatter person, the thin person has everything going for them.

They were a bit rude and so were you, but you're both looking at the situation from very different angles and neither really understands how the other feels.

Just forget about it and move on, your friendship is more important.

MsWilliamTheBloody Fri 11-Oct-13 17:11:14

You need new friends. These people are cunts.

And the 'thin' comments are likely to be fuelled entirely by jealousy.

FunkyBoldRibena Fri 11-Oct-13 17:18:44

If this happens again, perhaps say 'don't dish it if you can't take it'.

zatyaballerina Fri 11-Oct-13 17:19:14

Your response was justified, they were extremely rude (particularly as you have health issues), you responded with a taste of their own medicine.

Don't tell people how much you hate being thin, that's just putting yourself down and when you do that you show bullies your weakness and make yourself a target. Be proud of yourself and respect yourself as you would a favourite sister or best friend, that means no more horrible comments from yourself and you don't need to tolerate them from other people either.

ConsideringTheFuture Fri 11-Oct-13 17:25:29

'Skinny beatch' is the type of joky comment I would get from my friends (who are both a deal larger than me). Gentle japes about slim people feeling the cold are fairly common. Often borne from good-humoured jealousy.

'Fat cows' is NOT along the same lines. They were a little rude. You were a LOT rude. Incredibly so.

Apologise and hope they'll speak to you again.

Lj8893 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:31:49

I think they were rude and you were rude. But I would have said similar in your situation.

I have a very large chest and people feel the need to comment on it all the time. So why shouldn't I comment on their big bum or big nose?!

DoctorRobert Fri 11-Oct-13 17:34:45

you were rude. if your friends knew about your health issues then I doubt they would joke about you being thin - why don't you tell them?

Sister77 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:38:49

To be fair I feel awful, I don't normally say anything back but I think I looked particularly awful yesterday and they hit a raw spot. I would love to be size 12 with boobs n bum instead of a size 8 skinny scarecrow!

KirstyJC Fri 11-Oct-13 17:39:11

I think calling someone a skinny bitch is just as bad as calling someone a fat cow actually, and they started it so tough. If they don't like rude personal comments about their size, they shouldn't go giving them out to others. And they don't need to know about your health problems if ybou don't want them to, they shouldn't have been rude.

YANBU and hopefully they won't do that again.

ConsideringTheFuture Fri 11-Oct-13 17:42:51

Stop the pity party.

You were rude. There is no excuse for replying the way you did.

Sister77 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:43:24

DoctorRobert they're part of an extended friendship group we meet up quite often. My closest friends know but I don't like the world and his wife knowing my business so don't really feel the need to share info re my health. Ah well il suck it up and hope we're still friends when next we meet. It's said all the time at work too though, bullied through school and all that crap....wouldn't care I probably ate more than all these people put together!!!

jacks365 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:44:05

I want to know why skinny bitch isn't as bad as fat cow. I have a dd who struggles to put weight and 'jokes' about how skinny she is upsets her.

Sister77 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:45:11

Considering the future your right I do enjoy a good pity party! Gets my self righteous blood going!

Whereisegg Fri 11-Oct-13 17:48:16

I'm a size 8.
I don't look like a scarecrow hmm

Look, they said something they clearly thought was funny, it wasn't.
You said something along the same lines back and they got arsey.

If they are aware of your health issues and how you dislike your appearance because of it, then yanbu.

If they aren't, then just explain.

ConsideringTheFuture Fri 11-Oct-13 17:49:18

Jacks - for me (and assumingly the op seeing as she used it) 'beatch' has a very different meaning and is used in a different context to 'bitch'

The difference in how I've heared it used (and used it) being comparible to calling someone a 'silly billy' or a 'stupid cunt'.

ThisIs Fri 11-Oct-13 17:50:18

You were rude but it was justified as they were just as rude first.

I too am very thin (naturally rather than because of health issues) and suffered horrendous bullying when I was younger.

But as this thread shows, people clearly think it is OK to be horrible to people if they are thin whereas it is practically a crime to be rude to someone who is fat.

Whereisegg Fri 11-Oct-13 17:50:20

Xpost op.

As you don't want to explain your health issues then say you were making the point that appearance based 'jokes' are hurtful from both sides maybe.

nicename Fri 11-Oct-13 17:51:45

They started it!

I used to be a wee slip of a girl (pre kids) and people seemed to think that it was perfectly fine to comment (rudely) on my size, ask if I was anorexic or bulimic... I ate like a horse and stayed the same weight until my early 40s (my dad was tall and slim too). Yet somehow you cant turn the tables on them?

I probably wouldn't have called them fat but as someone else said, if they can't take it they shouldn't dish it out.

Etainagain Fri 11-Oct-13 17:53:08

You weren't rude but all. Why do people always think it's okay to make jokes about people being skinny but can't take any comments themselves. I too am skinny and gaunt (as everyone takes great pleasure in telling me). It really hurts my feelings. I would never say to someone 'gosh you're enormously fat. You must never stop eating' but they think it's okay to call me skinny and ask me if I ever eat!

Sister77 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:55:15

I've just had a message from one of the saying thin is beautiful big is adorable. Looks like we're still mates then!

jacks365 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:55:38

Considering the future so it's ok to joke about someone who is skinny? It doesn't matter to me which word was used but quite frankky I'd still put cow on the same level as beatch but it is the joking about size its either wrong for both or ok for both.

Sister77 Fri 11-Oct-13 17:57:33

And sorry where is egg I didn't mean all size 8s are like scarecrow just that I am

Topseyt Fri 11-Oct-13 17:57:56

I am in the camp that says both sides were being rude.

People's weight can be a sensitive issue, so often best avoided in such circumstances.

I have weight problems. I am overweight due to a medical condition. It has had me underweight at times in the past, but no longer. I don't like the fact that I cannot just be "normal". It just doesn't happen.

You never really know why someone is the way they are unless they divulge the reasons. Best to err on the side of caution IMHO as I know what it is like to be judged.

ThisIs Fri 11-Oct-13 17:58:08

ConsideringTheFuture - so by that reasoning it would have been OK if the OP had said to her friends "You just need the air-con on because you are fat beatches"?

Was it just the word cow you are objecting to?

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