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To be a little bit freaked out how invisible some of my old friends are online?

(58 Posts)
NotDead Fri 11-Oct-13 04:33:37

Now I am reasonably findable online, and most places I have worked have had me in their Internet etc, but a lot of my old friends just have nothing online at all. . and I really do mean at all at least in terms of my stalking casual enquiries. .

How do they do it? (assuming they are not all dead)??

havatry Fri 11-Oct-13 10:06:35

I'm invisible online even with FB, not particularly intentionally. I have a very common name, having married and taken my dh's surname. There are hundreds of us.

I am very findable and it's not because I like to 'splash myself all over the place' as someone said above hmm

I'm findable because
1) I have a unique name (literally no one else in the world has it spelled this way)
2) I've never changed my name or used a different one
3) I've done a number of projects which have significant online 'footprints', such as conferences, writing articles, editing books

If you Google my name you get a load of projects I've worked on and a few pictures of my face. Not much point in trying to 'hide', though I don't post pictures of my child or any personal info other than on MN.

LessMissAbs Fri 11-Oct-13 10:14:20

I asked some friends from uni about this recently. They said it is in case someone stalks them or some weird person contacts them. They don't have stalkers, they just think if they went online, its something that might happen. I find that odd, and a tad self-obsessed.

With an ex-boyfriend, it was because he had several women on the go at once and didn't want them to find out about each other. He was incredibly secretive, and memorably, despite being a recent graduate, claimed he "didn't know how to use Facebook".

NotDead Fri 11-Oct-13 10:21:16

Hello, Just ti clarify I said freaked out because I was genuinely wondering if some old friends had died without anyone letting me know and went online to hopefully be reassured. It's seems roughly that those who were most 'high profile' at uni etc seem to be the most secretive (or most dead. . ulp! ) but it's weird I'm trying to think what people would have done in the past to collect up their networks again.

I suppose philosophically I feel like the ease of the net makes losing touch feel more active and intentional that in would have been in the past.

Older friends of mine seem to have a long grapevine that means eventually they find a friend has died or had a great job from someone in that network. Now it seems that people are more passive about this stuff? ? Am I right?

forehead Fri 11-Oct-13 10:33:53

You may think that you are invisible, but if anyone wants to find out information about you, they can. It's not difficult
I do not have a facebook or a twitter account , yet my name appears on the internet. I really feel uncomfortable with this tbh.

SilverApples Fri 11-Oct-13 11:24:30

If you are on the electoral roll, that information is available to anyone who knows your name and location.

Mumsyblouse Fri 11-Oct-13 11:27:36

I am the same as heartisaspade for similar reasons, I can't hide myself because my work requires me to publicise my work and my photo is up there for all to see. Other than that, no visible footprint whatsoever, no photos etc. I prefer it that way and clearly lots of other people do too.

Latara Fri 11-Oct-13 11:40:15

My Mum wanted to be untraceable online and was annoyed to find that she's on 192.com - I suggest that everyone checks that and similar sites if you want to find anyone.
If people forget to tick a certain box when registering on the electoral roll then you can be found.

On a hilarious note, one of my cousins boasts about being untraceable because she's not on the electoral roll - then puts all her childrens' photos and personal updates on FB every day....

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