Apologies for long intro!
DS is the only mixed race (in fact the only non-white) child in mothers group. He has three white grandparents (from 2 European countries and 1 English-speaking one) and one non-white grandparent - to avoid total unmasking, let's say Indonesian. Our home is now the UK and DS's first nationality is British. At home we speak English, plus my native European language, though we have visited all of our home countries and are keen to maintain ties, so do occasionally discuss this with other mums from overseas.
One of the other mothers now continually refers to him as 'the little Indonesian boy'. At first I was not bothered, it's easy to forget names and I suppose that babies don't have lots of other distinguishing characteristics! But now she clearly knows his name but still does it continually, to the point where she introduces him that way to new mums.
I think that she means well, and she sees it as cool that her daughter has a non-white little friend - and I wouldn't mind so much, except it makes me continually feel like explaining to the new mums that yes, I am actually his mother, even if we don't look very alike, and makes me wonder if it will always be like this.
I am probably (definitely) over thinking this, and being a bit PFB. But AIBU to want to stop it? In any case, is there a tactful way to get her to stop introducing him by a quarter of his ethnic background?
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AIBU?
Just a little odd, or just a little racist?
41 replies
Sunnysummer · 07/10/2013 09:30
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