ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
DS the 5yr old teen....(31 Posts)
Picked up DS from school. I note that he now tends to socialise with the older children, maybe 9-10yr olds. He's normally got a great sense of humour, very dry, and I think he finds their
sarcastic conversation a little more on his wavelength.
So, he's becoming a little more bolshie and outspoken (picture Clarkson in pint size) with his older peer group, and I've not really corrected him too much along the way, not wanting to stop his natural character coming out, but reprimanding for any bad behaviour or rudeness.
I'll get to the point: Today he comes home, in particularly "good form" leaves his clothes strewn across the landing en route to the bath. "DS, pick up your things and put them with the laundry please." Leaves a torrent of water all over the floor in his bathroom "DS, what have you been doing in here??" Has his milk and cookies at the table, I wander off to answer the phone, return and he's gone, spilt milk everywhere, and there are a trail of broken cookies and crumbs (being rapidly snaffled by the dog) to the sofa where he is lounging, surrounded by crumbs having flicked the tv on. "DS!!! What the?!!....." He interjects, puts his hand up casually in a "stop" motion: "Mummy. Must you always twist my melons??" Oh fucking really.
Have hauled his smart ass to his room and he's gone to bed half an hour early. That was the right thing to do, yes? And what do I do about nipping this "teen" behaviour coming from a 5.3yr old boy in the bud??!
The only issue I can see is one arising in the next couple of years when they move up to senior school.
If he alienates his own classmates, who are forming firm friendships in year 1, he may well find it very difficult to fit back in especially if he has subconsciously picked up their attitude.
can't help but had to at him channeling Shaun Rider at five.
Problem is when they lose interest in him will he have no friends his own age, and they will lose interest. I'd ask teacher to encourage playing with his peers. I'd also not encourage his rudeness , cute at a push at 5, not for long
If you're happy, he's happy and the teachers are happy there's no need to worry about these friendships... As part of a mix. Quite often boys and girls of 9/10 are nearer in interests to 5 / 6 year olds But next year or the year after things change and your DS may find himself left behind. If he's been encouraged to think that his older friends are better rather than just different to his younger ones he's going to have a hard time coming to terms with it all when they eventually move on. If he's lucky it will be gradual but if he's not it could be a sudden and confusing dropping.
I've some experience as DD 1 was in a multiage class at a village school. At 6 and a half her best friend was 10 and the rest 9 rising 10. This was in class so hard to do anything about but we sent her to brownies, and out of school clubs with her peers to ensure she understood different does not mean one group is better and she had enough mates of her age to cope with her emotions when the spilt eventually came. She had learned that You can have friends with different backgrounds, ages hobbies and beliefs... There is no better group they're all friends and you need to spend time, invest energy and find the things you do share in common.
I suspect its flattering for him and for you too to see your boy so popular with these cool funny lads. However unless he's uber smart and is going to be moved up year groups he's going to be spending the next 12 to 13 years of his life with the boys and girls he says are boring. That's a long time on the margins. Better he learn to use his amazing personality, smartness and emotional intelligence to be a leader among his peer group than spend his formative years as a follower trying to impress the cool kids.
Oh and don't worry about the melons... DD1's was 'talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening' ... We bought her a tshirt with it on and started using it when she was being whiney. Once the 'rents started saying it ad nauseam it lost its coolness. All part of growing up.
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