Fat child kids, intervene or stay silent?

(18 Posts)
lostinwonderland Sun 06-Oct-13 23:27:42

This is about a friend of a friend. She is a lovely person who tries hard with her kids. One child (3) is very overweight, her husband is obese. Friend of a friend is trying to make changes to diet etc. The husband regularly posts photos on Facebook of kids eating, cake, ice cream etc with the line, don't tell mum! Husband is quite stubborn and a bit scary.
I have trouble with my kids and food and so at a party I saw him and said we should swap kids, (basically meaning I will slim down yours and you can fatten up mine). I know this is completely un PC and not my business and I know I overstepped every equitette rule in the book, but frankly I am horrified that he is doing this to his kids. Now everyone knows I said this and I am embarrassed but also angry on behalf of the child. I find it hard to say nothing obviously! Am I being unreasonable?
BTW husband was a notable athlete in his youth. Only gained weight since marrying.

WorraLiberty Sun 06-Oct-13 23:33:03

I can understand your anger at people who allow their kids to become obese, but your comment was not only rude, it was stupid too.

Do you get angry in this way about everything else that's not your business?

GangstersLoveToDance Sun 06-Oct-13 23:33:45

Er, intervene with a 'friend of a friends' kids? So assumingly someone you don't really know. Who has a scary husband.

I'd stay silent unless you're looking for a gobful.

jessieagain Sun 06-Oct-13 23:40:35

What did he say when you said that?

Retroformica Sun 06-Oct-13 23:40:57

Depends how you said it. It sounds like the sort joke I would make. However if it was said with intent, it probably shouldn't have been said. Although clearly some professional somewhere needs to tackle the food issue with him.

lostinwonderland Sun 06-Oct-13 23:46:33

No I don't.
I wasn't trying to be mean. It has been going on a while. I guess I thought I had nothing to lose, I don't care if he has a go. The child can't advocate.

Tweasels Sun 06-Oct-13 23:49:01

Surely as a parent who admittedly has trouble with their kids and food, you have no right to comment on another parent who also has trouble with their kids and food.

ApocalypseThen Sun 06-Oct-13 23:56:28

Why are you regularly looking at the Facebook page of a friend of a friend?

lostinwonderland Sun 06-Oct-13 23:56:37

My child has a disability which makes eating hard. Point taken though.

lostinwonderland Sun 06-Oct-13 23:56:58

No on news feed.

CoffeeTea103 Mon 07-Oct-13 00:01:55

You've said the wife is making diet changes so she is aware of a problem. What will you butting your nose in do for those kids? Friend of a friend? You really shouldn't say anything more.

lostinwonderland Mon 07-Oct-13 00:10:21

Don't worry I am not going to.

Tweasels Mon 07-Oct-13 00:20:19

I think it's perfectly reasonable to feel that this parent should be doing things differently but it's not your place to intervene. Your child has a disability which makes eating complicated, that must be so hard for you and My thoughts are with you for that. However, imagine others were judging you for your child being too thin etc, it wouldn't feel very nice.

This man probably has a very complex relationship with food and feels that he is being kind by treating his children in this way. If his wife is trying to sort things out I would take a step back and let her do what is necessary.

WorraLiberty Mon 07-Oct-13 00:26:09

What Tweasels said.

We could all go through life being angry at everyone for their parenting ways that we feel are poor.

But unless they affect you and yours, you need to butt out or you'll find yourself exhausted.

And given the well earned title of 'busybody' to boot....

ApocalypseThen Mon 07-Oct-13 00:29:45

Other than fairly ill-judged remarks, what intervention do you have in mind?

PeppiNephrine Mon 07-Oct-13 00:31:22

You do know that "Un-Pc" just means being a rude bollocks?
Keep your beak out.

Kiwiinkits Mon 07-Oct-13 05:06:50

Pretty much every parent I know or is in my wider circle does something that I secretly think hmm about. I'm judgemental and I'm comfortable with that. But I never say anything. Saying something is against the rules.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 07-Oct-13 06:00:32

Intervening will achieve nothing for the.child and just make them think you are a rude person.

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