To be sceptical over DP seeing estranged children?

(83 Posts)
JeremySmile Mon 07-Oct-13 13:24:38

DP hasn't seen his children from first wife for two years, they are just turned 6 and 7. His ex told him to take her to court for contact after a minor disagreement which followed months of her cancelling contact as and when she fancied. He didn't do so, which I think is downright wrong. He got a call from her solicitor on Friday offering that they call him this week and see him at the weekend. So effectively, he's still done nothing to try and see them, his ex has offered them up as she probably needs help with them and he could enter their lives again only to leave if he falls out with his ex again. I'd say it was his choice and keep out of it but I have children to consider too. AIBU to be sceptical about it all?

PeppiNephrine Tue 08-Oct-13 16:24:50

Unless he's on an oil rig offshore the job thing is likely bullshit.
He doesn't see them because he doesn't particularly want to, thats clear enough to see.

JeremySmile Wed 09-Oct-13 12:12:59

He works shifts which means he's often off on school days rather than weekends. They live 40 miles away which he thinks is too far/expensive to travel just for tea hmm

tippytap Wed 09-Oct-13 12:39:50

Have you posted about this before?

JeremySmile Wed 09-Oct-13 12:47:23

Nope, am at the end of my tether now though.

Onebuddhaisnotenough Wed 09-Oct-13 13:01:17

OP you are right to have serious misgivings. My ex is an abusive arse and we have been through a long court process and built up to a contact agreement.
So please ignore all the second wives club members who bleat on about their 'poor' 'D' hs whose evil exs can stop contact with children on a whim. Trust me. It 's not that easy.
I don't know what you can do now if you're already pregnant though ? He's a classic deadbeat dad and your instincts are totally spot on.

BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor Wed 09-Oct-13 14:07:29

This situation sounded familiar to me too. OP your DP sounds like a deadbeat dad who only wants to see his DC when it's convenient to him/he can be bothered to. That's no good for his DC who need stability of knowing when they'll see their father.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 09-Oct-13 17:53:24

Does his ex dangle the carrot of contact and then withdraw?

WaitMonkey Fri 11-Oct-13 12:13:27

Any progress op ?

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