To be a little bit freaked out how invisible some of my old friends are online?

(58 Posts)
NotDead Fri 11-Oct-13 04:33:37

Now I am reasonably findable online, and most places I have worked have had me in their Internet etc, but a lot of my old friends just have nothing online at all. . and I really do mean at all at least in terms of my stalking casual enquiries. .

How do they do it? (assuming they are not all dead)??

thesaurusgirl Fri 11-Oct-13 08:26:11

I'm a company director so I come up on the internet if your search terms are sufficiently specific. Otherwise I'm invisible because my name is not especially unusual - if you Google me you get over 100,000 results and almost none refer to me.

I'm not on Facebook or Twitter and I like it that way. I was on Linked In (boss's orders) but took my profile down after it showed itself to be nothing more than an invitation for loons to get in touch.

MarshaBrady Fri 11-Oct-13 08:26:24

I don't do FB and twitter so unless you know me you won't see pics of my family or much information about my life. (My name is there connected to work).

I like it that way.

hugoagogo Fri 11-Oct-13 08:27:08

I am a little freaked out about how 'visible' some people are online personally.

thesaurusgirl Fri 11-Oct-13 08:28:08

Sorry, meant to say, a lot of my high profile clients pay search engine optimisation agencies (SEO) to either push them up the Google search results, or obscure them altogether. It's not expensive to be obscured and many rich people do it to avoid security problems or hide how they avoid tax

SamsGoldilocks Fri 11-Oct-13 08:35:03

I think it's pretty important to be invisible online. My life is my business, not for a relative stranger to gawp at. It amazes me how much people allow others to see.

PortBlacksandByBroomstick Fri 11-Oct-13 08:38:44

What hugoagogo said.

My twitter account is unrelated to anything other than my interests and none of my friends who have twitter accounts are on it - that's what FB is for. My Facebook account has a few friends and is private and i don't have any companies or interests 'likes 'in my feed - i use twitter for that. My name and business comes out top on google if you google my name but that is my maiden name and anyone who uses me wouldn't associate me with my FB page which is in my married name.

You can see i've thought about this grin. That said if you try hard enough or know me well enough you could put them all together but i like to keep them seperate. I name change just enough on here a lot too.

That said - i have tried to find an old school friend - he really does seem to have dropped off the planet. He had an unusual name too.

PortBlacksandByBroomstick Fri 11-Oct-13 08:41:43

Oh and i never put pictures of DH or DCs on Facebook. he's a very private person and they might want to be PM one day wink

Trills Fri 11-Oct-13 08:42:51

"Freaked out" is a weird phrase to use.

Confused or surprised, maybe.

Buglugs Fri 11-Oct-13 08:50:10

If I google myself, all it comes up with is a youtube video of the dog. (Plus some pics of other random people with the same/similar names).

It depends what field you work in for job stuff, privacy settings, whether or not you use twitter etc.

maillotjaune Fri 11-Oct-13 08:51:40

I was invisible until I joined Linkedin purely to catch up with an old friend who obviously still had my email (so requested contact) although I'd lost theirs.

Not sure why they didn't just email me though smile

The only details are my job title and university but I've changed my name since then.

MN Talk is about as close as I get to social media.

MarshaBrady Fri 11-Oct-13 08:57:20

LinkedIn is amazingly good at providing links for anyone you've emailed etc I was surprised at the amount of old contacts it showed me down the side.

I cancelled the account because I do two things and don't want one group to see the other work.

Latara Fri 11-Oct-13 08:59:39

My name is unusual (I believe i'm the only one with my name in the whole of the UK) so i'm easy to find.

I'm the only person with my name on FB; and somehow I ended up on 192.com (I think it's if you don't tick the privacy box on the electoral register which my dad forgot to do one year when I lived at his house so i'm registered at his address.)

Also i'm on the NMC database.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 11-Oct-13 09:13:41

I'm fairly visible online with my previous job. I was a research fellow at a university. We all have websites and photos. Now I'm just another bot in a large corporation so I'm not online with that.

I think it depends on your job. Other things like social media is your choice.

NoComet Fri 11-Oct-13 09:14:45

Latara and poppy

Yes it's odd DH and I are pretty invisible because we have very common first and surnames. DH is on linked in and I do a voluntary job, but you'd need to know more than our name to find us.

Where as both are sisters addresses come straight up. Unusual surnames and slightly less common/more unusually spelt first names. Nothing very out there, but enough.

I know DSIS likes having a really simple email, no numbers or anything, but I think being that easy to find would freak me out.

My DDs also have very common names so, quite accidentally, can choose to be harder to trace.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 11-Oct-13 09:15:04

And also I haven't changed my name on marriage.

It's amazing what some of my old schoolmates are up to by looking at their profiles in social network.

Am i a bit weird in that I don't wonder what people i went to school with years ago are doing now? I can barely remember any of their names.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 11-Oct-13 09:44:00

sparklingbrook maybe because your life is interesting and successful? I'm a bit boring so have once or twice looked up what people I know from school are doing. I am fb friends with some of them, so others are my foaf (friend of a friend). I only look those up.

One of them quit law school and is now a famous wig designer for the stars. Stars that I actually know the name of. She just had an exhibition of her work. That's the one I found most fascinating. I'm not that interested in pictures of children and husbands. Got enough of those on my fb newsfeed grin

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 11-Oct-13 09:45:01

And she obviously have had cosmetic surgery. Look so glamorous and different from when she was at school.

MarshaBrady Fri 11-Oct-13 09:45:54

I'm still in touch with a few friends and someone sent photos from the school reunion. It was funny to see the pics. But in a way it was nicer before just to have the very vague memories from how they were at school.

We did laugh when we both could not remember one guy being at school, at all.

PeppiNephrine Fri 11-Oct-13 09:49:48

I hope you guys now that while you think you might be "totally invisible" its only on the surface?
Just because an idle google search doesn't throw up a lot doesn't mean thats someone with above basic skills can't find out rather a lot more.

usuallyright Fri 11-Oct-13 09:50:09

am a bit bemused as to why people are afraid of being found on Google and craving total anonymity. Unless they're on a witness protection scheme or avoiding a nasty abusive ex.
Do you walk down the street with a paper bag over your head? If not, you're out there. Visible to the public.

My name is unusual - if you type my name into Facebook I'm the only one that comes up. I have my privacy and security settings tight though. My Twitter account is under a pseudonym, as is my blog.

I never post photos of the children online either, it feels like it would be an invasion of their privacy.

MarshaBrady Fri 11-Oct-13 09:51:11

I don't want to be invisible but I want a google search not to bring up FB first. But my work, which it does.

TEErickOrTEEreat Fri 11-Oct-13 09:57:09

I forgot to mention that I don't care if I'm invisible and do nothing to be invisible. It's just luck.

I'd actually be rather less invisible, which I'm working on, since I make my living on SM and the internet.

But there's a woman with my name who appears to be semi famous, although I've never heard of her!

TEErickOrTEEreat Fri 11-Oct-13 09:58:40

Also a male football coach with a name close enough to mine that Google says 'Did you mean __?'

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