to be Well Jealous of those with lots of family support ie Babysitting??

(153 Posts)
mistyshouse Thu 10-Oct-13 09:17:38

my friend is jetting off to new york with her dh this morning and her 2 dcs are being looked after for the week by grandparents

this will never happen for me and dh. even though our dparents are relatively young (under 60) as MIL is a selfish arse who rarely babysits and then only for DD, as DS is not her proper grandchild (he is from my previous relationship, therefore she is not interested sad ) yet she constantly babysits her DP's GC who is not her bio GC (this whole MIL story, in itself, is a long story) and my parents both work full time and are not that keen on babysitting for more than a few hours at a time or at a push if we are desperate, overnight. but my mum has a knack of making me feel guilty about it and like a child again when i have to ask her.

we are having DC3 in april and babysitting will become even more scarce as who will want to look after 3 dcs?

aibu to be massively jealous a bit envious of the lucky lucky jammy bastards parents who have loads of babysitting options?

i wouldnt change having my dcs for anything but sometimes i would love a break

loveandsmiles Mon 14-Oct-13 10:27:16

YANBU. My mum doesn't speak to us and DH family are abroad. We have 5DC so would never expect anyone to look after them all ~ they are mine and my responsibility and I don't wish them to be looked after so I can go out etc. but it would be lovely to have a GP to turn to in an emergency or just for some extra support. It would also be lovely for DC to have a special relationship with a GP.

When I had DC 5 it was a planned section. DH is self~employed and can't afford to take much time off. I had section on the Thursday and DH had to stay at home looking after DC. I came out of hospital on the Sunday and did the school run on the Monday cos DH had to get back to work ~ it's at times like this it would be wonderful to have some family help.

Those who have parents / family involved in their lives are very lucky......

HexU Mon 14-Oct-13 12:07:16

So don't be jealous and instead start making new networks - by helping others with their kids...

Good advice if you don't live in an area where everyone else has family support - then people aren't interested in your help or giving you some and don't get the problems.

Though to be fair it's not just GP here it's sisters, brothers, IL -bro/sis, cousins even older DC who provide the family support I see all around us.

I think it would grate less on me if there were more people in my position and definitely if people didn't moan about the support they get given.

ssd Tue 15-Oct-13 21:12:59

I agree HexU.

I also have found, its people like us that have no support who would offer to help you out if they can, people with mum/sister/aunty/MIL round helping out all the time never imagine what its like and would never offer you any support, its the last thing they'd do. But finding someone in almost the same position as you is invaluable...until your kids get to the age they don't want to go to x's house as they don't like them/ they've got different hobbies or friends and they don't want to mix etc etc

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